Chapter 3: Complicated Part 1
Title: Chapter 3: Complicated - Part 1
Author: xbigbangx
Pairings: GRi, GTOP
A/N: Okay, so this chapter is just total and complete.. PHAILL. It's not even done. I told someone, (forgot who... =__=;;) that I would post this part sometime by the latest Saturday. And so I shall keep to my word and do so. This is merely the 1st part to this um.. chapter, so stay tuned for the next time my brain decides to let me finish this.
Previous chaps:
Tears of a Broken Heart - Ch. 2
Missing - Ch. 1
--------
Complicated - Ch. 3 Part 1 - GD's pov
I sigh as I lay back upon my bed, Ri is gone at the moment, out on a photo shoot since morning.
It's been a week since the incident up on the roof and ever since then, he's been avoiding me like the plague.
I sigh in frustration, burying my hands in my hair as I mess it up. Why is he like this?! Can't he see that I'm genuinely concerned about him? Can't he see that I worry about him?
I roll onto my side as thoughts of the incident rolled through my brain. It's been bugging me so much I can't really seem to focus on much else but him and thoughts of him. Why does that keep on happening?
Even when I'm with my RiRi, I can't seem to concentrate on him and only concentrate on Seunghyun-hyung.
I'm so engrossed with my thoughts I didn't seem to notice Ri coming home until he was in front of our room door, calling out to me. "HYUNG! I've been calling for you for the past minute, why didn't you reply?"
I snap out of my thoughts as I heard maknae at the door.
"Oh, hey Seung Ri. What were you saying earlier?" I asked distractedly, waving at him as he entered the room.
"I SAID," Seung Ri sat down upon the bed, smiling, "I'm back."
"Oh, well then. Time for your warm welcome then, I suppose? Well, okaeri, Seung Ri!" I say to Seung Ri, smiling as I greeted him upon his arrival home.
"Finally I get my welcome!" Seung Ri jokes as he lays down on the bed next to me.
"Tadaima." Seung Ri continued, scooting closer in order to kiss me.
As he kissed me, I felt nothing but a hollow and dull feeling in my heart. For some reason, when he kissed me, it just didn't seem right anymore.
I broke the kiss as I stared at Ri's face.
"Ne, RiRi. You must be tired. Why don't you sleep?" I say to Seung Ri, hoping to get back to my thoughts of the incident on the roof.
"Mm. Kay. Will you stay with me?" Ri asks, looking up at me in that cute way of his that just doesn't seem as cute as it used to be.
"Course Ri. Where else will I go?" I tell him, tired voice and a fake yawn to convince him to go to sleep already.
"Of course." Ri says and laughs then cuddles into my side, exhausted from his long day of work and smile on his face.
"Night, RiRi." I say to him as he soon enough drifts into the land of slumber. Finally, more time to think about the situation. I've had one week to think about it and yet I'm still not over it.
It's not surprising really, since you don't really see Seunghyun so weak and emotional that often. It's a rare occurrence really and when it does happen, you know something is terribly wrong.
I think of the actions we did and the words we said.
-Flashback-
"Stop acting as if you care, Ji. Stop acting as if you really want to comfort me. Stop doing this to me, Ji! Why can't you just leave me alone?! Go! You have Ri now, and I'm just left here to wallow in my misery! So just go back to your beloved one and leave me alone!" Seunghyun yelled at me with so many emotions laced in his voice it was hard to decipher it all. I was in complete shock. Why is he yelling at me? And then I feel this painful tightening like a strong grip within my chest, where my heart is supposed to be.
I become saddened. It hurt to think that he actually said that to me. I don't know why it hurt so much, but it just seemed to make my heart clench in pain and my stomach do some strange flip flops. Is that how he really feels? Does he really think that I don't care about him? Of course I do! I look at his face with that shocked expression on his face just like mine, coming to a realization about something.
He pushed me away as he said, "Just go, Ji. You have someone waiting for you downstairs." standing up in the process. At those words, I couldn't help but feel outraged. Here I am, trying to comfort him and all he does is push me away?!
And in a moment of silent anger, I do just as he says, going away just like he told me to. I clench my fists tightly together, but it doesn't help any. I feel tears prickling at the back of my eyes but I don't really know why I'm crying. There's nothing to cry over.
