Fic: Bandom: Rhyming in the Key of Magic: Continuation chat!fic
Title: Rhyming in the Key of Magic
Rating: PG
Warnings: Ridiculousness?
Word Count: er, like, 3000 plus
Summary: Tyson thought the letter he got was a joke, until he actually arrived at Hogwarts. The entire thing was mad, strange, insane - and yet, he somehow managed to enjoy himself along the way.
And here, in chat-fic form, is how the rest of this mad, bad, bizarre verse is going to go.
Kate says (01:29):
Meliiiiiissa
may I ask a very quick favour?
before I stumble off to bedwards?
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:29):
you mayyyyy
Kate says (01:29):
ILU
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:29):
of coooourse you do
Kate says (01:30):
this is one of the many, many reasons why you will always be my favourite. *grin*
I have a fic, a TERRIBLE HEINOUS WRITTEN IN TWENTY MINUTES fic here I was wondering if you would look through very quickly
It is a bandom-Harry Potter fusion
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:30):
;alskdjfklsajdf
GIVE ME
Kate says (01:30):
and it is the spawn of the devil
*laughs* OK!
Transfer of "hogwarts AU.docx" is complete.
Kate says (01:31):
my Google-fu tells me that Harry was born in 1980, and Tyson was born in 1985, so would be a first year to Harry's fifth year, but then there are other bandom character dotted around, and I pretty much just took a wild stab in the dark ("PETE! HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU WHAT AN AWESOME SIXTH-YEAR YOU WOULD MAKE?")
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:32):
omg
Kate says (01:32):
*g*
??
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:32):
Pete-as-a-sixth-year sounds amazing
Kate says (01:32):
wait till you read this awful, evil thing
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:46):
XD <3
ok finished
;alekjdf;alksjd;fklasd;klsj
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:47):
I DEMAND *MORE*
NOW
Kate says (01:47):
OMG YOU ACTUALLY LIKED IT
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:47):
FUCK SLEEP.OBEY MY WHIMS.
Kate says (01:47):
ZOMGZOMGZOMG
\0/ \0/ \0/
YOU ARE MISSING THE CRAZY DANCE OF GLEE I'M DOING RIGHT NOW
IT IS A THING OF WONDROUS AND FRIGHTENING BEAUTY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:47):
<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kate says (01:47):
It wasn't too confusing and complicated and weird?
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:47):
NO IT WAS AMAZING
INCESTUOUS PUREBLOODS OMG
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:48):
EXCEPT NOT, LOL
;alskjdf;lkasjd;flkjs
Kate says (01:48):
*GRINNING LIKE A LUNATIC, OMG*
WITH THE MELISSA SEAL OF APPROVAL, THIS MEANS I CAN *POST* IT
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:48):
YOU CAN
D:LFKA:LKDF:ALDKF
MOOOOOORE PLEEEEEEASE
Kate says (01:48):
\0\ /0/ \0/
Kate says (01:49):
BUT IT IS FINISHED!
IT IS A STANDALONE
BUT FOR YOU
BABY
FOR YOU, I WILL WRITE DRABBLES IN THIS UNIVERSE FOREVER
AND LONGER STORIES FOR BIRTHDAYS AND CHRISTMAS AND ANNIVERSARIES
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:49):
AND THAT IS ALL I ASK FOR
*SNUGGLE*
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:50):
I REALLY REALLY WANT TYSON FALLING IN LOVE WITH NICK WHILST NICK IS BUSY BEING A CHASER BY CATCHING HIS EYE, AND THEN NICK FALLING OFF OF HIS BROOM
FALLING OFF IN *LOVE*
Kate says (01:50):
OMG
OMG OMG OMG
NICK BEING A CHASER
OMG
ILUUUUU
THAT IS AWESOME
Kate says (01:51):
TYSON IS WICKED GOOD AT CHARMS, BTW
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:51):
HE'S JUST A HEALTHY ATHLETIC AMERICAN BOY
SO TY CATCHES HIM?
