(no subject)
My mom had a really deep talk to Daniel about Holly. I love her to death, but she messes with Dan's mind and I feel bad. So my mom was like let me talk to Danny, she told hime about all the shit her and my dad went through. I mean it was like so deep. I was like Holy Shit.
Mom: She runs off and hangs out with guys, then when she is all alone she comes back to you, and because you love her you take her back. It is true love when you can forgive and forget just like that.
Daniel: I want to meet other girls, and have a real relationship, but it isn't fair that I go with these girls and I am thinking about Holly. In a relationship you devote your time and attention to that one person and you can't when you are thinking about something else.
Mom: Just let her go. Don't let her use you as a fallback. You need to get out there and fall in love. You can't do that if you are sitting and waiting for her to come back to you everytime her heart is broken, because your heart will be broken when she does find someone and stays with them. You are too young to be this involved and this deep. Let her go. If she wants you back for good she will have to work for you, and that is the test of true love.
Dude I was like damn mom you're deep. I gotta use that shit. It made me think alot about me and Joe. I mean I want to be with him, but everything that we have been through, it makes me wonder...Am I coming back to him? Is it really love? All this stuff has been going through my head. I haven't thought this deep in awhile. So yeah. He walked me to my bus today and held my hand. I felt so at home, and when he hugged me I didn't wanna let go. I dunno why this time with him is so diffrent. I dunno if he is diffrent, it is just something we will have to see. I have to take a chance, I really think I love him...I haven't exactly treated him so good, but he always comes back, willing to forgive and forget. He makes me laugh, and when he holds me I feel so safe, I love it. I know I go on and on and it is boring but I just can't stop thinking about it.
Stacy is sad because Cody is not coming in this weekend, I feel so bad, if I had my license I could take her to see him...and I would in a heartbeat. Love like theirs is seriously rare. I mean when they are together nothing can bring them down. It is real love, like the one in the notebook movie...yeah not kidding, I didn't think it reall existed but it does. I know it sounds kinda dumb, but it is true, ask anyone that has seen them together. I mean if Stacy can find someone like that, then maybe there is someone out there for me, and I can have what she has. HAhahaha ok, I sound crazy. So I need some funny.
Journal Entry:
(this is what you do when you have no life, don't talk shit about me anymore.)
I've had a few glasses and I'm gonna have a few more. I had a dream about drinking water (among other things) but I like, couldn't quench my thirst so now I am. Just to make up for it.
We were all (we being me) waiting to find out how today would go and lemme tell ya, today was actually surprisingly good. Didn't see Alicia until lunch and by then any anxiety I had over the possible outcome of the day was flushed down the toilet because life is too short to worry, or something like that.
Came into lunch alone without any anxiety at all. Eber wasn't there right away and I didn't freak out at all. So, hooray on that first. Sat down, no sign of Alicia. Few minutes pass, Eber comes in, sits down with me where Kevin (who we've all lovingly dubbed as Alicia's Boy Toy, or when we fight, The Guy Who Uses Alicia For Her Boobies)who is clearly apathetic to the whole situation and sits with who ever will buy him lunch, is having a nice chit chat with us.
Then, Courtney (the girl who allegedly smokes weed but not cigarettes)comes running in and sits down beside me (keep in mind I've talk to this girl maybe twice) looking incredibly annoyed. She says "You know that girl is talkin shit about you out there? It's so goddamn annoying, especially after we defended her when I told you how the people she smokes with talk about her behind her back!" I just shrugged it off, internally giddy that she was coming off as more trashy than anything else.
And the general consensus on the whole Cussing My Mom Out On the Phone: "Ew, she cussed out a parent? That's not cool man, not cool."
