(no subject)
Recap of Yesterday('s Feelings):
Payton came over. We walked to the corner of Litchfield Ln. and awaited the arrival of Jenn and Michelle to pick us up off of the corner and go with them to Michelle's apartment. We were in search of From Hell. We couldn't find it so we headed back to Jenn's and called Dakota and then decided to watch Chocolat. Jenn's mom, Mary, told us to eat dinner with them. So, we did. It was good. Then, we returned to the couches downstairs and finished the movie. Payton kept touching my knee caps when he knows I hate knee caps. That made me mad. I wasn't rubbing my foot against him, so why would he do that? Gah. Oh well... I am over it... kind of.
I called my mother at 9 and told her we were going to walk home, she said alright see you in a bit. We walked out and it started to drizzle. I was so happy. I love the rain. We stopped at the park and sat on the swings for a bit then headed off towards my home. While we were on Cambridge, my father called me and told me he was picking us up. So, I was like alright... and I kept trying to make excuses for him to let us walk home and not drop off Payton. He wouldn't buy it. That angered me a bit. I really wanted to walk in the rain.
After dropping off Payton we went to Blockbuster and rented Hide and Seek (I have already seen this movie.) and went home to watch it. During the previews of this movie my parents took the time to tell me that they thought I was returning to my old ways. What the hell?! They said I seemed much happier when I was with Ethan. I wore brighter colors. I was on the right track again. I just looked at them dumbfoundedly. I couldn't believe what they were saying. It's not like I dumped Ethan. He dumped me. My mom was like, "Don't get me wrong, I like Payton a lot. He is a really good kid but, I am scared of school for you. You keep changing. We think you should take a break from dating for a bit because you need to evolve as your own person. Instead of being like everyone else." I was so pissed from this point on. I wanted to murder everyone in my household. What the fuck!? I am NOT like everyone else. I am the fartherest thing from that. I mean, I am Katlan. I remained calm and just responded to all of this nonsense like this: "I am very happy still. You guys are only saying this because Ethan looked like a little preppy boy and had good grades. Mom I know you are very judgemental when it comes to looks but just because someone paints their nails black and wears darker clothes doesn't mean they are unhappy. That is just how they want to look. I am going to do fine in school and this time I am not going to let anyone bring me down and let me fail. I have a good head on my shoulders. I am like no other. I am not like any girl at my school or guy for that matter. You don't have to worry about me being like everyone else." And... that was the end of that conversation. We remained quiet throughout the movie because nobody agreed with me and I didn't agree with them.
Payton called me from his cell (Oh yeah! Payton got a cell phone! Whoo hoo! Congratulations!) and told me he was going to be outside of my house in two seconds. So, I told my parents, walked outside and there he was. We talked and he kept trying to take gay pictures of me. I hate pictures of me. I remained calm. I didn't want to spoil his happiness with my stupid problems.
Sorry, to everyone. I have been so quiet lately. I am always in thought. I am just frustrated with many things.
This morning:
My mom was being a mother fucker this morning. So, then my dad was being a mother fucker this morning. Now, I am being a motherfucker this morning. I cannot take anymore of their bullshit. I am not used to this anymore. I am not used to fighting with them. So, this little bit of arguing is killing me. I know it sounds ridiculous but that is how I feel. I had to have been yelled at over 20 times this morning, and this morning alone. I hate being yelled at for no reason. I can understand being yelled at when I am a stupid little girl. After cleaning the whole morning, I walked downstairs to grab some more cleaning material to clean the bathrooms and my brother kept yelling my name so I turned around and yelled, "Stop yelling my name!" and my mom was like Ryan, leave your sister alone, she is cranky this morning. I turned around and I swear my face was purple. My mom was like, what? I went off on her about how if she is unhappy then everybody has to be unhappy. She is always beinging everyone down. Once, everyone I am really upset about it then everyone goes back to being happy except me because I don't just pretend nothing happens like the rest of my family. So, I go upstairs without hearing what she has to say and I heard talking to my dad. "Ever since she started dating this guy, she has been really bitchy." and a bunch of nonsense like that. I haven't yelled or been unhappy for a long time. Except today. I always wear bright colors. I am the most colorful person ever. I hate when they fucking do this. Everytime it is not some preppy, straight A student, who is a great person with family and friends and such my parents get this idea that the person is an unhappy fuck. Jesus fucking Christ.
Sorry Payton. Do not take any of this personally. It is just my parents. They are ass holes. They like you a lot but they think you are going to bring me down in school. We will show them wrong. Those mother fuckers are going down. Gah.
Well, I am off to a wake and then I am going on vacation. I don't think I have any nice black 'dress' clothes. My dad said he didn't want me to be out with my friends today because he would rather see me clean. Sorry again Payton. My parents are such cock sluts sometimes.
Katlan.
PS! I will miss you all. Leave me lots of comments, PLEASE!