Kate says (01:51):
HE CLEARLY CATCHES NICK WITH ONE OF - HIVE
HIVE MF HIVE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:51):
XD!
\O/
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:51):
(I want half the school to have inappropriate crushes on Chris)
("He knows HARRY POTTER donchaknow?")
Kate says (01:52):
BECAUSE HE IS GRYFFINDOR'S RESERVE KEEPER AND HE'S NOT RON WEASLEY, WHO IS SCARY AND ALSO GINGER AND ALSO TAKEN
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:52):
AND ALSO GINGER
CHRIS IS SOMETIMES, IN THE RIGHT LIGHT, STRAWBERRY BLONDE
AND PETE IS CREEPY OVER PATRICK, Y/Y?
Kate says (01:53):
OMG YES YES YES
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:53):
AND THE PROFESSORS ARE TRYING IN THEIR REPRESSED WAY TO BE LIKE "PETE IT'S STATUTORY RAPE DO NOT BE SO OBVIOUS"
Kate says (01:53):
I HAVE THIS WHOLE VERSE PLANNED OUT IN MY HEAD FOR THEM
EXCEPT FOR SNAPE
WHO IS ALL "IF YOU FUCK HIM THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY WENTZ. HELL."
PETE IS VAGUELY TRAUMATISED THAT SNAPE EVEN KNOWS WHAT SEX IS
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:54):
"IF YOU KISS STUMP IN DETENTION AGAIN, WENTZ, I WILL *CHEMICALLY CASTRATE* YOU!"
Kate says (01:54):
OH EM EFF GEE
YES YES YES
THAT IS SO FUCKING AWESOME
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:54):
AND THEN HE GOES AND GRUMPILY STARES AT GEE'S ARSE WHILST GRUMPING OVER TEA?
Kate says (01:54):
AHAHAHAHA SNAPE HAS THE INAPPROPRIATE MANCRUSH ON GEE
WHO WORKS AT THE SCHOOL BECAUSE HE WAS MAD DEPENDENT ON POTIONS FOR A TIME THERE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:54):
I can imagine Snape being SO FUCKING PISSED at being attracted at all to anyone
Kate says (01:54):
POTIONS AND FIREWHISKEY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:54):
AS:LDF:LAKSD:FLKASDFK
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:55):
FELIX FELICIS?
OR WATEVS
Kate says (01:55):
OH FUCK YES
THIS UNIVERSE, I LOVE IT SO MUCH ALREADY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:55):
I DO TOO KATE, I DO TOO.
Kate says (01:55):
GAH
SNAPE/GERARD
ASDKF;A
FRAAANK
WE HAVE FORGOTTEN FRAAAAAANK
WHO IS CLEARLY IN MIKEY'S YEAR
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:55):
THEY'D BE ALL GREASY TOGETHER ;_;
Kate says (01:55):
AND PINES FROM AFAR
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:55):
FRANK/BOB/RAY?
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:56):
JUST UNTIL IT'S GERARD/FRANK?
Kate says (01:56):
BOB/MIKEY
ALL THE WAY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:56):
aww, I love platonic-but-still-sexy-threesomes XD
Kate says (01:56):
BOB IS IN HUFFLEPUFF SEVENTH-YEAR
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:56):
IDEK I JUST LOVE BOB
Kate says (01:56):
OMG YES THEY ARE TOTALLY INSEPERABLE
INSEPARABLE*
JUST NOT HAVING THE SEXYTIEMZ
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:56):
MNNNUUUH EXACTLY
Kate says (01:57):
BOB IS HUFFLEPUFF AND NO ONE CAN WORK OUT HOW HE CAN MAKE MIKEYWAY GO WEAK AT THE KNEES
BECAUSE HE IS IN HUFFLEPUFF
AND MIKEY IS AWESOME AND COOL AND SHARP-HIPPED AND SLYTHERIN
AND A TOTAL GOOF FOR BOB
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:57):
I WANT HARRY TO HAVE ONE OF HIS "OH VOLDY NO!" MOMENTS, AND THEN THE SCHOOL TO BE LIKE "DID YOU *SEE* THE WAY PETE AND GABE AND TRAVIE WERE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER? *POOR* PATRICK!"
