I Regret It
Title: I Regret It
Author: Seven... well, Me.
Rating: PG-13, maybe R.
Pairing: Implied!Billie Joe/Adrienne; Billie Joe/Tré
Disclaimer: Not real, don't sue. Fan Fiction.
Summary: Billie Joe gets so tangled in his emotions but doesn't want to express them. Once he does, is he satisfied?
Dedication:Ah, I'm dedicating this one to so_fuck7. That's the only reason I wrote this, afterall.
Notes: I really don't have much to say except that I'm not as pleased with this one as I was with my first one... We'll see. Comment as always! ^_^
I looked down at my scuffed shoes and took a shaky breath, "Tré, you have no fucking idea how many regrets I have."
"What kind of regrets could you possibly have? You have a beautiful wife, kids, a place to call home, the band. You have everything, man, you're on top of the fucking world, man."
"No Tré, you just don't fucking get it. You don't." I replied, standing up and moving to the back of the bus. You got up and turned to follow me, your navy eyes piercing into my back. You really didn't know, you had no idea that I loved somebody else, that I wanted to throw away what you called 'everything' and start over with somebody else.
"Then explain." You were always straight to the point like that, so simple. It made talking easy and quick, although painful. I almost smiled at your blatant remark but remembered, we were being serious.
"There's somebody else. It's not Adrienne anymore. I love another person." I barely whisper, my voice sounded foreign to me as I tried not to cry. I look back down at the floor, making sure you can't view how glazed over my eyes are with tears. You gently touch my arm, and it sends sparks running through my joints, all the way down to my toes and back.
"Who?" You ask me softly, your voice comforting and gentle. I'm not ready to tell you, or anyone for that matter. I want to keep it locked away forever, from Adrienne, from Mike, and mostly, from you.
I look away, hoping my words don't sound guilty to you, praying I sound the least bit innocent, "It's just not her, okay? I... I don't want to tell anybody until I'm really sure. I mean, really, really sure."
You nod, but I can see it in your eyes that you don't believe one word I just said, "Okay. Well, when you're ready to talk about it, I'll be here." You answer quickly, dismissing this from our conversation, "Want a beer?"
I nod gratefully, "Please. I want to fucking drink myself silly today."
"You can't do that," Sounds to me like you wish we could though, "We have a show tonight, Billie Joe."
"Not for, like, nine hours. We may be able to sober up by then." I shrug, just wanting to get the thought of another lover out of my mind.
You also shrug, "Good enough for me." You pull out a twelve pack and close the fridge.
----
As a couple hours passed, all the beers were gone. Your hand was tightly grasping your first bottle, still half full. I really didn't think anything of it, having taken down the remaining eleven bottles.
You leaned forward, towards me and signaled for me to come closer before whispering, "Who do you love instead of Adrienne?"
I felt a familiar spasm in my stomach, the feeling I got when I told Adrienne I wanted to marry her. Even with a fairly decent amount of alcohol running rapid through my system, I knew better than to tell you. I looked away and shook my head, "I'm not that drunk." I whispered, my throat temporarily closing up around the words I wanted so badly to say.
You lightly laid your fingers on my arm before trailing them up to leave them lightly settled on my lips, "You can tell me anything. I'm here for you. Besides, I already know the answer."
"You do?" I squeaked out hesitantly. You answered my question by leaning forward and kissing my forehead, and then my cheek and then crashing our lips together less than gracefully. I could taste the alcohol on your breath mingling with my own, a taste that can only be described as Tré. "You do." I assured myself.
During those few moments, we managed to remove each other's clothing completely and stood, naked, before each other. I raked my fingers through your hair and to the back of your head and sighed before planting my lips on your neck. You groaned in pleasure; a million new feelings touching my nerves. Feelings I could have never felt with Adrienne, you were giving me. Certain curves and ridges in our bodies melding together much better than I had ever melded with Adrienne.
You moved and sat on the long bench that adorned the side of our tour bus. I came forward and straddled you, brushing light kisses anywhere I could bend to reach. It was about then that we silently agreed to take this to the next level and just as we were getting up to get the needed accessories, a familiar face walked in.
"Oh my God!" Mike shrilled, covering his eyes, "What the fuck is this?"
I moved to grab my boxers and pulled them on, you doing the same. We sat down with a mortified Mike and confessed everything to him.
"Oh good Lord. I think we need to cancel our show tonight. I can't play in this condition. Gimma' a beer!" Was his only sarcastic remark before running out to find a local bar.
