Jan 10, 2005 20:26
You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach? The one you get the second you find out that everything was all a lie? Where you feel your heart stop beating for a second and all the food you've eaten all day suddenly seems to want to come up your throat? Because when you finally feel safe, when you finally feel like everything is okay.. it's not. Because once you get that feeling, it has to stop. There's no possible way for everything to actually be perfect. There's no possible way for you to be happy. Because no, that'd be too much to ask. Because being able to smile and tell people that someone actually loves you, that's just bull-fucking-shit. Because who can actually believe that? Why would life ever go right? Happiness is only in the fairy tales. Real life is excruciating. It hurts. It makes you cry and it makes you bleed. I think I was just meant to be one of those people that just sits back and lets pain happen to them. That way I can be one of those poets. Write down how life is shit and how blood is beautiful. Because I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the whole 'Let's all lie to Andrea because she'll believe it.' I'm worth so much more than that. And I need someone to treat me right.