Awakening
I still feel like something is going on
I am the king of research, and usually that backfires on me
because it's turned me into a hypochondriac
which is easy to be turned into
when 90% of symptom checks on the internet mention the word 'cancer'
I know anxiety very well,
I know it can do things to your mind and body that you would never believe
but I do not think this is anxiety
though I have been wrong before.
Lastnight the band had practice in Munnsville, we got done, all the guys were chilling inside,
it was a beautiful night out so I decided to go hang outside by myself,
there is a stray cat that lives out there and she must hear the music when we practice
because she's always waiting for us outside after practice,
I was hoping she would be there and she was.
She meowed a few times and I called her to my lap, she jumped up and was purring like crazy
something about the night, my mood, the cat, it all moved me
it got me thinking about life, all the noise and war and races, and all the things calm, quiet, delicate
there is a thin reality that flows through the anxiety of day to day commotion
and in that stream is the beauty of life,
it's as real as this life can be even though it's a fleeting state of mind.
Last night I came to terms with myself that if I were told I would die soon, I could live with that
I think maybe we all have our check list to perform while we're here,
and I have a feeling mine is pretty much complete,
the only thing left I really want to do is make a solo cd
I've met some amazing people, they've touched my life, I've touched theirs,
I've felt the energy and magic of the stage, I've gotten lost in songs
I've found nature, and peace, pain, loss.
I think we all have a natural fear of death and not knowing what happens,
but I feel as of last night that I am as ready as I'll ever be.
Come what may.
I am the king of research, and usually that backfires on me
because it's turned me into a hypochondriac
which is easy to be turned into
when 90% of symptom checks on the internet mention the word 'cancer'
I know anxiety very well,
I know it can do things to your mind and body that you would never believe
but I do not think this is anxiety
though I have been wrong before.
Lastnight the band had practice in Munnsville, we got done, all the guys were chilling inside,
it was a beautiful night out so I decided to go hang outside by myself,
there is a stray cat that lives out there and she must hear the music when we practice
because she's always waiting for us outside after practice,
I was hoping she would be there and she was.
She meowed a few times and I called her to my lap, she jumped up and was purring like crazy
something about the night, my mood, the cat, it all moved me
it got me thinking about life, all the noise and war and races, and all the things calm, quiet, delicate
there is a thin reality that flows through the anxiety of day to day commotion
and in that stream is the beauty of life,
it's as real as this life can be even though it's a fleeting state of mind.
Last night I came to terms with myself that if I were told I would die soon, I could live with that
I think maybe we all have our check list to perform while we're here,
and I have a feeling mine is pretty much complete,
the only thing left I really want to do is make a solo cd
I've met some amazing people, they've touched my life, I've touched theirs,
I've felt the energy and magic of the stage, I've gotten lost in songs
I've found nature, and peace, pain, loss.
I think we all have a natural fear of death and not knowing what happens,
but I feel as of last night that I am as ready as I'll ever be.
Come what may.