i think i need medication
i really do. im just so easily upset anymore, and im usually not like that. zack was being really weird tonight, and im really pissed no one FUCKING answered my phone.. cuz then i would have gotten to see him. but no. they didnt. they let it FUCKING ring so by the time i got out of the shower he was gone. FUCKING assholes. so, naturally, when i talk to him tonight, hes real .. weird. he was all one-worded and decided at about 1030 that he wanted to go watch some fucking basketball game he taped. and then he was like .. see ya. no .. goodnight oliveyou. no, just gonna go watch gonzaga.. and for some reason that has me all worked up. im so afraid that im gonna lose him just as fast as i found him. then ill just have nothing, because i feel like i have nothing, even though i have friends nd all that shit, i feel so alone in so many things.. i cant talk to people about so much shit. so it stays all inside of me and i start to get like this where i spend nights at a time crying uncontrollably and its fucking ridiculous. so, thats why i need medication. i had around 12 years of therapy, its all gay. doesnt help. i need medication. or a lot of alcohol and illegal drugs. i dont know.. im gonna go eat til i blow up and cry until i fall asleep. im such a faggot. goodnight