Kate says (01:57):
AHAHAHAHA YES
Kate says (01:58):
AND HARRY TO BE ALL, "ER, GUYS, FREAKING OUT HERE"
AND EVERYONE TO BE LIKE, "ONE SECOND. THOSE CALLOUS BASTARDS! SORRY HARRY, WHERE WERE WE?"
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:58):
AND HERMIONE AND GINNY TO BE LIKE "DO YOU THINK WE COULD EVER BE THAT SKINNY? OR POLYJUICE OURSELVES INTO VICKY-T? JUST ONE NIGHT. IT'S ALL I NEED."
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:59):
"ONE NIGHT, A MEMORY FOREVER."
OOOMMMGGG
Kate says (01:59):
OMFG
VICKY-T
AKJJDSF;A
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:59):
WOULD PETE GET A BUNCH OF POETRY THAT READS ITSELF OUT OVER BREAKFAST?
Kate says (01:59):
HARRY THERE ALL, "GUYS. *GUYS!!!*"
YES YES YES HE WOULD TOTALLY SEND PATRICK THESE LOVESICK HOWLERS THE WHOLE TIME
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:59):
LIKE, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO BE ALL "MY SOUL IS LYRICAL LIKE YOURS."
BUT THAT TOO!
Kate says (01:59):
PATRICK HAS LEARNT HOW TO INCINERATE THEM ON SIGHT
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:59):
PATRICK IS AMAZING
Kate says (02:00):
OH EM EFF GEE YES YESSSSS
SOMEHOW, THE DECAYDANCE BUNCH RULE THE SCHOOL
DESPITE HARRY POTTER BEING THERE
COURTNEY BECKETT (WHO IS A PHOTOGRAPHER BY TRADE) TOTALLY DESPISES THE CREEVEY BROTHERS
"AMATEURISTIC TWITS"
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:01):
"YOU CALL THAT *EXPOSURE???!!!*"
Kate says (02:01):
"WHAT KIND OF IDIOTS ARE YOU!?"
HEEE, AND WHEN BILL GETS THERE
A TINY, SKINNY BUNDLE OF AWESOME AND SNARK
OH GOOD EVER LOVING GOD, THE PANIC BOYS
JON ARRIVES WITH BILL
Kate says (02:02):
THEN BRENDON AND RYAN
AND THEN SPENCER
PETE ADOPTS THEM INSTANTLY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:02):
SPENCER
A:KLSDJFLKA:LSDJF:A
HOGWARTS WOULD BE COVERED IN ROSES AND CHINTZ WITHIN *SECONDS*
Kate says (02:02):
(PETE MAY HAVE TO BE A FIFTH YEAR, OR HE WILL HAVE GONE BY THE TIME - UNLESS HE STAYS ON? TEACHERS HAVING DIED IN THE INTERIM - OMG OMG OMG HE TOTALLY STAYS ON AS THE NEW CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES TEACHER)
Kate says (02:03):
AHAAHHAHAHA DUDE, RYAN
HE'S ONLY A FIRST YEAR AND ALREADY SCARVES AND EMO FRINGES ARE CATCHING ON
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:03):
PEOPLE JUST LOVE HIM COMPLETELY AND GIVE HIM CAKES
Kate says (02:03):
HARRY'S THERE LIKE "WHY DID NO ONE EVER LISTEN TO ME LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS A FIRST YEAR?"