So Alciia comes in looking frumpy and greasy as ever thinking she's the shit wearing baggy jeans that she turned into capris (not flattering on anyone) and la piece de resistance: the I Heart Nerds shirt that I gave her after never wearing it (what was it she said? I have "sorry ass clothes?" yeah. irony, or stupidity? you decide.)She came to the table with the ONE friend that was with her and looked like she was trying to make me uncomfortable by being in my space but the fact was, I wasn't uncomfortable and she looked completely unhappy standing there. very forced and uncomfortable. unless thats how she always looks which is rather sad.
The chemistry class. There are four rows of two student desks. I sit in the second row, alicia sits in the 4th row with Eber. Eber blatantly ignores her and talks over her like she isn't there for 30 minutes until she asks the teacher if she can move. Of course I knew her easily upsettably self confidence couldnt take even the lightest taunting (for someone who can dish it, she sure as hell cant take it). Moving to the only free seat, she ends up smack dab in front of me.
Wonderful. This is lovely for the sole fact that I get to see the back of her greasy head and laugh because damn, did she even try this morning? Between diligently doing my work, my mind raced with all the possible taunts. But, no. I'm a nice person. I would never taunt someone.. *innocent whistle*
The thing is, in this class there is a lot of passing papers forward to the front.. which means when people pass their papers to me, I get to wave them at Alicias back and call her name until she get them. So, I do. I say very merrily "Alicia!!!! Turn around!!" which she chooses to ignore. Until Ms Myers, clearly pissed that Alicia is ignoring, told her to get the papers I was holding. So, grudginly Alicia reaches back and takes the papers... after I hold them out of her reach for a few moments.
And if she hadn'ta fucking zoomed out of the class the moment the bell rang I would've complimented her on the shirt she was wearing. Muwha.
Also, if anyone wants to try and say that I'm writing this to instigate her, they can suck my balls because like every lj entry which includes alicia, this will be friends only where she is not one of my friendlist. 2xmuwha....
Ok, these chicks that I know she talks to keep coming up to me saying that she is saying shit about me...I am not going into detail, but yeah, like I told them, she hasn't said anything to me. I even sat at the table with her, beside Holly and she didn't say a word, if I am correct, she didn't even look at me, but yeah whatever I am fucking sick of the drama...just grow up.
Mom: She runs off and hangs out with guys, then when she is all alone she comes back to you, and because you love her you take her back. It is true love when you can forgive and forget just like that.
Daniel: I want to meet other girls, and have a real relationship, but it isn't fair that I go with these girls and I am thinking about Holly. In a relationship you devote your time and attention to that one person and you can't when you are thinking about something else.
Mom: Just let her go. Don't let her use you as a fallback. You need to get out there and fall in love. You can't do that if you are sitting and waiting for her to come back to you everytime her heart is broken, because your heart will be broken when she does find someone and stays with them. You are too young to be this involved and this deep. Let her go. If she wants you back for good she will have to work for you, and that is the test of true love.
Dude I was like damn mom you're deep. I gotta use that shit. It made me think alot about me and Joe. I mean I want to be with him, but everything that we have been through, it makes me wonder...Am I coming back to him? Is it really love? All this stuff has been going through my head. I haven't thought this deep in awhile. So yeah. He walked me to my bus today and held my hand. I felt so at home, and when he hugged me I didn't wanna let go. I dunno why this time with him is so diffrent. I dunno if he is diffrent, it is just something we will have to see. I have to take a chance, I really think I love him...I haven't exactly treated him so good, but he always comes back, willing to forgive and forget. He makes me laugh, and when he holds me I feel so safe, I love it. I know I go on and on and it is boring but I just can't stop thinking about it.
Stacy is sad because Cody is not coming in this weekend, I feel so bad, if I had my license I could take her to see him...and I would in a heartbeat. Love like theirs is seriously rare. I mean when they are together nothing can bring them down. It is real love, like the one in the notebook movie...yeah not kidding, I didn't think it reall existed but it does. I know it sounds kinda dumb, but it is true, ask anyone that has seen them together. I mean if Stacy can find someone like that, then maybe there is someone out there for me, and I can have what she has. HAhahaha ok, I sound crazy. So I need some funny.
