LET'S HEAR IT FOR NEW YORK!
WHAT IS MY LIFE?
photo by mer89
SO. I was lucky enough to accompany @mer89 as her guest to Kradison last night. I shall endeavor to recap the day for you all. I've included personal bits and line stories for people who want the ~full experience but have tried to organize it for people who want to skip to the relevant portions.
Getting ready:
I was feeling sort of fail in the morning, because I had forgotten part of my outfit back in Milwaukee, and bamberrific , whose house I was at in Maryland, is like ten sizes smaller than me cause she is a mouse so I couldn't borrow what I needed. Plus, my hair looked like Sue Sylvester. If I would have had a track suit I would have nonsensically went as sue sylvester. But lacking a track suit, I just re-wet it and went curly - it was like if Harpo Marx wore skinny jeans and high boots.
Traveling:
If I thought Milwaukee had the market cornered on bullshit winter weather, I had a rood awakening traveling the four hours with bamberrific and shoujokakumei up the coast to NYC. Other than a Roy Rodgers burger that was more dry than .... you know what, it was a fairly unremarkable journey. Best part was singing "Pick U Up" at the top of our lungs as we rounded the corridor on 95 and the New York skyline came into view. It sort of hit me right then that HOLY FUCK this was happening.
The Streets were Slightly Less Than Inspirational:
We reached the venue at about 1:00pm, and were about 40 people back from the front of the line. YAYAYA. Found out that some people had been waiting since THREE AM. HOLY. SHIT. Now even a cold weather veteran like me was having some trouble with the temperature over a prolonged period of time. Good thing there was a Starbucks in walking/hobbling distance. We were shortly joined by mer89 and kissoffools and formulated a plan of sending out parties to stay warm in starbucks while the others held a spot in line. Guys, it was Glambert central, which wasn't really surprising seeing as that they were there and fuck'o'clock in the afternoon. I've got a few fun stories about the line. Notable line personas were:
Senora RedBoa and friends who looked to be about 55 and was clad in a black wool coat and hat and some black ornamented flair pants, accented by a HUGE FUCKING RED BOA. The Feather variety, not the snake variety. I would have given her props for wearing a snake. And then called PETA on her for dying it red. And then chased Kris with it, cause, lol, snake. Her friends looked about her age, except for one girl who was maybe 16. She didn't look like anyone's daughter. LOL internet! Their entourage got bigger an bigger as the night went by, with the average age of it rising and rising every minute. I believe I spotted Shoulder Face Tattoo woman amidst their ranks. Near the end of the night, one of them triumphantly unfurrled a ADAM LAMBERT RED AND WHITE CAPE.
They also began signing a warbly-church lady version of Whataya Want From Me. I almost replied. "I WANT THE 25 OF YOU THAT JUST GOT HERE NOT CUT IN LINE AFTER I'VE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR 6 HOURS" but settled for rolling my eyes cause it's what Kris would do. In a way, they were even kind of cute in that awwwww, look at those ladies flashing back to their mid thirties when they relivied their teenage years for the first time kind of way. Kind of. Not very. Infact the more I think about it the less cute I think it is, it must have been the cold.
The Three Witches From MacBeth who were rather friendly if somewhat unfortunate. I almost feel bad for saying anything about them but you guys. Seriously. Double Bubble Toil and Trouble does not even begin to cover it. Also My guilt is lessened because upon hearing we liked ALL THREE of the performers, they said that they loved Allison and Adam and mumble mumble Kris Mumble. OIC >:[ So Mer and I launched into a loud, giggly conversation about how AMAZING Kris is and on and on. For those of you who don't know me, I'm a huge fan of both but I hate to see one maligned. Their moment in the ~sun ~came when A girl ran by the line saying "OMG I JUST SAW ADAAAAAAAM" One of the ladies let out a really loud, low pitched "uunnnnaaaagggghhhhhh" at the mere mention of His Name, which made me feel kind of uncomfortable. She was sitting on an abandoned grocery store pallat, and I really hope they don't ever use it again for food storage purposes.
Two Hot Benches Who Go Here: Ran into you guys at the Starbucks bathroom and talked to you about fanfic after you said you knew who I was. : D You didn't share your usernames but HAI BBS HAI.