AND HERMIONE'S ALL "YOU JUST DIDN'T HAVE THEIR CONFIDENCE HARRY *PATPAT*"
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:04):
AND PATRICK AND SPENCER EMO TOGETHER BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY'RE FAT BUT SHOULDN'T ROSS BE FAT? HE EATS SO MUCH CAKE T_T
Kate says (02:04):
AND YET HE IS ALL SKINNY AND SHARP-HIPPED AND A LITTLE BIT TOO LIKE A MINI-MIKEY IN THE MAKING
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:04):
LIKE, MAYBE JUST ONE NIGHT. TWO PASSING SOULS, A MOMENT OF SHARED EMOTION
Kate says (02:04):
PETE ACTUALLY CALLS HIM MINI-MIKEY
MIKEY IS NOT AMUSED
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:04):
ASKLAD:KLJFKLASJDFIKL
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:05):
KATE
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
Kate says (02:05):
I HAVE NO IDEA
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:05):
AND WHERE ARE THE JOBROS IN THIS???
Kate says (02:05):
THIS UNIVERSE IS HEINOUS
AND ALSO ENTIRELY IN CAPSLOCK
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:05):
*KEVIN*
Kate says (02:05):
OH EM EFF GEE
KEVIN
KEVIN AND MIKE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:05):
SO FUCKING BAD AT EVERYTHING, HIM AND NEVILLE EAT ICE CREAM AT MIDNIGHT AND CRY TOGETHER OVER SNAPES COMMENTS
Kate says (02:05):
TINY, CURLY, HUFFLEPUFFING KEVIN
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:06):
ASLD:FKA:LSDJF:ASLDJFA
Kate says (02:06):
ASDJKF;ASDFKA;DGH[ NEV AND KEV
THE NEW HOGWARTS MENTOR SCHEME
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:06):
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH LKAJSDFKLJALKDFJALKSDJF
Kate says (02:06):
THE ONLY THING KEVIN IS GOOD AT IS, LIKE, CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES
HE IS PETE'S FAVOURITE FOR THIS REASON
AND POSSIBLY HAS SOMETHING UNLIKELY WITH A LOT OF TEETH WHICH FOLLOWS HIM ROUND
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:07):
;alkakdl;sjfal;ksdjf;klasjdfasd
Kate says (02:13):
OMG OMG OMG DUDE
KEVIN JONAS AT HOGWARTS
BEING FAILY AND ADORABLE AND CRUSHING ON MIKE CARDEN
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:14):
OANSDKFJAKLDJSFALKSDFJ
KATE
Kate says (02:14):
ESPECIALLY SINCE KEVIN WILL ARRIVE AFTER THE VANQUISHMENT OF VOLDEMORT WHEN MIKE IS IN, LIKE, FIFTH YEAR
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:14):
WHAT IF HIS PARENTS HAVE DISOWNED HIM?
Kate says (02:14):
AND ALL WILL BE AWESOME
AJSKDFL;ASLKJASDFKJ FOR BEING ~MAGICAL?
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:14):
BECAUSE MAGIC IS AGAINST THE BIBLE
Kate says (02:14):
HIIIIIIVE
HIS PARENTS HAVE DISOWNED HIM
HIS BROTHERS HAVE NOT
Kate says (02:15):
THEY HAVE SECRETED AN OWL IN THE GARDEN
AND ARE WRITING TO HIM
SECRETLY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:15):
;alkdsjfkajsdfklajs;dflkjas
O.M.G
Kate says (02:15):
I KNOW.
I. KNOW.
AND THEN NICK AND TYSON ARE FALLING IN LOVE AND ARE LIKE, THE POSTER CHILDREN FOR LOVE AND AFFECTION AND ~RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE NICK IS TOTALLY INTO TYSON AND TYSON IS TOTALLY INTO NICK
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:16):
AND *EVERYONE* IS LIKE "KEVIN OMG! LET ME LOVE YOU! YOU POOR THING. HOW CAN YOU DEAL WITHOUT YOUR FAMILY??!" AND HARRY IS LIKE "*SINGLE EMO TEAR*"
AND OMG. NICK N TY
Kate says (02:16):
AND KEVIN KEEPS KIND OF STARING AT THEM LIKE "WHY CAN'T I HAVE THAT?" AND MIKE IS ALL, "IF YOU KEEP STARING AT RITTER, PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET THE WRONG IDEA" AND KEVIN IS ALL "AAAAAH!!! DON'T SNEAK UP ON PEOPLE LIKE THAT!!"
