(no subject)

[xblasphemousmex]

I guess I've been doing ok considering the circumstances. Sometimes I think otherwise though. It's so hard and I've never done this before. I just keep thinking how it's not fair. This lump in my throat rarely goes away. I feel like it's getting harder and I don't understand how it can get easier. Such a big piece of my happiness is missing.

I don't know what I believe and I don't know what I should believe. I don't know what's real. It makes me so unexplainably sad.

sorry