----
It's been six years since that night in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Still, I haven't told Adrienne. I don't know how we managed to keep it secret but I do know that you're not happy with it. Mike is the only one who knows and he's still not to sure about it. But now I look into your eyes after a wonderfully passionate night together. Our legs were tangled together in a mess of sheets. We were back in Grand Rapids, and we decided it was only necessary to "celebrate" our return to the town where it all began.
I knew by the worried look in your eyes that there was something you wanted to say, it was my turn to be blatant, "What's wrong, Tré?"
You sigh, a long sigh and look away, "Are you ever going to tell Adie about us?"
"Adrienne." I corrected. I had felt distant from her now that I had another relationship on the side and had discontinued the use of her nickname.
"Adrienne. Are ya' ever gonna' tell her?" Your eyes were pleading, the pools of blue that I would drown in if I wasn't careful.
"I just can't. I can't do it."
"What if I told you that you didn't have to?"
"I'd tell you that was horseshit. You and I both know it has to happen eventually."
"You don't have to." You said quietly.
"Yes, Tré, I do."
"No. You don't." You whisper, reaching around under the bunk for something.
"And why not?"
"I already did. Happy annivesary." You answered, handing me the papers that would officially end my marriage to Adrienne, her neat, curling signature already placed at the bottom. A tear slid down my cheek and I grinned as much as I could at the realization that once my name was on the dotted line, I wouldn't be bound to the only one I though I would ever love anymore. You handed me a pen, and with a shaky hand I signed my name sloppily.
When I was done, I gulped and looked at you, tears staining both of our cheeks. You smiled lightly and kissed me, pulling back, you opened your mouth to speak.
"So, now that it's official," You seemed nervous and awkward, "Will," You cleared your throat, "Will you marry me?"
"Fuck yes!" I screamed hugging you and planting a kiss on your shoulder. You grinned into my shoulder and pulled back.
"Congrats, you guys." Mike's voice rang through the curtain that seperated us from the rest of the world, "Congrats."
You turned back to me, "So now you have no more regrets, right?"
"Wrong."
You perked your eyebrow, "Wrong?"
"I regret not telling you I loved you sooner."
Rifinito.
----
Yes? No? Better? Worse? I'm not quite as proud of this one, but I do like it.
Author: Seven... well, Me.
Rating: PG-13, maybe R.
Pairing: Implied!Billie Joe/Adrienne; Billie Joe/Tré
Disclaimer: Not real, don't sue. Fan Fiction.
Summary: Billie Joe gets so tangled in his emotions but doesn't want to express them. Once he does, is he satisfied?
Dedication:Ah, I'm dedicating this one to so_fuck7. That's the only reason I wrote this, afterall.
Notes: I really don't have much to say except that I'm not as pleased with this one as I was with my first one... We'll see. Comment as always! ^_^
I looked down at my scuffed shoes and took a shaky breath, "Tré, you have no fucking idea how many regrets I have."
"What kind of regrets could you possibly have? You have a beautiful wife, kids, a place to call home, the band. You have everything, man, you're on top of the fucking world, man."
"No Tré, you just don't fucking get it. You don't." I replied, standing up and moving to the back of the bus. You got up and turned to follow me, your navy eyes piercing into my back. You really didn't know, you had no idea that I loved somebody else, that I wanted to throw away what you called 'everything' and start over with somebody else.
"Then explain." You were always straight to the point like that, so simple. It made talking easy and quick, although painful. I almost smiled at your blatant remark but remembered, we were being serious.
"There's somebody else. It's not Adrienne anymore. I love another person." I barely whisper, my voice sounded foreign to me as I tried not to cry. I look back down at the floor, making sure you can't view how glazed over my eyes are with tears. You gently touch my arm, and it sends sparks running through my joints, all the way down to my toes and back.
"Who?" You ask me softly, your voice comforting and gentle. I'm not ready to tell you, or anyone for that matter. I want to keep it locked away forever, from Adrienne, from Mike, and mostly, from you.
I look away, hoping my words don't sound guilty to you, praying I sound the least bit innocent, "It's just not her, okay? I... I don't want to tell anybody until I'm really sure. I mean, really, really sure."
You nod, but I can see it in your eyes that you don't believe one word I just said, "Okay. Well, when you're ready to talk about it, I'll be here." You answer quickly, dismissing this from our conversation, "Want a beer?"
I nod gratefully, "Please. I want to fucking drink myself silly today."