Kate says (02:17):
HASN'T HARRY LEFT AT THIS POINT? ASDJKFALS; IF HARRY'S LEFT IT MEANS - NICK IS IN SEVENTH YEAR, AND THAT WORKS OUT KIND OF PERFECTLY
PETE IS THERE AS, LIKE, CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES TEACHER
BECAUSE PATRICK IS STILL THERE
AND PETE IS THE SKEEVY TEACHER PERVING ON HIS STUDENTS
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:17):
O.M.G
Kate says (02:17):
MIKEY IS HANGING AROUND BECAUSE GERARD LIVES THERE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:17):
WITH OCCASIONAL RAUCOUS RAVES IN THE SHACK WITH GABE AND TRAVIE?
Kate says (02:17):
YESSSSS
THOUGH GABE AND TRAVIS HAVE TO FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT
Kate says (02:18):
BECAUSE OF BILVY
*SOLEMN NOD*
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:18):
THE FIRST TIME THAT HAPPENS, ALL THE DORMS ARE SEARCHED WHILST THE PROFS ARE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT *WHERE* THaT GOFAWFUL NOISE IS
GODAWFUL*
Kate says (02:18):
AHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSS
THEY THINK IT'S THE RESULT OF A TERRIBLE SPELL GONE WRONG, OR POSSIBLY AN ANIMAL IN PAIN
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:18):
XDDDDD INJURED HIPPOGRIFF EATING A CENTAUR
Kate says (02:18):
IT'S ONLY WHEN THEY GO DOWN TO EX-HAGRID'S SHACK TO ASK FOR PETE'S PROFESSIONAL OPINION THAT THEY REALISE THE ~TRUTH
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:19):
XDDDDD
THIS VERSE.
Kate says (02:19):
IT IS AWESOMELY HEINOUS
THOUGH I'M LEANING MORE TOWARDS HEINOUSLY AWESOME
TENTATIVELY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:19):
I'M JUST QUIETLY EXPLODING
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:20):
CAN YOU *IMAGINE* PATRICK BEING SUPER SHY AND LIKE, HIM AND PETE OUTSIDE OF A DANCE AND PETE BEING QUIET FOR ONCE AND PATRICK LIGHTING UP THEIR HIDING PLACE WITH DELICATE LITTLE LIGHTS AND LOOKING HOPEFULLLL
Kate says (02:20):
YULE BAAAALLL
AND PATRICK IS STILL AN ICKLE FIRSTIE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:20):
BECAUSE APPARENTLY FAIRY LIGHTS = TWUUUU LUVVVVV
Kate says (02:20):
AND PETE IS THE SKEEVY SIXTH YEAR
Kate says (02:21):
AND PETE IS ALL "DUDE, I HAVE SOME MORALS, OK?"
AND PATRICK IS ALL "WAITWHATNO!!"
AND THEN THEY REENACT THE SCENE WHEN PATRICK IS IN, LIKE, SIXTH YEAR, AND IT LEADS TO LESS "OMG GROSS" AND MORE *SMOOCH*
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:21):
AWWWW
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:22):
PETE WOULD TOTALLY KISS PATRICK ON THE CHEEK AND BE LIKE, "NOT YET."
AFTER THE FREAK OUT
xd
XD*
Kate says (02:22):
AHAHAHAHAHAHA "I AM SAVING YOU, STUMP. FOR A RAINY DAY AND THE REST OF MY LIFE."
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:23):
"FOR THE TIME WHEN I SAY I COULD PUT YOU IN MY POCKET AND MEAN IT *ONLY* METAPHORICALLY!"
