Ku7
A/N:
Sweden reference brought to you by IceSnowAndGlamour who suggested it. For some reason this fic has the most APH characters than anything else I wrote lol. =w= Belarus and the Asian siblings will make a brief appearance later….
China gave himself one final glance in the men’s bathroom mirror and smiled, allowing for a moment a look of triumphant to grace his features. “Perfect.”
He only had a brief look at England’s fake stomach but that was all he needed to make an identical copy. He wasn’t the world’s number one mass producer for nothing.
China pursed his lips as he smoothed out an non-existent wrinkle from his round belly. The material was much heavier than he had imagined. The vest itself was made of light fabric, but it matter not since the gelatin made most of the weight. How could England bare to wear this? China was only pretending to be a month or two pregnant meaning only a light bulge was needed but already the small bulge was hurting his back. And England wants a few more months?!
Shaking his head slightly, China let out a long-suffering sigh. The things pregnant men had to do. When- and not if- Russia figured out he was never with child to begin with…China paled from the thought. He wouldn’t be able to sit for days and might even need a wheelchair to get around. Yes, prolonging this might be the best idea. It might have been for revenge at first but now it was for basic survival.
Maybe toning down on the torture would make Russia less…rough later on, China thought as he reached for the door. However, pondering on it again, it was Russia’s adorable crying face that would make all the suffering he would go through all worth it. Decisions, decisions….
“ ‘llo, Yao.” Sweden’s looming face greeted China the moment he opened the door.
China clutched his heart pounding heart. “B-Berwald! Wh-why are you standing in front of the men’s bathroom a-aru? Wh-where’s Ivan?” China stuttered every few words, still startled by Sweden’s sudden appearance. And people thought Russia was scary….
“I’m here, Yao-Yao.” Russia waved at China from his seat. “Are you done using the bathroom?”
China nodded stiffly. Keeping a wary eye on the Swedish nation, China slowly began edging away from him before making a dash towards Russia’s side.
“I thought I told you to keep people away from the restroom while I was inside aru!” China whispered viciously in an effort to disguise the relief he felt in Russia’s presence.
“Ah well, Berwald was asking me a question and I didn’t know the answer so I told him to ask you~” Russia said sweetly, trying to loosen the death grip China had on his coat.
“A question?” China asked, “What kind of question aru?”
“You see, since we’ve been coming here for a week now, Berwald finally found out about our secret,” Russia happily announced.
China couldn’t decide: did he want to die from embarrassment or pure horror that another nation found out. “A-and?” China grounded out between his teeth.
“So he wanted to find out how you got pregnant.” Russia continued to smile. “He went and asked America first, but you know how he is. He told Sweden here to get abducted by aliens. How stupid is that?”
Sweat started to run down China’s back. If Russia finds out now, he was going to kill the idiotic blond couple and then himself. “Y-yeah. S-stupid aru.”
Russia suddenly hugged China and nuzzled into his hair . “So he came to find us. When you were inside, he asked me how did we finally get a child.” He lifted his head to stare quizzically into China’s panic stricken eyes. “But you know…I honestly don’t know.”
“Ah ha ha,” China laughed nervously, “I told you before didn’t I aru?”
China turned away before Russia could reply and turned to Sweden, “Why do you want to know aru? This isn’t because you’re afraid Russia and I are going to introduce a new nation are you? Rest assured-“
“ ‘inland.” Sweden interrupted China.
“Can you say that again aru?”
“ M’ wife, Finland. I want to start a f’mily too.”
China’s eyes grew wide. “Oh”
He cleared this throat, “But…uh…don’t you already have Sealand aru….”
“Want m’re.”
“….”
China grabbed onto Russia’s hand and waddled away as fast as he could, yelling back to the Swedish nation, “Alien abduction aru! Anal probe! Sure fire way to work aru! Good luck to you and Finland aru!”
A/N:
Lol, still light-hearted because I can’t imagine turning the Sweden part into heartache. Working on the next two chapters now. Will be posted later tonight (maybe).