jp farewell (RIP)
today i was sitting in the living room with eli and our roomate dan and their friend jen watching them play nintendo, and eli's phone rang he handed the phone to me and said it was my mom. but it wasnt my mom it was alisha. she sounded so faraway. and sad. she asked me to sit down so i did. and she said something horrible has happened and that our friend jared was found dead. and i just felt my heart sink. it was a wrongful death he had taken some pills and od'd and died in his sleep. i feel so weird. i've never experienced a death of someone i knew well. i had gone to my friend's tammy's brothers funeral when he died. but it didnt really effect me because i didnt really know him.
i feel more sad for alisha because she was deeply connected with him and they've known each other for years. i feel so trapped here in portland i want to warp to az.
it hasnt hit me all the way............
i've cried and i keep finding myself out of breath and i just wander off.
i was close to jared for a time until i was getting ready to move to portland and he got more busy with work and stuff. but i thought he was a smart person and just i felt close to him because we were a lot of like and we understood each other so well. we shared moments looking at clouds just talking about life and the people we knew. it always made me feel better. i will be coming out to arizona for his funeral i dont know when it will be whether it will be before xmas or after. but i will be there for 4 days or so depending on things. so the earliest i will be there is this coming tuesday or wednesday. and i'll leave sometime before new years. gawd..........
i wish i could give you a grand big hug alisha and a kiss and tell you i love you and play with your hair as you lay in my lap.........
gawd.............jared i didnt even get to really see you before i left for portland because you were busy working at 5 and diner. i think the last time i saw you i was drunk. and i wishh i did see you before i left. you were going to die my hair for me outside and rinse out the die with a hose in front of your house on the corner. remember? like last time?....laughing and screaming because the water was soo cold and going everywhere..............
our time as friends will never be forgotten. RIP. <3
i feel more sad for alisha because she was deeply connected with him and they've known each other for years. i feel so trapped here in portland i want to warp to az.
it hasnt hit me all the way............
i've cried and i keep finding myself out of breath and i just wander off.
i was close to jared for a time until i was getting ready to move to portland and he got more busy with work and stuff. but i thought he was a smart person and just i felt close to him because we were a lot of like and we understood each other so well. we shared moments looking at clouds just talking about life and the people we knew. it always made me feel better. i will be coming out to arizona for his funeral i dont know when it will be whether it will be before xmas or after. but i will be there for 4 days or so depending on things. so the earliest i will be there is this coming tuesday or wednesday. and i'll leave sometime before new years. gawd..........
i wish i could give you a grand big hug alisha and a kiss and tell you i love you and play with your hair as you lay in my lap.........
gawd.............jared i didnt even get to really see you before i left for portland because you were busy working at 5 and diner. i think the last time i saw you i was drunk. and i wishh i did see you before i left. you were going to die my hair for me outside and rinse out the die with a hose in front of your house on the corner. remember? like last time?....laughing and screaming because the water was soo cold and going everywhere..............
our time as friends will never be forgotten. RIP. <3