(no subject)
im leaving for tulsa soon and i cant wait! its been so long since ive seen miles away!his name is miles, but i call him miles away since he lives so far away :] jess is meeting me at the airport and we are gonna have so much fun, i just really hope there are no tornados while im there :o/ i cant wait to go though. its so different than here..everyone is so hospitable and polite. i wish we had people like that in california. i mean we do, but its rare to see that.
i am so scared. my dad had to get a liver biopsy last tues and they called him fri to tell him that he has to go in to tell him what theyve found. he told me today after me asking him a million q's. uhhhhhh! i hate this. i know i always try to look on the better side of things, and i know its okay to be upset once in a while. i just have this problem blocking my feelings. i am trying to be better at this. i tend to hold things in and not really face things, then it always comes out with my stupid anxiety. i just get all spacey and tired all the time! but i always have to be doing something ya know so i feel like i dont sleep enough. i dont know, i just hate the feeling of worrying about my dad and something happening to him. who doesnt right. i think i get frustrated bc he doesnt seem to care or take care of himself so that makes me so mad! jee i wonder where i get my habit of not facing things comes from? haha. jk. i do love talking and helping my friends/family, its just big things i dont like to really think about even tho i should. i think its bc im the older sister and i have had to be kinda like the responsible helper of my sister and i have to be strong for her. but i get scared and sad too. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh i am done ranting. i have had so many rants lately..thats not good. i just need to focus on the good in my life to get me thru the bad and i do have a lot of good. i have been thinking a lot about my life and there are a lot of things i need to change and certain things to become habitual again for me. like the old sarah. i think i just have been going thru a weird phase, but im ready to be back to my old self. of course i have new improvements of myself, but as far as certain things go..im over a lot of it. do u know what i need to do? go skydiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i will one day. i definitely will. and maybe soon? its only 130ish dollars. ok time to go get ready byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
i am so scared. my dad had to get a liver biopsy last tues and they called him fri to tell him that he has to go in to tell him what theyve found. he told me today after me asking him a million q's. uhhhhhh! i hate this. i know i always try to look on the better side of things, and i know its okay to be upset once in a while. i just have this problem blocking my feelings. i am trying to be better at this. i tend to hold things in and not really face things, then it always comes out with my stupid anxiety. i just get all spacey and tired all the time! but i always have to be doing something ya know so i feel like i dont sleep enough. i dont know, i just hate the feeling of worrying about my dad and something happening to him. who doesnt right. i think i get frustrated bc he doesnt seem to care or take care of himself so that makes me so mad! jee i wonder where i get my habit of not facing things comes from? haha. jk. i do love talking and helping my friends/family, its just big things i dont like to really think about even tho i should. i think its bc im the older sister and i have had to be kinda like the responsible helper of my sister and i have to be strong for her. but i get scared and sad too. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh i am done ranting. i have had so many rants lately..thats not good. i just need to focus on the good in my life to get me thru the bad and i do have a lot of good. i have been thinking a lot about my life and there are a lot of things i need to change and certain things to become habitual again for me. like the old sarah. i think i just have been going thru a weird phase, but im ready to be back to my old self. of course i have new improvements of myself, but as far as certain things go..im over a lot of it. do u know what i need to do? go skydiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i will one day. i definitely will. and maybe soon? its only 130ish dollars. ok time to go get ready byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee