Maybe if we think & wish & hope & pray it might come true...
There once was a time
Which is hard to recall,
When high was a bird
And round was a ball.
When long was an hour
And big was a tree,
And there wasn't a thing
More important than me.
Now high is in light years
And round is the world,
And long is eternity's
Ages unfurled.
Now big is the universe
Dwarfing our sky....
It seems everything's growing
Much faster than I.
As cheesy as that poem sounds, it made me cry. I can't bring myself to believe that I've changed immensely in the past month, but goodness, I have. It's not bad by any means, I just have grown up, & I'm happy of that. It just became clear in the past few days that I've changed. I didn't realize how very valuable leaving home & my comfort zone would be, but I feel very much on my own, & that's helped me deal with a lot of things. It does put me in a different world than some, but this is the world I'd rather be in. Yes, I left my childhood when I left Pelham, but here I have something more, namely, the rest of my life. If I wouldn't have left, I wouldn't have let go. & you can't grow if you don't let go. I'm not going home until October 24th, at the earliest. I don't want to be home. I'll miss my family, but other than that, I can't afford to go home. I don't know if it's worth it. I'd just rather be missed by whoever wants to miss me, & I'll miss everyone in the meantime. Will told me I go home too much. He's right. I think now, I will only go home if I'm absolutely in tears from homesickness. Otherwise, if anyone really wants to see me, they can come up here. Crap. & people don't listen. & people make assumptions & jump to conclusions & think they have it all figured out. If I've got a problem, please listen. If you've got a problem, talk to me. I'm now vaguely talking about a million different people & situations & this has strayed so far from my original topic I'm just going to drop it & go eat. This is about the time that "Wouldn't It Be Nice" comes into play. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I've been thinking about you a lot lately, too. You'll never go away. ...I think I'll listen to it. & go eat. & be so thankful that I made the decisions I made & came to the school I came to & have so easily fallen into a great group of friends & that I feel like I really belong here. I love MSU & it's made this whole transition so easy. So easy that I noticed the change in seasons moreso than the change in me. I love it.
Today was one of those days when I just wanted to lie in bed curled up in my warm sheets & comforter & flannel blanket & laze the day away watching movies. Instead I went to History & spent the next 6 hours kicking my British Lit paper's butt. Heh. Boondock Saints is an awesome movie. I'm glad I have friends who "don't watch bad movies". Next they're definitely watching Wet Hot American Summer. I got a new navel ring. It's a curved barbell & it looks like it'd be so much more comfortable than the ring but it's not. Okay. Hungry now. Have a beautiful night, all. <3
Last night I couldn't sleep after Jess & I had Erintime, so I prayed for you. & by you I mean, most everyone reading this. I hope everything in your lives is going wonderfully.
Which is hard to recall,
When high was a bird
And round was a ball.
When long was an hour
And big was a tree,
And there wasn't a thing
More important than me.
Now high is in light years
And round is the world,
And long is eternity's
Ages unfurled.
Now big is the universe
Dwarfing our sky....
It seems everything's growing
Much faster than I.
As cheesy as that poem sounds, it made me cry. I can't bring myself to believe that I've changed immensely in the past month, but goodness, I have. It's not bad by any means, I just have grown up, & I'm happy of that. It just became clear in the past few days that I've changed. I didn't realize how very valuable leaving home & my comfort zone would be, but I feel very much on my own, & that's helped me deal with a lot of things. It does put me in a different world than some, but this is the world I'd rather be in. Yes, I left my childhood when I left Pelham, but here I have something more, namely, the rest of my life. If I wouldn't have left, I wouldn't have let go. & you can't grow if you don't let go. I'm not going home until October 24th, at the earliest. I don't want to be home. I'll miss my family, but other than that, I can't afford to go home. I don't know if it's worth it. I'd just rather be missed by whoever wants to miss me, & I'll miss everyone in the meantime. Will told me I go home too much. He's right. I think now, I will only go home if I'm absolutely in tears from homesickness. Otherwise, if anyone really wants to see me, they can come up here. Crap. & people don't listen. & people make assumptions & jump to conclusions & think they have it all figured out. If I've got a problem, please listen. If you've got a problem, talk to me. I'm now vaguely talking about a million different people & situations & this has strayed so far from my original topic I'm just going to drop it & go eat. This is about the time that "Wouldn't It Be Nice" comes into play. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I've been thinking about you a lot lately, too. You'll never go away. ...I think I'll listen to it. & go eat. & be so thankful that I made the decisions I made & came to the school I came to & have so easily fallen into a great group of friends & that I feel like I really belong here. I love MSU & it's made this whole transition so easy. So easy that I noticed the change in seasons moreso than the change in me. I love it.
Today was one of those days when I just wanted to lie in bed curled up in my warm sheets & comforter & flannel blanket & laze the day away watching movies. Instead I went to History & spent the next 6 hours kicking my British Lit paper's butt. Heh. Boondock Saints is an awesome movie. I'm glad I have friends who "don't watch bad movies". Next they're definitely watching Wet Hot American Summer. I got a new navel ring. It's a curved barbell & it looks like it'd be so much more comfortable than the ring but it's not. Okay. Hungry now. Have a beautiful night, all. <3
Last night I couldn't sleep after Jess & I had Erintime, so I prayed for you. & by you I mean, most everyone reading this. I hope everything in your lives is going wonderfully.