I am finally seeing why I was the one worth leaving.
I think that your first love is probably the most pure love you'll ever experience with someone outside of your family (or inside if you're into incest I guess.) But seriously, everyone's always saying "first love's never really die" and "you'll always remember it" and I figure that's because you never knew heartbreak yet. Or maybe you have but finally you experienced something worth living. I tend to find myself leaving parts of me with the guys I like till eventually I'll prolly have nothing left and become a prostitute or something. (Just go with it for a sec) But it makes sense, you're still whole during your first love and you love without holding back because you don't know that the other side of the grass isn't greener but rather dead. I don't even think it's the fact that you haven't experienced much emotional pain (lets face it, there's hardly anything worse than seriously getting your heart broken. If you've truly loved you know what I mean.) I think it's more that you're experiencing something great for the first time and all you remember later on is that you never felt that way before so every other relationship doesn't compare. I don't know, this isn't exactly how I wanted to say all this but I guess the only way for you to know what I did is to be in my head.
On another note, I was reading something that had an interesting theory in it. Ok so it's like this, you've got a hole in your heart that you need someone to fill right? (to put it in cliche terms, your soulmate) The thing is that it's a square hole, not a circle. Everyone that you meet, that you've been with who didn't work out, they are all circles because they don't completely make your life whole. You just have to wait for your square to come along. I know the theory itself is kinda square but I think by now everyone knows I'm a hopeless romantic. (that means that I cling to these cheesy things and I have an excuse to do so).
Why am I the only one who is ever awake till 5A.M. everyday? I think I've got too much going on in my brain right now. I really need a best friend to talk to. Even with the people I've been hanging out with, it seems they are all better friends with each other than they are with me, and I don't even mean this in a depressing way, it's just kinda reality. Even though I do have best friends I can only tell some some things and the others other things. I really need one person that I can sit down and tell everything to, and maybe even cry. I don't think I've cried for a long while. I'm about due again ahaha. I really need a best guy friend to talk to. Even though I have one, I need one I can see. Hmmn don't mind this whole paragraph, it's mainly all me ranting to myself.
I hate lonely nights. I think too much.
On another note, I was reading something that had an interesting theory in it. Ok so it's like this, you've got a hole in your heart that you need someone to fill right? (to put it in cliche terms, your soulmate) The thing is that it's a square hole, not a circle. Everyone that you meet, that you've been with who didn't work out, they are all circles because they don't completely make your life whole. You just have to wait for your square to come along. I know the theory itself is kinda square but I think by now everyone knows I'm a hopeless romantic. (that means that I cling to these cheesy things and I have an excuse to do so).
Why am I the only one who is ever awake till 5A.M. everyday? I think I've got too much going on in my brain right now. I really need a best friend to talk to. Even with the people I've been hanging out with, it seems they are all better friends with each other than they are with me, and I don't even mean this in a depressing way, it's just kinda reality. Even though I do have best friends I can only tell some some things and the others other things. I really need one person that I can sit down and tell everything to, and maybe even cry. I don't think I've cried for a long while. I'm about due again ahaha. I really need a best guy friend to talk to. Even though I have one, I need one I can see. Hmmn don't mind this whole paragraph, it's mainly all me ranting to myself.
I hate lonely nights. I think too much.