Payton came over. We walked to the corner of Litchfield Ln. and awaited the arrival of Jenn and Michelle to pick us up off of the corner and go with them to Michelle's apartment. We were in search of From Hell. We couldn't find it so we headed back to Jenn's and called Dakota and then decided to watch Chocolat. Jenn's mom, Mary, told us to eat dinner with them. So, we did. It was good. Then, we returned to the couches downstairs and finished the movie. Payton kept touching my knee caps when he knows I hate knee caps. That made me mad. I wasn't rubbing my foot against him, so why would he do that? Gah. Oh well... I am over it... kind of.
I called my mother at 9 and told her we were going to walk home, she said alright see you in a bit. We walked out and it started to drizzle. I was so happy. I love the rain. We stopped at the park and sat on the swings for a bit then headed off towards my home. While we were on Cambridge, my father called me and told me he was picking us up. So, I was like alright... and I kept trying to make excuses for him to let us walk home and not drop off Payton. He wouldn't buy it. That angered me a bit. I really wanted to walk in the rain.
After dropping off Payton we went to Blockbuster and rented Hide and Seek (I have already seen this movie.) and went home to watch it. During the previews of this movie my parents took the time to tell me that they thought I was returning to my old ways. What the hell?! They said I seemed much happier when I was with Ethan. I wore brighter colors. I was on the right track again. I just looked at them dumbfoundedly. I couldn't believe what they were saying. It's not like I dumped Ethan. He dumped me. My mom was like, "Don't get me wrong, I like Payton a lot. He is a really good kid but, I am scared of school for you. You keep changing. We think you should take a break from dating for a bit because you need to evolve as your own person. Instead of being like everyone else." I was so pissed from this point on. I wanted to murder everyone in my household. What the fuck!? I am NOT like everyone else. I am the fartherest thing from that. I mean, I am Katlan. I remained calm and just responded to all of this nonsense like this: "I am very happy still. You guys are only saying this because Ethan looked like a little preppy boy and had good grades. Mom I know you are very judgemental when it comes to looks but just because someone paints their nails black and wears darker clothes doesn't mean they are unhappy. That is just how they want to look. I am going to do fine in school and this time I am not going to let anyone bring me down and let me fail. I have a good head on my shoulders. I am like no other. I am not like any girl at my school or guy for that matter. You don't have to worry about me being like everyone else." And... that was the end of that conversation. We remained quiet throughout the movie because nobody agreed with me and I didn't agree with them.
Payton called me from his cell (Oh yeah! Payton got a cell phone! Whoo hoo! Congratulations!) and told me he was going to be outside of my house in two seconds. So, I told my parents, walked outside and there he was. We talked and he kept trying to take gay pictures of me. I hate pictures of me. I remained calm. I didn't want to spoil his happiness with my stupid problems.
Sorry, to everyone. I have been so quiet lately. I am always in thought. I am just frustrated with many things.
This morning:
My mom was being a mother fucker this morning. So, then my dad was being a mother fucker this morning. Now, I am being a motherfucker this morning. I cannot take anymore of their bullshit. I am not used to this anymore. I am not used to fighting with them. So, this little bit of arguing is killing me. I know it sounds ridiculous but that is how I feel. I had to have been yelled at over 20 times this morning, and this morning alone. I hate being yelled at for no reason. I can understand being yelled at when I am a stupid little girl. After cleaning the whole morning, I walked downstairs to grab some more cleaning material to clean the bathrooms and my brother kept yelling my name so I turned around and yelled, "Stop yelling my name!" and my mom was like Ryan, leave your sister alone, she is cranky this morning. I turned around and I swear my face was purple. My mom was like, what? I went off on her about how if she is unhappy then everybody has to be unhappy. She is always beinging everyone down. Once, everyone I am really upset about it then everyone goes back to being happy except me because I don't just pretend nothing happens like the rest of my family. So, I go upstairs without hearing what she has to say and I heard talking to my dad. "Ever since she started dating this guy, she has been really bitchy." and a bunch of nonsense like that. I haven't yelled or been unhappy for a long time. Except today. I always wear bright colors. I am the most colorful person ever. I hate when they fucking do this. Everytime it is not some preppy, straight A student, who is a great person with family and friends and such my parents get this idea that the person is an unhappy fuck. Jesus fucking Christ.
Sorry Payton. Do not take any of this personally. It is just my parents. They are ass holes. They like you a lot but they think you are going to bring me down in school. We will show them wrong. Those mother fuckers are going down. Gah.
Well, I am off to a wake and then I am going on vacation. I don't think I have any nice black 'dress' clothes. My dad said he didn't want me to be out with my friends today because he would rather see me clean. Sorry again Payton. My parents are such cock sluts sometimes.
Katlan.
PS! I will miss you all. Leave me lots of comments, PLEASE!