fuck.
sick again. why does life hate me. i don't know if i'm gonna make it to btbam tomorrow night. FUCK. seriously, why does timing have to always just shit on me.
but other than that, life sucks. exam tomorrow, quiz thursday, exam thursday, project due next tuesday, project due a week from monday. at least i have things to do once i get healthy. i was sitting in my preservation class today and it felt like the room was spinning. really bothered me. its hard to walk, especially out in the cold.
times like these remind me of when i had someone to take care of me. i miss it. i've also realized i relied on it way too much, and that it is kind of nice to take care of myself. i don't really know what i want out of life anymore. the more i look, the more i seem to just not want anything. i don't know what to really do about it. i don't feel like settling for something. but i don't feel like pushing away everything. it just turns into this downward spiral of loathing and me hating fucking everything. i've pretty much gotten rid of any attachment i had to anything. its fucked up. i just need something. i wish i knew what it was.
but other than that, life sucks. exam tomorrow, quiz thursday, exam thursday, project due next tuesday, project due a week from monday. at least i have things to do once i get healthy. i was sitting in my preservation class today and it felt like the room was spinning. really bothered me. its hard to walk, especially out in the cold.
times like these remind me of when i had someone to take care of me. i miss it. i've also realized i relied on it way too much, and that it is kind of nice to take care of myself. i don't really know what i want out of life anymore. the more i look, the more i seem to just not want anything. i don't know what to really do about it. i don't feel like settling for something. but i don't feel like pushing away everything. it just turns into this downward spiral of loathing and me hating fucking everything. i've pretty much gotten rid of any attachment i had to anything. its fucked up. i just need something. i wish i knew what it was.