(no subject)
some pictures are up on runing_out_of_u . so yeah. check them out.
and today has been horrible. i woke up and started on my english project for extra credit and i have been working on it for like 5 hours.... how the hell does an extra credit project take someone that long? but yeah i'm gonna start studying for finals later... maybe my mom wont make me go to school tomorrow and i can study for finals.... today i just exploded when i realized how much i hated emily ( my step sister) i honestly never want to see her ever fucking again. it's like getting in a huge fight with your best friends when she backstabes you in the back a thousand times and then talks shit about you. AHHH. honestly,... this whole entry is gonna be pissyness so if you dont' wanna hear it,... don't read it. cuzi 'm not gonna take comments that bash me. so whatever.
so all my sisters ratted me out for weed and drinking and stuff.( back in december ) and honestly... i just wanna scream because the only one who had ANY reason to was lauren. my real sister. she is a good little girl who doesn't drink or smoke but emily and liz get drunk and stonned every weekend and fsdkajfsdhlf ahhH!! they are fucking hypocits (sp?) and i fucking hate them. and emily got caught a while ago for weed but she got caught on her own. and you know what. i was happy. but then they never put any of her fucking rules into place... ah i want out of this family. and now she just got ungrounded and the second she got ungrounded she got all of her privledges back! fuck her. when i was grounded i sucked up... did chores... cleaned for no reason... was nice... hid all my feelings..and she screams and back talks and doesn't do SHIT and she doesn't get any rules put into place. fucking unfair. beyond unfair. and my mom tried telling me it was because emily has problems... what mom... fucking slitting my wrists isn't a fucking problem!? just because emily has to bitch about every little thing she gets away from grounded when i hold it all in which is ten times worse... and i get fucking jipped!? fuck that.
i want out.
and today i cut for the first time in oh god knows how long. and it was all because of that bitch. i have never been more upset. i think everything just started piling up and then just the littlest thing made it all blow up. and i don't even know if i make any sence but i don't care. and ah . i never want to see her fucking face ever again.
you don't think about where to start, or why your doing it. you just take that knife and slash it across your flesh.