Kate says (02:23):
ASDKJF;ALSAL "STOP WAXING POETIC," PATRICK GRUMPED. "IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE, OK? AND IT WAS DARK. GOD, WHO THINKS FAIRY LIGHTS MEAN TRUE LOVE, ANYWAY?"
Kate says (02:24):
"ANYONE WHO'S BEEN THROUGH PUBERTY," PETE TOLD HIM KINDLY AND SKIPPED OFF BACK TOWARDS THE PARTY.
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:24):
'AKLS;DJFASDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Kate says (02:25):
WHERE DO TRAVIS AND GABE FEATURE IN THIS, ANYWAY?
I'M THINKING TRAVIS IS THE AWESOME!COOL FIFTH YEAR FROM, LIKE, RAVENCLAW
Kate says (02:26):
AND GABE IS, LIKE, THE ASTRONOMY TEACHER
WHO IS *WOUNDED* WHEN BILL IS ALL "YOUR SUBJECT SUCKS"
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:26):
"THE COBRA IS WEAK WITH YOU, YOUNG BECKETT. *LEER*"
OR POSSIBLY JUST, "YOU SUCK. ME. NOW. FOR REALZIES."
Kate says (02:27):
SNAPE AND GABE CORDIALLY LOATHE EACH OTHER
MAINLY BECAUSE SNAPE TRIED TO TAKE THE MORAL HIGH GROUND
AND GABE WAS ALL "DUDE. PRETTY SURE WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH YOUR ASSISTANT IS ILLEGAL IN A COUPLA DIFFERENT COUNTRIES."
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:27):
"BUT NOT THIS ONE, SAPORTA, NOT THIS ONE!"
Kate says (02:28):
"AND WHAT YOU ARE DOING WITH TRAVIS MCCOY IS! AND THE WAY YOU LOOK AT WILLIAM BECKETT SHOULD BE!"
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:28):
*FALLS ABOUT LAUGHING*
Kate says (02:28):
OH SNAPE
YOU ARE SO LULZY WHEN YOU ARE RIGHTEOUSLY INDIGNANT
ABOUT SEXUAL MATTERS
*LE WINK*
Kate says (02:29):
OMG DUMBLEDORE
UNTIL HE GETS KILLED, THAT IS
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:29):
I THINK HE'D TURN TO DRINK
Kate says (02:29):
*LAUGHS. OUT. LOUD. FOR REALZ*
THOSE SHERBERT LEMONS
NOT SO SHERBERTY ANY MORE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:29):
JUST LIKE, HIM AND MCGONOGAL IN HIS OFFICE. "MINERVA, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. MY SCHOOL HAS TURNED INTO A DEN OF INIQUITY. I NEVER THOUGHT THEY'D ALL TAKE TO DEBAUCHERY QUITE SO *WELL*"
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:29):
ROFFFLLLLLLL
Kate says (02:30):
TASTE QUITE STRONGLY OF FIREWHISKEY ACKSHUALLY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:30):
GERARD CAN'T EAT THEM
Kate says (02:30):
AHAHAHAHAHAH "I MEAN, A LITTLE DEBAUCHERY NOW AND THEN IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL - WHY, I REMEMBER, BACK WHEN GRINDELWALD AND I WERE YOUNG-"
"I THINK YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH LEMONS, NOW, ALBUS."