Journal Entry:
(this is what you do when you have no life, don't talk shit about me anymore.)
I've had a few glasses and I'm gonna have a few more. I had a dream about drinking water (among other things) but I like, couldn't quench my thirst so now I am. Just to make up for it.
We were all (we being me) waiting to find out how today would go and lemme tell ya, today was actually surprisingly good. Didn't see Alicia until lunch and by then any anxiety I had over the possible outcome of the day was flushed down the toilet because life is too short to worry, or something like that.
Came into lunch alone without any anxiety at all. Eber wasn't there right away and I didn't freak out at all. So, hooray on that first. Sat down, no sign of Alicia. Few minutes pass, Eber comes in, sits down with me where Kevin (who we've all lovingly dubbed as Alicia's Boy Toy, or when we fight, The Guy Who Uses Alicia For Her Boobies)who is clearly apathetic to the whole situation and sits with who ever will buy him lunch, is having a nice chit chat with us.
Then, Courtney (the girl who allegedly smokes weed but not cigarettes)comes running in and sits down beside me (keep in mind I've talk to this girl maybe twice) looking incredibly annoyed. She says "You know that girl is talkin shit about you out there? It's so goddamn annoying, especially after we defended her when I told you how the people she smokes with talk about her behind her back!" I just shrugged it off, internally giddy that she was coming off as more trashy than anything else.
And the general consensus on the whole Cussing My Mom Out On the Phone: "Ew, she cussed out a parent? That's not cool man, not cool."
So Alciia comes in looking frumpy and greasy as ever thinking she's the shit wearing baggy jeans that she turned into capris (not flattering on anyone) and la piece de resistance: the I Heart Nerds shirt that I gave her after never wearing it (what was it she said? I have "sorry ass clothes?" yeah. irony, or stupidity? you decide.)She came to the table with the ONE friend that was with her and looked like she was trying to make me uncomfortable by being in my space but the fact was, I wasn't uncomfortable and she looked completely unhappy standing there. very forced and uncomfortable. unless thats how she always looks which is rather sad.
The chemistry class. There are four rows of two student desks. I sit in the second row, alicia sits in the 4th row with Eber. Eber blatantly ignores her and talks over her like she isn't there for 30 minutes until she asks the teacher if she can move. Of course I knew her easily upsettably self confidence couldnt take even the lightest taunting (for someone who can dish it, she sure as hell cant take it). Moving to the only free seat, she ends up smack dab in front of me.
Wonderful. This is lovely for the sole fact that I get to see the back of her greasy head and laugh because damn, did she even try this morning? Between diligently doing my work, my mind raced with all the possible taunts. But, no. I'm a nice person. I would never taunt someone.. *innocent whistle*
The thing is, in this class there is a lot of passing papers forward to the front.. which means when people pass their papers to me, I get to wave them at Alicias back and call her name until she get them. So, I do. I say very merrily "Alicia!!!! Turn around!!" which she chooses to ignore. Until Ms Myers, clearly pissed that Alicia is ignoring, told her to get the papers I was holding. So, grudginly Alicia reaches back and takes the papers... after I hold them out of her reach for a few moments.
And if she hadn'ta fucking zoomed out of the class the moment the bell rang I would've complimented her on the shirt she was wearing. Muwha.
Also, if anyone wants to try and say that I'm writing this to instigate her, they can suck my balls because like every lj entry which includes alicia, this will be friends only where she is not one of my friendlist. 2xmuwha....
Ok, these chicks that I know she talks to keep coming up to me saying that she is saying shit about me...I am not going into detail, but yeah, like I told them, she hasn't said anything to me. I even sat at the table with her, beside Holly and she didn't say a word, if I am correct, she didn't even look at me, but yeah whatever I am fucking sick of the drama...just grow up.