In a last moment of desperation to get him to open up to me, I tell him, "Fine, be that way. If you really don't want me here that badly, I'll go away." and as I say those words, I unintentionally let the pain and sad feelings I felt at the time seep into my voice. Because he was being so mean and distant it hurt.
It hadn't worked. I guess reverse psychology doesn't work all that well, huh?
I walk to the door, about to go down the flight of stairs leading to where Ri would be. That thought kind of seemed strange. I was exactly going to Ri, but it seemed as if I was being led to him.
I pause at the last second, only one step away from the door and my hand almost on the door knob. I had to know. Before I left him alone, I had to know why he was pushing me away so desperately.
"Why are you being so mean? Why can't you just let me comfort you? Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" I ask him with the voice of conviction but the tone of curiosity, if that would make any sense. I felt bitter. I stood in front of the door, waiting for his answer, for any sort of reply.
He stayed mainly silent except for one uttered sentence that doesn't really do much but make me even more aggravated. It explains nothing and it simply just puts the situation into that much more mystery.
"Because, Ji. Simply because." he tells me. I clench my fists again, trying to control my annoyance. I frown as I instead open the door to the flight of stairs, going down to where Ri would be. I try and get rid of that painful feeling in my chest as one tear escapes down my cheek. I quickly brush it away with my hand.
There's no reason to cry. There's no need to cry. I'll be seeing Ri soon. But I don't want to see him right now. I can't deal with the maknae right now. I won't go to Ri, Maybe I'll just take a walk around the block and sort my thoughts or something.
The door closes behind me as I continue to walk down the flight of stairs. I hear a soft thump and a sigh on the rooftop before it's drowned out by the sound of the TV and maknae and Dae Sung playing RTS video games.
- End Flashback-
I sigh and roll onto my back, these thoughts taking me nowhere but in an endless circle of confusion.
What a complicated mess.
I run a hand through my hair as I bite my lip in concentration, frowning lightly as I thought.
That day, I had wanted to go to the roof to get away from everything and simply have peace and quiet to think. To think about everything and anything. It was one of those times where I felt like questioning everything.
----------
A/N: Despite it not being completed, please comment? ^-^' Sorry if there are mistakes in here.
Author: xbigbangx
Pairings: GRi, GTOP
A/N: Okay, so this chapter is just total and complete.. PHAILL. It's not even done. I told someone, (forgot who... =__=;;) that I would post this part sometime by the latest Saturday. And so I shall keep to my word and do so. This is merely the 1st part to this um.. chapter, so stay tuned for the next time my brain decides to let me finish this.
Previous chaps:
Tears of a Broken Heart - Ch. 2
Missing - Ch. 1
--------
Complicated - Ch. 3 Part 1 - GD's pov
I sigh as I lay back upon my bed, Ri is gone at the moment, out on a photo shoot since morning.
It's been a week since the incident up on the roof and ever since then, he's been avoiding me like the plague.
I sigh in frustration, burying my hands in my hair as I mess it up. Why is he like this?! Can't he see that I'm genuinely concerned about him? Can't he see that I worry about him?
I roll onto my side as thoughts of the incident rolled through my brain. It's been bugging me so much I can't really seem to focus on much else but him and thoughts of him. Why does that keep on happening?
Even when I'm with my RiRi, I can't seem to concentrate on him and only concentrate on Seunghyun-hyung.
I'm so engrossed with my thoughts I didn't seem to notice Ri coming home until he was in front of our room door, calling out to me. "HYUNG! I've been calling for you for the past minute, why didn't you reply?"
I snap out of my thoughts as I heard maknae at the door.
"Oh, hey Seung Ri. What were you saying earlier?" I asked distractedly, waving at him as he entered the room.
"I SAID," Seung Ri sat down upon the bed, smiling, "I'm back."
"Oh, well then. Time for your warm welcome then, I suppose? Well, okaeri, Seung Ri!" I say to Seung Ri, smiling as I greeted him upon his arrival home.
"Finally I get my welcome!" Seung Ri jokes as he lays down on the bed next to me.
"Tadaima." Seung Ri continued, scooting closer in order to kiss me.
As he kissed me, I felt nothing but a hollow and dull feeling in my heart. For some reason, when he kissed me, it just didn't seem right anymore.
