Merlin Insta-Reactions
OK, firstly, if you say "don't let anyone in! ANYONE!!", that INCLUDES YOU, Moron.
Also, Merlin has a purple shirt, and Colin Morgan looks, as usual, FINE. Damn, boy.
Arthur, you are an arse, as usual. DAMN, boy.
And look at Merlin, getting an escort! I suppose it would look rather bad if Arthur's paramour were to go missing and he didn't do anything to help.
Er. 'with luck we should be there by nightfall'? It was pretty clearly within eyesight, like, 'individual houses visible'-within-eyesight. How slow are those damn horses? (And when did Mistress Mary learn to ride?)
ELYAN, YOU ARE A BAD-ASS. ELYAN, MARRY ME. OR MERLIN. WHICHEVER YOU LIKE. (But seriously, Colin Morgan looks like twelve years old in that light, did no one see the "OH COME ON, HE'S A CHILD!" argument coming?)
Also, intelligent-and-competent Merlin only makes Colin Morgan hotter. Trufax. *fans self*
Oooh, ominous hissing noises. Given that this is the world of Merlin, I'm going to draw on my vast experience to say that evil is present. Or possibly Morgana, her Swishy Cloak of Doom (TM) makes much the same noise.
Also, Gwaine and Merlin. Goddamn, they really just cast for compatible prettiness, didn't they? (I for one am not complaining.)
They are adorable. Together and apart.
Hey, hey, guys, sorcery was suspected and it wasn't Gaius saying "IT MUST BE SOSSERAY!" Colour me VERY surprised.
Also, that's right you lot, why don't you all ride off and abandon them rather than sending two people or so as messengers?
Um. It's a fire in a wood. It's a FIRE in a WOOD. What a SHOCK that must be. ¬_¬ Merlin!logic still makes no sense, even after two glasses of wine.
Hee, Gwaine kicking ass and takin' names, but it never fails to surprise me how short-sighted Uther must have been to ban magic entirely, when Merlin could take out that camp by himself. But the adorable little smile between the knights as they worked together was ADORBS.
I just said 'adorbs', please shoot me. It would be kinder!
LAMIA. LAMIA, SERIOUSLY, THEY'RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE SUBTLE. She's a snake woman, for the love of God, Keats tells me so (and it explains the hissing, because Morgana isn't around unless she's lurking behind a tree, and Agravaine hasn't been given screentime to sidle off all episode). IT'S LIKE THEY'RE NOT EVEN AWARE OF THEIR OWN LITERARY CANON. WHICH WASN'T WRITTEN YET. SHUT UP, I'M DRUNK, I DON'T HAVE TO BE COHERENT, TIMELINES ARE HARD, OK.
Oh, hang on, Percival's being an arse. I think there may be an ~ENCHANTMENT AT WORK. And now he's hearing things, and not even sexy things, which a man with those arms should always hear, let's be perfectly honest here.
Question: who even is Percival? He rocked up out of nowhere, and everyone went "...alright then!" I know who he is in the legends, but in this show? No clue. They took one look at his arms and invited him straight in. Which, to be fair, is totally what I'd do.
"You already checked", Arthur? Dude, srsly, they've been gone two days, did you check on Google Maps or something? Nutter. How is he just running off and leaving his kingdom, like, THE WHOLE TIME? (But clearly, his paramour needs his help. Merlin is VERY PRECIOUS to him. THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HIM.)
Also, ouch. I felt that, that hurt. And from Leon?
I mean, damn.
Bet you two quid Arthur falls under Lamia's spell also. She's a female with bad magic, he's either in love with her or related to her. I know this show, I know how this goes.
Oh, hey, lots of dead people in purple.
"Does anything strike you has odd about these bodies?" Yes, that they're all dressed in purple. Oh, but hey, there's a witness!
OK, and Lamia's evil. BIG WHOOP. I do love how subtle 'Merlin' is - you never have to worry about being confused by the plotline.
My television is telling me that if I'm 'over 75 and over they Switchover Help Scheme can help you switch your TV to digital'. Thanks for the tip, I'm only fifty three years too young.
