Fuck girls...?
No... fuck me. I've only just realized this the moment before I decided to write about it. As much stress in my life as there is, I always seem to relate it back to the girl I've most recently developed a crush on. I use the term 'crush' lightly because there are some girls out there that will show me attention and cuddle with me, and me being a guy who's into that kind of stuff, I start to fall for them easily. For some reason, I never think that it's just them being nice or not having any feeling towards it and I start to like them, only to be let down.
Up until now, I've placed all the negativity and emptiness in my life towards all the shitty girls that I thought put me here. I was wrong. It's nobody's fault except my own. Whatever problems I have in my life: school, work, family, friends, the band... (not saying all these things are always stressful, but they all contribute stress at one point or another), they're all there because I put them there. Although I'm still not sure what I need to do to help myself, I guess I do know who not to blame now.
Someone told me last night to 'man up' and just do it because every day is just one step closer to getting out of this town, this life, this world. I guess I could grit my teeth and bear it... Everyone else does, and there are plenty of people that I know that have it worse than I do. I just have this fading vision of a life where every day is different and every day begins and ends with a smile. I guess that's just not true... maybe I have more growing up to do than I thought.
Up until now, I've placed all the negativity and emptiness in my life towards all the shitty girls that I thought put me here. I was wrong. It's nobody's fault except my own. Whatever problems I have in my life: school, work, family, friends, the band... (not saying all these things are always stressful, but they all contribute stress at one point or another), they're all there because I put them there. Although I'm still not sure what I need to do to help myself, I guess I do know who not to blame now.
Someone told me last night to 'man up' and just do it because every day is just one step closer to getting out of this town, this life, this world. I guess I could grit my teeth and bear it... Everyone else does, and there are plenty of people that I know that have it worse than I do. I just have this fading vision of a life where every day is different and every day begins and ends with a smile. I guess that's just not true... maybe I have more growing up to do than I thought.