i envy you. and i don't really know how to explain it to you, and i was going to try earlier....but you didn't really give me the chance, so i'll do it now. everytime you speak of these things i'm filled with this intense jealousy...part of it is because your heart was never with me...it was always someplace else. but neither of us can control that. i know how you tried to put it here with me...but it kept drifting away. because it doesn't belong with me...it never did. i'm so jealous that i couldn't have you, almost to the point of anger, but then i realize that all i want in this world is your happiness...even if that means i have to give you up. the other part of it is you know where your place is. not many people, including myself do. you have such a strong pull someplace else, such a binding love that i'm afraid i'll never find. i don't know how to explain it really....but this woman was right...your time here is done. you belong somewhere else, and i hope for the best for you there. bottom line is i love you to death, and despite my doubts sometimes, i know you love me too. but your heart isn't mine...it doesn't belong with me. the only thing i want in my life is for you to be perfectly happy, at whatever cost. you mean the fucking world to me kid, and if you're not alright, i'm not alright. when you hurt i feel it, and i feel it now. i hope your heavy heart and mind are put at ease soon my love. xoxo sara
and i don't really know how to explain it to you, and i was going to try earlier....but you didn't really give me the chance, so i'll do it now.
everytime you speak of these things i'm filled with this intense jealousy...part of it is because your heart was never with me...it was always someplace else. but neither of us can control that. i know how you tried to put it here with me...but it kept drifting away. because it doesn't belong with me...it never did. i'm so jealous that i couldn't have you, almost to the point of anger, but then i realize that all i want in this world is your happiness...even if that means i have to give you up.
the other part of it is you know where your place is. not many people, including myself do. you have such a strong pull someplace else, such a binding love that i'm afraid i'll never find. i don't know how to explain it really....but this woman was right...your time here is done. you belong somewhere else, and i hope for the best for you there.
bottom line is i love you to death, and despite my doubts sometimes, i know you love me too. but your heart isn't mine...it doesn't belong with me.
the only thing i want in my life is for you to be perfectly happy, at whatever cost.
you mean the fucking world to me kid, and if you're not alright, i'm not alright.
when you hurt i feel it, and i feel it now.
i hope your heavy heart and mind are put at ease soon my love.
xoxo
sara
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