Handy 'Merlin' Script Writer Tactic: "serpent" sounds more posh than 'snake'. Also, dude, what. How would the mingled blood of a girl and a snake give you the power to control the mind? It makes no sense.
On the other hand, this is 'Merlin'. I'm not quite sure why I keep expecting it to.
NO, ELYAN, BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID.
Gwen, why did you 'jerk awake' when your eyes were open? Also, um, did you TELL Lamia that Elyan was your brother, or did she cunningly infer it? Does her snake/girl blood also give her prescience?
Also, hallo, Arthur, when did you turn into Prince Humperdinck? "Six horses, headed east!" Let me guess, unless you're wrong (and you are never wrong), they are also headed straight into the fireswamp?
I'm kind of assuming they didn't have next-of-kin back then. Because Gwen is IT for Elyan, in which case Leon, you need to sit down and shut up. (Actually, do that anyway. Enchantment or not, you're being an arse.)
GOOD CHRIST, BRADLEY JAMES, BITE YOUR LIP MORE OFTEN, PLEASE. Unf. Fnargle. All of those good things.
Aside from the ominous music, I would never have guessed that castle was evil. It's, um. On a hilltop and in sunlight. This is not how 'Merlin' works. There should be darkness! It should be in a hollow! And preferably made of dark stone! I, er, guess that the CGI budget only allowed for a shot which can be reused as 'Camelot' later on in the show, huh?
Agravaine, why do you want to stop Arthur from following them? Surely it's the most dangerous path, and that's what you want. SO MANY QUESTIONS. Agravaine confuses me.
Also, wanna bet that Merlin never gets an apology for how they've treated him? This is, after all, 'Merlin', where people don't care two shits about how Merlin feels or thinks normally, so why bother?
Oh, Merlin, lurk a little harder. But seriously, I'm hurt for him. I would be unhappy.
Also, Arthur, Merlin is missing too. *sigh* One person totally on Merlin's side would be rather nice. I miss Gaius, why can't Gaius have some more screentime?
Then again, poor bloody Gwen. The brother she's never given a sign of caring about before is dying, and it must hurt like hell.
That is very unkind and yet I can't help thinking it. W/E.
"There's something about YOU, Merlin." So many agree. Including Arthur.
Poor Gwen, it's gotta be rough for her, being left alone. I'd be freaked. :(
In other news, HALLO OPEN-MOUTHED GWAINE.
Um, how are you so intimately acquainted with Gwen's tunics, Arthur? Her dresses, sure, but not her tunics. I, um. I'm really not sure I want to know, do I?
PERCIVAL, YOUR ARMS ARE IN DANGER.
I hope, however as you fall into a slumber that you think 'Oh, Merlin was right'.AND THEN YOU APOLOGISE. *vain hopes*
WAHEY, SHOW DOWN.
OH MERLIN, YOU ARE AWESOME. BUT PLEASE DO SOMETHING TO PROVE IT. On the other hand, the little twist Colin Morgan put on "then - what are you waiting for?" was really rather lovely.
Um, Gaius, I may have some issue to take with your description of 'serpent'. That was a land-octopus at best. IT HAS TENTACLES.
Insert standard 'I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going' gag here.
Oh Gwen. That was awesome. More awesome if Merlin had run towards Arthur when he killed the serpent, but you can't have everything in life.
OK, so everyone's well again. Where is Merlin's apology?
Oh, that's right, he's not going to get it - he's going to get some witty repartee with Arthur instead. Lovely. And we'll get a nice Arthur/Gwen scene at the end.
Also, seriously, Merlin needs an apology. DUDES, WTF.
I didn't make it to the end of the episode, because my brother commandeered the TV at 9pm. Tell me, did Merlin get an apology? Yeah, didn't think so. Fuckers.
Colour me very surprised once more - Arthur didn't fall in love with the evil chick! But Merlin's emotional needs were once again ignored in favour of furthering a romance I neither believe in nor care about, so all is more or less right in the world of 'Merlin'. In other news, red wine makes me bitchy.
Now, to fic! And to iPlayer, to see the end. I'm still holding out for that apology.