(no subject)
I really cannot stand my parents. Seriously they piss me off. I love how they abandon me... my so-called mom kicks me out and my dad lets me stay at Sheena's without any knowledge of her grandmother and mother. To top all of this my social security check that comes every month is just now being signed by my dad with no regard for the fact that I have things I need to pay for. I couldn't order my cap and gown for graduation and I'm a little pissed about it. Needless to say it more than irks me to know that my dad is just now sending it. I'm missing out on my graduation which has been thirteen years in the making. Thank you Dad. What really gets me though is he can't figure out why I'm so angry and why I have such a rude tone in my voice. Has he taken two seconds to realize that I'm not taking my walk to get my diploma? This is in addition to missing my senior homecoming, yearbook, senior pictures, jacket, and all the other sundries that come along with your senior year in high school. All the while my mom can only sit and say that she's disappointed and she's sorry... I would like to point out that the majority of the events that have happened in the past year have been initiated by her getting a divorce from my dad. At any rate I'm missing out on things from my last year in high school and most of my problems are because of the two them. They can't for the life of them figure out why or how I could take a razor to my skin and cut and bleed and find this normal. Yet all the while I was doing to fore mentioned I was taking care of my little brother and sister, doing the laundry, cooking, making sure my brother got to bed on time, but this was only because my dad was in Hillsdale and my mom (whatever relation she is to me) was at school, work, or partying. So excuse me if I felt the need to self-injure but that was only because I was being the adult. It would be remiss to fail to mention that after knowing all of this my dad still refuses to believe that I have a problem and I need help and that I'm going to get that help by going to therapy not by going to a pastor every week so they can tell me that,"Jesus will heal you" as I continue to think of self-injuring. At this point I'm ready to just cut to show and prove to my dad that I have a problem and that I need therapy. But hey just as long as they can go through their mid-life crisis at the expense of others life is good... if you're them. I would also like to mention that if they don't get it together soon and realize how much they've hurt me and ruined so many experiences for me they're going to be the ones sorry. I hate to say it ... no wait no I don't... I hope the guilt you feel runs through your body everyday until you die. If you only knew how much you continue to hurt me...
XOXO
AJ
XOXO
AJ