AHAHAHA, NO
Kate says (02:31):
HE PREFERS NOT TO BE AROUND THE HEADMASTER WHEN HE'S IN HIS - AH - WHEN HE'S ALL LEMONED UP
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:31):
XDDDDDDD
Kate says (02:31):
THIS RESULTS IN DISAPPROVING LOOKS FROM SNAPE
AND YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A DISAPPROVING LOOK TILL YOU'VE SEEN ONE FROM SNAPE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:33):
OH! AND PETE WOULD BE THE ONLY ONE WITH A WORKING COMPUTER *AND* INTERNET
HE WOULD HAVE A TUMBLR DEDICATED TO PICTURES OF LIGHT THROUGH PATRICK'S HAIR
AND A TWITTER DETAILING THE NAMES OF THEIR CHILDREN
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:33):
AND EVERY TIME PEOPLE ASK HOW THE FUCK HE'S DOING IT, HERMIONE WOULD BLUSH AND GIGGLE
Kate says (02:33):
HE TOTALLY WOULD
Kate says (02:34):
HE HAS LOADS OF FOLLOWERS TOO
WHO THINK HIM AND PATRICK ARE ADORABLE
PATRICK HAS NO IDEA, BEING A NICELY-BROUGHT-UP PUREBLOOD
TY ISN'T ABOUT TO ENLIGHTEN HIM
WHY GIVE HIS FRIEND THE PAIN OF KNOWING THAT PETE WANTS TO CALL ONE OF THEIR INEVITABLE CHILDREN "GRISABELLA AMOURIA"?
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:35):
O.M.F.G
AND PETE WOULD HAVE TONS OF PICTURES OF THEIR NON-EXISTANT CHILDREN
Kate says (02:35):
DONE THROUGH MORPH_THINGS AND MAGIC
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:35):
MADE UP ON THOSE "MORPH YOUR FACES" SITES
Kate says (02:35):
ASDJFK;A HIVE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:35):
HIVVVVVE
Kate says (02:35):
NO NO NO
HE DID IT WITH A POTION AND A DROP OF PATRICK'S BLOOD
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:35):
;ALKSDJF;LAKJSD;FKSD
Kate says (02:35):
AND THEN TREATED PHOTOS WITH IT
MAGIC!FU
Kate says (02:36):
AND EVERYONE'S LIKE "AW, THEY'RE ADORABLE, ISN'T MORPH_THINGS AMAZING?" AND THEN HE GOES AND CHECKS IT OUT AND SPENDS HOURS MERGING THE MOST UNLIKELY PEOPLE'S FACES
SNAPE AND GABE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:36):
AAAAH
Kate says (02:36):
DUMBLEDORE AND GINNY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:36):
XDDDDD
CAN YOU IMAGINE
IT WOULD BECOME A GUERILLA MISSION FOR HIM TO STICK UP AS MANY PHOTOS AS HE CAN IN A NIGHT
Kate says (02:37):
OH FUCKING YES
YES YES YES
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:37):
;;LDKJFALKD
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:37):
PEOPLE WOULD BE GROSSED AT HOW NORMAL GERARD AND MIKEY'S KID WOULD LOOK
Kate says (02:37):
ASDJFKA;S YESSS
Kate says (02:38):
THEY'D BE LIKE "WHERE ARE THE TENTACLES?"
"THE SLIMY, INCESTUOUS TENTACLES?"
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:38):
LIKE A BLONDE LITTLE ANGEL AND PEOPLE'D BE "WHERE IS THIS BLONDE COMING FROM????"
OR
SNAPE AND GABE'S CHILD
WOULD LOOK LIKE GEE
Kate says (02:38):
YESSSS
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:38):
AND THEN PEOPLE WOULD FEEL QUEASY FOR A WHILE
Kate says (02:38):
AJSDK;FA THEY'D BE ALL "o.O
BECAUSE THERE IS A HORRIBLE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE SOMEWHERE WHERE SNAPE IS SCREWING HIS SON BY GABE SAPORTA
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:38):
AND THAT'D BE THE END OF SNAPE'S INAPPROPRIATE CRUSH
Kate says (02:39):
SDJFKL;AS;A YESSSS
AND THAT'S WHEN FRANK MAKES HIS MOOOOOOVE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:39):
OMGGGGGG
Kate says (02:40):
BASICALLY, THE BANDOM BOYS DO HOGWARTS
AND MAN DO THEY DO IT GOOD.
You were warned! :D
Rating: PG
Warnings: Ridiculousness?
