(emo!)te
soooo, i'm a week past ending a 5ish month relationship. break up was mutual. not what i wanted or what i want, but it's what needed to happen. we'll still be friends, which is better than nothing overall. and it's actually been relatively easily to fall back to that, since we started off as friends. but it's also been really hard. there are good days, bad days, bad weeks.
retrospectively, i'm really glad september is over. it sucked. aside from visits from alicia, ben and laura and seeing my family this past weekend in chicago, it sucked. some of the my lowest lows i think, and yes, good times as well. but still. eh. haven't been sleeping well, appetite has fallen off, generally sad and tired. it'll pass, it always does. i just don't understand why it's taking so fraking long. >_<
i've got a busy couple of weekends coming up, this one and the next. i think after that though, i need to take some time for myself. detox from constantly having to do stuff, and instead, do nothing. chill. maybe sit in a park or in the library all day and read. i hate the idea of not having something to do though, and sometimes i feel like i have so much going on in my head that it's going to explode, and then my brain just goes numb and thinks of static instead. this isn't something where i'm like "oh, i'm the only one who feels like this" because everyone gets overwhelmed at different points. i dunno. i just, hm. maybe i should see someone? i dunno. it's been suggested, just as a sort of outlet, but i think that's what friends are for. i don't think there's any advice that anyone could give me, professional or otherwise, at the moment that i would really take to heart. sleep will help though, i think. i need to recoup that like no other. i'm doing habitat for humanity this weekend though, and i'm doing another volunteer thing next weekend as well, and then sundays are always taken up with soccer. meh. we'll see. maybe i should try a new sport. eh. i dunno. i just want to feel... better. or at least better than this, haha.
>_
retrospectively, i'm really glad september is over. it sucked. aside from visits from alicia, ben and laura and seeing my family this past weekend in chicago, it sucked. some of the my lowest lows i think, and yes, good times as well. but still. eh. haven't been sleeping well, appetite has fallen off, generally sad and tired. it'll pass, it always does. i just don't understand why it's taking so fraking long. >_<
i've got a busy couple of weekends coming up, this one and the next. i think after that though, i need to take some time for myself. detox from constantly having to do stuff, and instead, do nothing. chill. maybe sit in a park or in the library all day and read. i hate the idea of not having something to do though, and sometimes i feel like i have so much going on in my head that it's going to explode, and then my brain just goes numb and thinks of static instead. this isn't something where i'm like "oh, i'm the only one who feels like this" because everyone gets overwhelmed at different points. i dunno. i just, hm. maybe i should see someone? i dunno. it's been suggested, just as a sort of outlet, but i think that's what friends are for. i don't think there's any advice that anyone could give me, professional or otherwise, at the moment that i would really take to heart. sleep will help though, i think. i need to recoup that like no other. i'm doing habitat for humanity this weekend though, and i'm doing another volunteer thing next weekend as well, and then sundays are always taken up with soccer. meh. we'll see. maybe i should try a new sport. eh. i dunno. i just want to feel... better. or at least better than this, haha.
>_