"You can't do that," Sounds to me like you wish we could though, "We have a show tonight, Billie Joe."
"Not for, like, nine hours. We may be able to sober up by then." I shrug, just wanting to get the thought of another lover out of my mind.
You also shrug, "Good enough for me." You pull out a twelve pack and close the fridge.
----
As a couple hours passed, all the beers were gone. Your hand was tightly grasping your first bottle, still half full. I really didn't think anything of it, having taken down the remaining eleven bottles.
You leaned forward, towards me and signaled for me to come closer before whispering, "Who do you love instead of Adrienne?"
I felt a familiar spasm in my stomach, the feeling I got when I told Adrienne I wanted to marry her. Even with a fairly decent amount of alcohol running rapid through my system, I knew better than to tell you. I looked away and shook my head, "I'm not that drunk." I whispered, my throat temporarily closing up around the words I wanted so badly to say.
You lightly laid your fingers on my arm before trailing them up to leave them lightly settled on my lips, "You can tell me anything. I'm here for you. Besides, I already know the answer."
"You do?" I squeaked out hesitantly. You answered my question by leaning forward and kissing my forehead, and then my cheek and then crashing our lips together less than gracefully. I could taste the alcohol on your breath mingling with my own, a taste that can only be described as Tré. "You do." I assured myself.
During those few moments, we managed to remove each other's clothing completely and stood, naked, before each other. I raked my fingers through your hair and to the back of your head and sighed before planting my lips on your neck. You groaned in pleasure; a million new feelings touching my nerves. Feelings I could have never felt with Adrienne, you were giving me. Certain curves and ridges in our bodies melding together much better than I had ever melded with Adrienne.
You moved and sat on the long bench that adorned the side of our tour bus. I came forward and straddled you, brushing light kisses anywhere I could bend to reach. It was about then that we silently agreed to take this to the next level and just as we were getting up to get the needed accessories, a familiar face walked in.
"Oh my God!" Mike shrilled, covering his eyes, "What the fuck is this?"
I moved to grab my boxers and pulled them on, you doing the same. We sat down with a mortified Mike and confessed everything to him.
"Oh good Lord. I think we need to cancel our show tonight. I can't play in this condition. Gimma' a beer!" Was his only sarcastic remark before running out to find a local bar.
----
It's been six years since that night in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Still, I haven't told Adrienne. I don't know how we managed to keep it secret but I do know that you're not happy with it. Mike is the only one who knows and he's still not to sure about it. But now I look into your eyes after a wonderfully passionate night together. Our legs were tangled together in a mess of sheets. We were back in Grand Rapids, and we decided it was only necessary to "celebrate" our return to the town where it all began.
I knew by the worried look in your eyes that there was something you wanted to say, it was my turn to be blatant, "What's wrong, Tré?"
You sigh, a long sigh and look away, "Are you ever going to tell Adie about us?"
"Adrienne." I corrected. I had felt distant from her now that I had another relationship on the side and had discontinued the use of her nickname.
"Adrienne. Are ya' ever gonna' tell her?" Your eyes were pleading, the pools of blue that I would drown in if I wasn't careful.
"I just can't. I can't do it."
"What if I told you that you didn't have to?"
"I'd tell you that was horseshit. You and I both know it has to happen eventually."
"You don't have to." You said quietly.
"Yes, Tré, I do."
"No. You don't." You whisper, reaching around under the bunk for something.
"And why not?"
"I already did. Happy annivesary." You answered, handing me the papers that would officially end my marriage to Adrienne, her neat, curling signature already placed at the bottom. A tear slid down my cheek and I grinned as much as I could at the realization that once my name was on the dotted line, I wouldn't be bound to the only one I though I would ever love anymore. You handed me a pen, and with a shaky hand I signed my name sloppily.
When I was done, I gulped and looked at you, tears staining both of our cheeks. You smiled lightly and kissed me, pulling back, you opened your mouth to speak.
"So, now that it's official," You seemed nervous and awkward, "Will," You cleared your throat, "Will you marry me?"
"Fuck yes!" I screamed hugging you and planting a kiss on your shoulder. You grinned into my shoulder and pulled back.
"Congrats, you guys." Mike's voice rang through the curtain that seperated us from the rest of the world, "Congrats."
You turned back to me, "So now you have no more regrets, right?"
"Wrong."
You perked your eyebrow, "Wrong?"
"I regret not telling you I loved you sooner."
Rifinito.
----
Yes? No? Better? Worse? I'm not quite as proud of this one, but I do like it.