"These are the words that tear us apart"
So tonight before I retire for the evening, I feel like I should update this... and while I'm at it, make it public.
Jenny's memorial service today was the hardest event I've been to. Ever. I was fine until I walked in the door, and saw all of the pictures of her from her childhood, and her senior pictures.. graduation pictures.. family pictures. It was so heartbreaking. I started crying then, and didn't stop until the service was over. Seeing Jenny's mom cry, and her boyfriend cry, and everyone around me crying.. was life-altering. I am so thankful that I was able to call her my best friend for 2 years. She was so beautiful, and loved making everyone laugh. She wasn't happy until you were happy. She was such a strong and charismatic young woman, and I loved her a lot. When she had cancer, the only way she looked was up. That takes a lot. This man sang "I hope you dance" by LeeAnne Wommack. It was beautiful. The church was beautiful. The reception was beautiful. The pastor said, that although we have lost a friend, we have gained an angel.
Rest in Peace Jennifer LeeAnne Stewart. I love you.
After a long 3 hours at work, and on/off crying, I asked to leave a little bit early. My eyes were (and still are) really swollen, and it hurts to keep them open. Jimmie granted me my request, and so after I finished with the bathrooms, I left. On my way home I was thinking about Jenny & I started to cry some more. The car in front of me needed to get into the left lane, but there was a van beside him. So he slowed down (and I slowed down) so that he could get over. Well, then this black eclipse beside me decided that she didn't want to wait or slow down due to the car that had just merged, so she proceeded to merge into me. I slammed on breaks/my horn/and swerved into the turn lane to keep from getting hit. For those of you who know how much road rage I have, I sped up, tailed her, and turned on my brights. So then she slams on breaks, and I slam on my horn. Then she speeds up, I speed up, turn on my brights, and she slams on breaks again. So right before she made her left-hand turn into a neighborhood, she slams on breaks one more time, and I just barely missed her. Even though, yes, that would've been my fault... but I still couldn't help but think about what if she had hit me earlier? Then I would've been hit from the side and behind, because there had been a truck behind me. I could be seriously injured right now, or even dead. My car really isn't that big. It shook me up really bad.
So all of today's events got me thinking about how I love each and every one of my friends & family. Although things may not always go the way I hope for them to go, I still want everyone to know how I feel. I would hate to leave on a bad note, or even have someone close to me pass away knowing the last words we shared were ones of disrespect & hurt. I love you all. Despite arguements, disagreements, fights, whatever. It's not worth it. I love you.
Jenny's memorial service today was the hardest event I've been to. Ever. I was fine until I walked in the door, and saw all of the pictures of her from her childhood, and her senior pictures.. graduation pictures.. family pictures. It was so heartbreaking. I started crying then, and didn't stop until the service was over. Seeing Jenny's mom cry, and her boyfriend cry, and everyone around me crying.. was life-altering. I am so thankful that I was able to call her my best friend for 2 years. She was so beautiful, and loved making everyone laugh. She wasn't happy until you were happy. She was such a strong and charismatic young woman, and I loved her a lot. When she had cancer, the only way she looked was up. That takes a lot. This man sang "I hope you dance" by LeeAnne Wommack. It was beautiful. The church was beautiful. The reception was beautiful. The pastor said, that although we have lost a friend, we have gained an angel.
Rest in Peace Jennifer LeeAnne Stewart. I love you.
After a long 3 hours at work, and on/off crying, I asked to leave a little bit early. My eyes were (and still are) really swollen, and it hurts to keep them open. Jimmie granted me my request, and so after I finished with the bathrooms, I left. On my way home I was thinking about Jenny & I started to cry some more. The car in front of me needed to get into the left lane, but there was a van beside him. So he slowed down (and I slowed down) so that he could get over. Well, then this black eclipse beside me decided that she didn't want to wait or slow down due to the car that had just merged, so she proceeded to merge into me. I slammed on breaks/my horn/and swerved into the turn lane to keep from getting hit. For those of you who know how much road rage I have, I sped up, tailed her, and turned on my brights. So then she slams on breaks, and I slam on my horn. Then she speeds up, I speed up, turn on my brights, and she slams on breaks again. So right before she made her left-hand turn into a neighborhood, she slams on breaks one more time, and I just barely missed her. Even though, yes, that would've been my fault... but I still couldn't help but think about what if she had hit me earlier? Then I would've been hit from the side and behind, because there had been a truck behind me. I could be seriously injured right now, or even dead. My car really isn't that big. It shook me up really bad.
So all of today's events got me thinking about how I love each and every one of my friends & family. Although things may not always go the way I hope for them to go, I still want everyone to know how I feel. I would hate to leave on a bad note, or even have someone close to me pass away knowing the last words we shared were ones of disrespect & hurt. I love you all. Despite arguements, disagreements, fights, whatever. It's not worth it. I love you.