hey yous. sorry for not commenting on your entries..ive just been so stressed :/ istillloveyouall.
im scared to go bed tonight...
the past couple of nights ive been having these terrible nightmares...
which have been forcing me to wake up at 4am tossing and turning, messing up my neatly tucked in sheets [ggrrr i hate that!]
and looking at the pretty shadows on my orange walls.
the nightmares have mainly been about mike hurting me in some way or another...
mostly him being with other chicks, cheating...which i know he would never do to me. but he's still very friendly with the ladies.
i get SO jealous of...every girl thats ever looked at him---which is sick...i dont want to be like that. but i cant fucking help it.
these dreams hurt my <3 so much in my sleep...its not even funny.
ill wake up early in the AM and just lay there in the dark...almost crying.
i feel like such a pansy even thinking about it.
the dreams are those ones that when you wake up...your not sure if they were real...or just a dream. those are deadly.
our one year is tomorrow.
i have all this stupid nice shit planned. and it doesnt even seem like mikes doing anything. which hurts deeply.
but i know he's doing something...he has to. its not like him to not do something. he's the super sweet one...remember.
p.s kayla came over today and dropped off some of my homework...{she kept telling me how nice my room smelt...i agreed. it was a citrus air spray stuff. :] } seeing as how i havent been at school for about a month...fuck! even just looking at those words on my monitor depress me. how pathetic.
im scared to go back to school...but i have to...obviously.
i just at least want to have some of my assignments done, so when i go back i dont look majorly irresponsible.
plus then i wont be super behind.
p.s.s my nani [grandma] told me she'd give me 100 bucks to take my g1. so now i have to worry about this shit...i have so much on my mind...my G1 isnt a major priority right now...but i have to take it before the year is over...and i still have to study for it...times running out.
fuck im so stressed.
save me.
<3 steph
the past couple of nights ive been having these terrible nightmares...
which have been forcing me to wake up at 4am tossing and turning, messing up my neatly tucked in sheets [ggrrr i hate that!]
and looking at the pretty shadows on my orange walls.
the nightmares have mainly been about mike hurting me in some way or another...
mostly him being with other chicks, cheating...which i know he would never do to me. but he's still very friendly with the ladies.
i get SO jealous of...every girl thats ever looked at him---which is sick...i dont want to be like that. but i cant fucking help it.
these dreams hurt my <3 so much in my sleep...its not even funny.
ill wake up early in the AM and just lay there in the dark...almost crying.
i feel like such a pansy even thinking about it.
the dreams are those ones that when you wake up...your not sure if they were real...or just a dream. those are deadly.
our one year is tomorrow.
i have all this stupid nice shit planned. and it doesnt even seem like mikes doing anything. which hurts deeply.
but i know he's doing something...he has to. its not like him to not do something. he's the super sweet one...remember.
p.s kayla came over today and dropped off some of my homework...{she kept telling me how nice my room smelt...i agreed. it was a citrus air spray stuff. :] } seeing as how i havent been at school for about a month...fuck! even just looking at those words on my monitor depress me. how pathetic.
im scared to go back to school...but i have to...obviously.
i just at least want to have some of my assignments done, so when i go back i dont look majorly irresponsible.
plus then i wont be super behind.
p.s.s my nani [grandma] told me she'd give me 100 bucks to take my g1. so now i have to worry about this shit...i have so much on my mind...my G1 isnt a major priority right now...but i have to take it before the year is over...and i still have to study for it...times running out.
fuck im so stressed.
save me.
<3 steph