(no subject)
i wish i could stop crying.
if i the guts i did last year. then i wouldnt take my pain out on others. the person who deserved it would get it. but i dont so i just mess up everything with other people.
i dont know why that was such a big deal to me. i guess when you dont have anyone to talk to or look to on a regular basis you jump at every chance you get and when you get cheated of that chance you cant help but be devastated.
you broke up with me the first time because you needed time for your band. well i want you to know you can have that time and its fine with me. im so sorry.
i didnt think id get as attached the second time around. it started off fine, i didnt really care either way , i mean the damage had been done, but i couldnt help but fall back in. i was so close to just being over it, sad but over it and now im just as involved as before and im going to end up just as heartbroken. i love the way i feel now but im so scared of how im going to feel and theres no way out of it. why does everything so great have to end up so horrible? i really wish i was princess.
i make myself sick. i mean look at me.
she isnt going to let me out of global studies. im going to go crazy if i stay in. i just want things to be easy for once.
im scared after that phone conversation. i always mess things up.
i think i am the epitome of pathetic. i take everything overboard and scare people away. even myself.
i wish i had someone who didnt care about me but would listen. someone who was completely indifferent towards me but would just listen. hold me. i dont even care if they care. just be there whenever.
i wanted to watch that movie so bad and i dont know why. i guess i think with your new job in the daytime and your band at night youre gonna realize again youre fine with out me.
im so stupid and i apologize.
i hate living here. i hate being here. i wish there was somewhere to go where i could be happy.
i dont even know how to put myself down anymore. ive covered everything but i know im worse than it all.
if i the guts i did last year. then i wouldnt take my pain out on others. the person who deserved it would get it. but i dont so i just mess up everything with other people.
i dont know why that was such a big deal to me. i guess when you dont have anyone to talk to or look to on a regular basis you jump at every chance you get and when you get cheated of that chance you cant help but be devastated.
you broke up with me the first time because you needed time for your band. well i want you to know you can have that time and its fine with me. im so sorry.
i didnt think id get as attached the second time around. it started off fine, i didnt really care either way , i mean the damage had been done, but i couldnt help but fall back in. i was so close to just being over it, sad but over it and now im just as involved as before and im going to end up just as heartbroken. i love the way i feel now but im so scared of how im going to feel and theres no way out of it. why does everything so great have to end up so horrible? i really wish i was princess.
i make myself sick. i mean look at me.
she isnt going to let me out of global studies. im going to go crazy if i stay in. i just want things to be easy for once.
im scared after that phone conversation. i always mess things up.
i think i am the epitome of pathetic. i take everything overboard and scare people away. even myself.
i wish i had someone who didnt care about me but would listen. someone who was completely indifferent towards me but would just listen. hold me. i dont even care if they care. just be there whenever.
i wanted to watch that movie so bad and i dont know why. i guess i think with your new job in the daytime and your band at night youre gonna realize again youre fine with out me.
im so stupid and i apologize.
i hate living here. i hate being here. i wish there was somewhere to go where i could be happy.
i dont even know how to put myself down anymore. ive covered everything but i know im worse than it all.