CafePress Glambandits: Watch out, internet. The glamberts have progressed beyond Iron-On Transfers and puffy paint to make their very own custom T Shirts using cafe press. What's next, ZAZZLE? NO! One was sporting a rather ~ impressive tan Columbia sports jacket with Adam's face on all the zipper tabs and hood pulls.
CRAZY GLAMBERT WITH A HOOD OVER HER FACE AND BLACK LIPSTICK ON: SO WHEN I WENT TO STARBUCKS I LOLD CAUSE THIS GBERT BRUSHED PAST ME ON THE WAY OUT. I COULDN'T SEE HER FACE EXCEPT FOR THE BLACKISH GREEN LIPSTICK ON HER RATHER GENEROUS, PILLOWY LIPS. I LOLD AS SOON AS SHE LEFT THE STORE AND TOLD MER "GLAMBERT ALERT."
...
EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT THAT WAS TOTALLY ADAM. I FAIL SO HARD. SO. HARD. WHEN HE CAME ON STAGE WITH THAT LIPSTICK... YOU GUYS... I DIED. GLAMBERT ALERT INDEED. UGH. I SHOULD JUST KILL MYSELF RN.
Meeting Jim and Slezak!
Yeah. So by the time I got into the venue, my feet were solid blocks of ice. I wish I were joking. It was like beating a frozen chicken breast with a mallet, walking on those things. Once inside, we split into two groups. A few people went to the coat check while the rest of us went to get a spot. We ended up about 5th row slightly left of center, which was cool. Except we were right next to Senora Red Boa and her grandma Brigade and they kept shoving, shoving, shoving to get more space. I decided about then I needed a drink. So I went to get a rum and coke and turn around and spy Jim Cantiello. I go over to introduce myself to my twitter best friend and it was a fun-flaily experience. He introduced me to his very-pretty wife Jess and also Lyndsay Parker from Yahoo, which was cool. Michael Slezak walked by and i introduced myself. We ended up talking for a few minutes about Battlestar Galactica and how Idol eats your life.
About this time I started worrying about making my way back to our spot, so I waved to Jim and Jess and the five of us stragglers made a valient attempt to get back to the group. However, the concert pretty much started and it was impossible, so we retreated back to the corner with Jim and Slezak, which was conveniently located next to the bar. We were just behind Jim and Slezak - watching them bop next to each other in unison to Allison's set was so cute!.
Allison
Guys, Allison was so awesome. She looked amazing, as I am sure you can see from all the pictures, Sounded Amazing, which I am sure you can hear from all the vids, and was wonderfully self deprecating and funny. She flubbed lines and started a song in the wrong key, but it was kind of adorable and she recovered so well it didn't matter, and then made fun of her self in song. I am sure anyone that cares has seen it all already, but can I say that I was blown away. I really, really hope she gets a tour cause she is incredible live. Her songs are infectious. Robot Love was a standout, the whole crowd chanted HEY! when appropriate and fist-pumped. I'm surprised that she didn't open with that song, as the beginning of the set was more ballady. After her set, I leaned over to Slezak. "What did you think?" He looked back at me, mind totally blown. "I don't know if I can handle anything else!" :D
ADAM :
I got kind of nervous after allison because I know what Adam live does to me and it's not pretty. Shaking and crying doesn't really cover it. I'm like the hulk or something, except when I get all hopped up on Adam I turn into a glambert instead of a big green monster. I am surprised that I don't sweat glitter or something more tangible. The worst part is that I can see myself behaving in this manner but I am powerless to control it. So, I tweet nonsensically, I shriek, and I OMG all over in the place. It was infinitely amusing to YoBench, peanuttt , kodachrome621 , and cdbnyc who are big Krisberts to watch this happen to me but TBH I had a few drinks in me and didn't care anymore. Adam was fucking out of this world. He appeared on stage like some sort of glittery comic book villian. I can't say enough about his set. The only song that I thought could have gone better was Soaked, because he did a high note at the end that just...wasn't...up to his normal standards but literally everything else was so fucking amazing. Dare I say it was the best WLL EVER? IDEK. Talked to Slezak and he was like FEVER NEEDS TO BE A SINGLE LIKE YESTERDAY and we talked about how it would be a shame if that ~pronoun kept it off the air or from being popular. I danced lots with YoBench, who was very kind to accommodate my flail. His banter was also just hysterical. So many of his literal dance movies made me shriek with glee and clap delightedly - he's just fucking magic and that's all there is to it. I may have shouted "GIVE ME A NUMBER" at one point, but I'm gonna pretend that didn't happen. HE LET PEOPLE TOUCH HIS PEEN! HE LICKED SOMEONE! HE GYRATED AND FREAKED AND SHIMMIED AND I COMPLETELY CAN'T HANDLE IT. Lots of cute little tommy moments, lots of rocking out with Monte.
