xUsed.Again.But.Nothings.Differenttx
So, I was gonna write another emo-rific entry lastnight, but instead I saved it for today.
Spacing out my drama.
I would tell him so much if he were around right now. But probably by the time he comes around again, my words would have vanished. They always do. When I need them most. I'm such a loser. A failure. A mistake.
Something happened lastnight and I reacted in a way that I really shouldn't have. I mean, I knew it was coming for a long time. But I guess, I was just holding on to a fantasy that maybe someday I would mean a little more to a certain someone. And now I realize that it was nothing more than a convience factor. I'm an easy girl who is a sucker for guys who say pretty things. For guys who give me a place to sleep when I can't. For guys who keep me holding on with that mystery in there eyes. Oh, such a sucker.
Sometimes, I think that's all I'll ever be to guys. That girl they call up at 2am because they are drunk and they know I'll be awake. And they know I'll get dressed and come over. I fall for it everytime.
((I want a boy who's too drunk to talk))
I've got this constant urge to be needed. To be wanted. And to know it. I want to fall and not end up appologizing in the end. I want someone in my life that when I hold their hand everything feels okay.
I want to fall in love.
But it's funny that I say that....
But anyway... So lastnight.... I left here around 11pm. And I just walked around campus in the rain. Headphones blaring. Tears streaming. Makeup running.
Me and Jen were texting eachother back and forth. I know I say this all the time, but that girl is amazing. And I honestly don't know what I would do without her. She calms me down when I'm being irrational. And tells me that Ebay won't let me sell my heart to someone else. She makes me strong.
I got back here around 1230. And I felt so much better. Sat down and wrote my English paper.
Today I was okay. It was so springish outside. Made me smile to be able to walk outside in a hoodie.
Maybe, I've got some things wrong. But hell, I wouldn't know.
She prays for days
When boys mean she's protected
And she wants someone to see her
She needs to hear she's beautiful
x.Something.Corporate.x
Spacing out my drama.
I would tell him so much if he were around right now. But probably by the time he comes around again, my words would have vanished. They always do. When I need them most. I'm such a loser. A failure. A mistake.
Something happened lastnight and I reacted in a way that I really shouldn't have. I mean, I knew it was coming for a long time. But I guess, I was just holding on to a fantasy that maybe someday I would mean a little more to a certain someone. And now I realize that it was nothing more than a convience factor. I'm an easy girl who is a sucker for guys who say pretty things. For guys who give me a place to sleep when I can't. For guys who keep me holding on with that mystery in there eyes. Oh, such a sucker.
Sometimes, I think that's all I'll ever be to guys. That girl they call up at 2am because they are drunk and they know I'll be awake. And they know I'll get dressed and come over. I fall for it everytime.
((I want a boy who's too drunk to talk))
I've got this constant urge to be needed. To be wanted. And to know it. I want to fall and not end up appologizing in the end. I want someone in my life that when I hold their hand everything feels okay.
I want to fall in love.
But it's funny that I say that....
But anyway... So lastnight.... I left here around 11pm. And I just walked around campus in the rain. Headphones blaring. Tears streaming. Makeup running.
Me and Jen were texting eachother back and forth. I know I say this all the time, but that girl is amazing. And I honestly don't know what I would do without her. She calms me down when I'm being irrational. And tells me that Ebay won't let me sell my heart to someone else. She makes me strong.
I got back here around 1230. And I felt so much better. Sat down and wrote my English paper.
Today I was okay. It was so springish outside. Made me smile to be able to walk outside in a hoodie.
Maybe, I've got some things wrong. But hell, I wouldn't know.
She prays for days
When boys mean she's protected
And she wants someone to see her
She needs to hear she's beautiful
x.Something.Corporate.x