*maybe therez a meaning to it after all..?..

[xblackslicesx]

yesterday I freaked out..yet again.. becuz of my meds. most of it is fuzzy but I couldnt stop shaking and I wouldnt sleep cuz I was afraid theyd think i was dead and have a funeral for me, and I wouldnt take a shower becuz i was afraid my hands would strangle me and make me drown, i wouldnt go outside becuz i was afraid id slip and fall and drown in one of the many puddles..it was hell and it was all becuz of my fukin meds. manda talked to me and calmed me down a lot she did more then knows and im so greatful i didnt do anything i would regret. except for the thing of trying to kill myself again - wit the fukin electrical cord..it wa all around my neck and hung up and as I was about to fall bob came home so i came down. thatz no good. :( he doeznt even care tho, he tried to od last night and had to go to the hospital to get his stomache pumped and its all my fault, i made him so miserable with sumthin so selfish on my part that I pushed him to do all that he did. I wasnt worth such a beautiful soul and he knows it now.
*i miss my talia! come bak from georgia now hunni we all need u n miss u~