Kris:
Jesus! Andrew! Cale! Guy That Is Ryland's Brother that we call Ringo so the CRACK acronym still works! and of course, KRIS!!! I was so excited to see them! I know lots of people have gone back and forth about people leaving. I was in the back and there were a fair amount of people that left, but that was just fine by me because it meant out group got to creep closer to the front. Also, the crowd became much more cuddly rather than competitive and crushy. I enjoyed Kris's set very much, although in a completely different way than I enjoyed Adam's. I was glad Kris went after Adam, cause after the hard fucking that Adam dished out, I really was in need of a cuddle. The hardcore Adam fans that remained danced and bopped along with Kris, proving you CAN be fans of both. A lot of people did leave - since I was near the back I saw. At one point, a girl behind me called out "Go Back To Arkansas!" I whipped around and shot eye-daggers at her and I am pretty sure she slunk away cause I didn't hear any more bitchy ass things in my ears. I couldn't really stay mad though, because Kris passing out auditory pleasure like it was a dish of after-dinner mints did a lot to soothe me. At the end of Man In The Mirror, when kris pauses to let everyone sing "chaaaaaange" before he does, Jim sang it really loud and Kris goes "i see you, Jim! Thanks!" Halfway through the next song, Jim turns around and hands me an "IRL DM"
KRIM IS REAL!
Another fun moment was seeing my bff bamberrific up on stage for Alright With Me. Lucky Bench! Also, for falling slowly, cdbnyc had to like hold me cause it was so beautiful. I had never heard that song live before and my heart couldn't really contain my feelings at the moment. Red Guitar was spectacular. I defy anyone who has had a long-term relationship not to get misty eyed.
CRAAAAAZAAAAAY
I had been forewarned that there were plans that would "make everyone crap their pants and then die" but I had no idea how epic it would actually be.
At the end of LLWD, which I spent flailing with my benches and bopping up and down on my poor abused feet, Monte came out on stage and the opening riffs of "Crazy" started. For some reason, Kris thought he should turn around and slowly wiggle his butt to the music. Maybe he was waiting for some bubblewrap. But I exchanged raised eyebrows with several of my comrades and giggled. The crazy finale was...well, you've all seen it. Nutballs insane, epic, incredible. Adam LMAO: "sing along motherfuckers" I can't even handle him. My fave part was at the end, Adam walks behind Kris and sleps close as if to ~dance and then is like....OH WAIT. and sort of just stands there. Though really, can you get any more presh than this picture from mer89 ?
THEIR HEADS AND ADAM'S ELBOW EVEN MAKE A LOPSIDED HEART LIKE A GODDAMN WEDDING INVITATION I HATE MYSELF FOR THINKING THAT BUT I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE HOW PRECIOUS THEY ARE SOMEONE KILL ME PLZ.
Also when Allison left she was chanting POLLO LOCO (crazy chicken) IDEK but it was hysterical.
After the concert, we benches went out for pizza and soda, and all hugged and sniffled out goodbyes. What an awesome group of people! mer89 , blubberoddment , kissoffools , bamberrific , windandcoffee , gloriagloria , kodachrome621 , shoujokakumei, and Melinda, the woman that runs Top Idol. it was a crazy epic time.
I also met almostkind27 , murderaidx , fictionreality , and a few other benches whose usernames I've forgotten cause it was a crazy day. You guys were so cool and I wish we got to talk more! Next time!
So now I got back to my miserable real life! thanks to everyone that made this trip so epic (and for those of you who read, thanks for reading!!)