Its like he doesn't want me, but he doesn't want anyone else to have me.
Yeah, so I was in a freaking awesome mood, and then I saw him. With HER. She's pretty. I will give her that much. But that is all I'm giving her. She looks like a snob if you ask me. Wearing barely nothing underneath a freaking cowboy hat and a sweater. And what is soooo funny, is that I was two inches away from him, and he glanced at me and then stared at the sky and kept walking, like he didn't even know me. It was so FREAKING obvious he saw me before I saw him. I mean, I don't expect him to talk to me or anything. I don't know. It was just the look in his eyes said it all. It was like "Okay, I see you, but just keep walking." And I know no one understands, but it is freaking hard to explain. I feel freaking used. Don't get me wrong, I'm sooooooo over him. Its just that I keep hearing about how happy he is with her, and how he might as well marry her, he is sooo dedicated. Dedicated, MY BUTT. He couldn't keep his pants on if they were super glued and nailed to his waist. Anyways, so then I hang out with his friend at the fair Saturday night and he gets mad because I'm talking to one of his friends. Good grief. He said he doesn't care about me anymore, but everytime he finds out I'm with somebody else, he pitches his fit. I know he probably wouldn't come out and say that. But it is freaking obvious to everybody. And another bad thing is he keeps telling people I'm still trying to talk to him. He told people I'm calling him everyday and he isn't answering. I haven't called that DA in MONTHS. And the last time I even freaking talked to him on the phone - HE CALLED ME!!! He is such a freaking liar.
I'm gonna do nothing but post quotes now...because I feel like crap, and I am bound and determined to not let something this stupid get me down. So here are some random things I found sorta about my situation. You don't have to read them. I just need to get this out somehow.
If you dress nicely, he calls you a snob. If you dress sexy, he calls you a slut. If you argue with him, he says you're stubborn. If you are quiet, he says you're stupid. If you call him, he says you're clingy. If he calls you, he says you should be grateful. If you don't love him, he'll try to win you. If you love him, he'll leave you. If you don't have sex with him, he says you don't love him. If you do, he says you're easy. If you tell him your problems, he'll say you're irritating. If you don't, he'll say you don't trust him. If you lecture him, he says you're bossy. If he lectures you, it's because he "cares." If you break a promise, you can't be trusted. If he breaks a promise, he had to. If you cheat, he'll expect it to be over. If he cheats, he expects to be given another chance.
Sometimes all you can do is smile and move on with the day, hold back the tears, and pretend you're okay.
You might as well go buy a condom and put it over your head. You act like a dick, so you might as well dress like one.
do you ever just get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? you dont want to smile, and you don't want to fake being happy. but at the same time, you don't know exactly what is wrong either. there isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. if you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. people have stopped being comforting.. and being alone never was. at least when you're alone no one constantly asks you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who wont take 'i don't know' for an answer. you feel the way you do just BECAUSE. you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait ..
when your throat starts to clench
& tingle & your heart gets so warm
the heat travels through your body.
when your stomach starts to feel
those unforgiving butterflies that
spark the instant flow of tears.
that's the worst pain you'll ever feel
that's your heart breaking
Why you let go, I'll never know.
I don't want you back.
Stop telling people that.
It's times like these, I remember why I hate you..
I hope you know i'm not angry about anything anymore, I've learned to let go. After all, we were just silly teenagers with our hopes & hormones way too high.
Oh, don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet Wishing to be the FRICTION in your jeans. Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be her?
the only thing that comforts me is
knowing that you'll never be happy
When you watch people from afar you will create fantasies, and went you go to take a close look… nine times out of ten you wish you hadn't.
I'm gonna do nothing but post quotes now...because I feel like crap, and I am bound and determined to not let something this stupid get me down. So here are some random things I found sorta about my situation. You don't have to read them. I just need to get this out somehow.
If you dress nicely, he calls you a snob. If you dress sexy, he calls you a slut. If you argue with him, he says you're stubborn. If you are quiet, he says you're stupid. If you call him, he says you're clingy. If he calls you, he says you should be grateful. If you don't love him, he'll try to win you. If you love him, he'll leave you. If you don't have sex with him, he says you don't love him. If you do, he says you're easy. If you tell him your problems, he'll say you're irritating. If you don't, he'll say you don't trust him. If you lecture him, he says you're bossy. If he lectures you, it's because he "cares." If you break a promise, you can't be trusted. If he breaks a promise, he had to. If you cheat, he'll expect it to be over. If he cheats, he expects to be given another chance.
Sometimes all you can do is smile and move on with the day, hold back the tears, and pretend you're okay.
You might as well go buy a condom and put it over your head. You act like a dick, so you might as well dress like one.
do you ever just get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? you dont want to smile, and you don't want to fake being happy. but at the same time, you don't know exactly what is wrong either. there isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. if you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. people have stopped being comforting.. and being alone never was. at least when you're alone no one constantly asks you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who wont take 'i don't know' for an answer. you feel the way you do just BECAUSE. you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait ..
when your throat starts to clench
& tingle & your heart gets so warm
the heat travels through your body.
when your stomach starts to feel
those unforgiving butterflies that
spark the instant flow of tears.
that's the worst pain you'll ever feel
that's your heart breaking
Why you let go, I'll never know.
I don't want you back.
Stop telling people that.
It's times like these, I remember why I hate you..
I hope you know i'm not angry about anything anymore, I've learned to let go. After all, we were just silly teenagers with our hopes & hormones way too high.
Oh, don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet Wishing to be the FRICTION in your jeans. Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be her?
the only thing that comforts me is
knowing that you'll never be happy
When you watch people from afar you will create fantasies, and went you go to take a close look… nine times out of ten you wish you hadn't.