I broke the kiss as I stared at Ri's face.
"Ne, RiRi. You must be tired. Why don't you sleep?" I say to Seung Ri, hoping to get back to my thoughts of the incident on the roof.
"Mm. Kay. Will you stay with me?" Ri asks, looking up at me in that cute way of his that just doesn't seem as cute as it used to be.
"Course Ri. Where else will I go?" I tell him, tired voice and a fake yawn to convince him to go to sleep already.
"Of course." Ri says and laughs then cuddles into my side, exhausted from his long day of work and smile on his face.
"Night, RiRi." I say to him as he soon enough drifts into the land of slumber. Finally, more time to think about the situation. I've had one week to think about it and yet I'm still not over it.
It's not surprising really, since you don't really see Seunghyun so weak and emotional that often. It's a rare occurrence really and when it does happen, you know something is terribly wrong.
I think of the actions we did and the words we said.
-Flashback-
"Stop acting as if you care, Ji. Stop acting as if you really want to comfort me. Stop doing this to me, Ji! Why can't you just leave me alone?! Go! You have Ri now, and I'm just left here to wallow in my misery! So just go back to your beloved one and leave me alone!" Seunghyun yelled at me with so many emotions laced in his voice it was hard to decipher it all. I was in complete shock. Why is he yelling at me? And then I feel this painful tightening like a strong grip within my chest, where my heart is supposed to be.
I become saddened. It hurt to think that he actually said that to me. I don't know why it hurt so much, but it just seemed to make my heart clench in pain and my stomach do some strange flip flops. Is that how he really feels? Does he really think that I don't care about him? Of course I do! I look at his face with that shocked expression on his face just like mine, coming to a realization about something.
He pushed me away as he said, "Just go, Ji. You have someone waiting for you downstairs." standing up in the process. At those words, I couldn't help but feel outraged. Here I am, trying to comfort him and all he does is push me away?!
And in a moment of silent anger, I do just as he says, going away just like he told me to. I clench my fists tightly together, but it doesn't help any. I feel tears prickling at the back of my eyes but I don't really know why I'm crying. There's nothing to cry over.
In a last moment of desperation to get him to open up to me, I tell him, "Fine, be that way. If you really don't want me here that badly, I'll go away." and as I say those words, I unintentionally let the pain and sad feelings I felt at the time seep into my voice. Because he was being so mean and distant it hurt.
It hadn't worked. I guess reverse psychology doesn't work all that well, huh?
I walk to the door, about to go down the flight of stairs leading to where Ri would be. That thought kind of seemed strange. I was exactly going to Ri, but it seemed as if I was being led to him.
I pause at the last second, only one step away from the door and my hand almost on the door knob. I had to know. Before I left him alone, I had to know why he was pushing me away so desperately.
"Why are you being so mean? Why can't you just let me comfort you? Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" I ask him with the voice of conviction but the tone of curiosity, if that would make any sense. I felt bitter. I stood in front of the door, waiting for his answer, for any sort of reply.
He stayed mainly silent except for one uttered sentence that doesn't really do much but make me even more aggravated. It explains nothing and it simply just puts the situation into that much more mystery.
"Because, Ji. Simply because." he tells me. I clench my fists again, trying to control my annoyance. I frown as I instead open the door to the flight of stairs, going down to where Ri would be. I try and get rid of that painful feeling in my chest as one tear escapes down my cheek. I quickly brush it away with my hand.
There's no reason to cry. There's no need to cry. I'll be seeing Ri soon. But I don't want to see him right now. I can't deal with the maknae right now. I won't go to Ri, Maybe I'll just take a walk around the block and sort my thoughts or something.
The door closes behind me as I continue to walk down the flight of stairs. I hear a soft thump and a sigh on the rooftop before it's drowned out by the sound of the TV and maknae and Dae Sung playing RTS video games.
- End Flashback-
I sigh and roll onto my back, these thoughts taking me nowhere but in an endless circle of confusion.
What a complicated mess.
I run a hand through my hair as I bite my lip in concentration, frowning lightly as I thought.
That day, I had wanted to go to the roof to get away from everything and simply have peace and quiet to think. To think about everything and anything. It was one of those times where I felt like questioning everything.
----------
A/N: Despite it not being completed, please comment? ^-^' Sorry if there are mistakes in here.