Word Count: er, like, 3000 plus
Summary: Tyson thought the letter he got was a joke, until he actually arrived at Hogwarts. The entire thing was mad, strange, insane - and yet, he somehow managed to enjoy himself along the way.
And here, in chat-fic form, is how the rest of this mad, bad, bizarre verse is going to go.
Kate says (01:29):
Meliiiiiissa
may I ask a very quick favour?
before I stumble off to bedwards?
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:29):
you mayyyyy
Kate says (01:29):
ILU
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:29):
of coooourse you do
Kate says (01:30):
this is one of the many, many reasons why you will always be my favourite. *grin*
I have a fic, a TERRIBLE HEINOUS WRITTEN IN TWENTY MINUTES fic here I was wondering if you would look through very quickly
It is a bandom-Harry Potter fusion
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:30):
;alskdjfklsajdf
GIVE ME
Kate says (01:30):
and it is the spawn of the devil
*laughs* OK!
Transfer of "hogwarts AU.docx" is complete.
Kate says (01:31):
my Google-fu tells me that Harry was born in 1980, and Tyson was born in 1985, so would be a first year to Harry's fifth year, but then there are other bandom character dotted around, and I pretty much just took a wild stab in the dark ("PETE! HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU WHAT AN AWESOME SIXTH-YEAR YOU WOULD MAKE?")
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:32):
omg
Kate says (01:32):
*g*
??
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:32):
Pete-as-a-sixth-year sounds amazing
Kate says (01:32):
wait till you read this awful, evil thing
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:46):
XD <3
ok finished
;alekjdf;alksjd;fklasd;klsj
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:47):
I DEMAND *MORE*
NOW
Kate says (01:47):
OMG YOU ACTUALLY LIKED IT
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:47):
FUCK SLEEP.OBEY MY WHIMS.
Kate says (01:47):
ZOMGZOMGZOMG
\0/ \0/ \0/
YOU ARE MISSING THE CRAZY DANCE OF GLEE I'M DOING RIGHT NOW
IT IS A THING OF WONDROUS AND FRIGHTENING BEAUTY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:47):
<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kate says (01:47):
It wasn't too confusing and complicated and weird?
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:47):
NO IT WAS AMAZING
INCESTUOUS PUREBLOODS OMG
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:48):
EXCEPT NOT, LOL
;alskjdf;lkasjd;flkjs
Kate says (01:48):
*GRINNING LIKE A LUNATIC, OMG*
WITH THE MELISSA SEAL OF APPROVAL, THIS MEANS I CAN *POST* IT
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:48):
YOU CAN
D:LFKA:LKDF:ALDKF
MOOOOOORE PLEEEEEEASE
Kate says (01:48):
\0\ /0/ \0/
Kate says (01:49):
BUT IT IS FINISHED!
IT IS A STANDALONE
BUT FOR YOU
BABY
FOR YOU, I WILL WRITE DRABBLES IN THIS UNIVERSE FOREVER
AND LONGER STORIES FOR BIRTHDAYS AND CHRISTMAS AND ANNIVERSARIES
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:49):
AND THAT IS ALL I ASK FOR
*SNUGGLE*
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:50):
I REALLY REALLY WANT TYSON FALLING IN LOVE WITH NICK WHILST NICK IS BUSY BEING A CHASER BY CATCHING HIS EYE, AND THEN NICK FALLING OFF OF HIS BROOM
FALLING OFF IN *LOVE*
Kate says (01:50):
OMG
OMG OMG OMG
NICK BEING A CHASER
OMG
ILUUUUU
THAT IS AWESOME
Kate says (01:51):
TYSON IS WICKED GOOD AT CHARMS, BTW
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:51):
HE'S JUST A HEALTHY ATHLETIC AMERICAN BOY
SO TY CATCHES HIM?
Kate says (01:51):
HE CLEARLY CATCHES NICK WITH ONE OF - HIVE
HIVE MF HIVE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:51):
XD!
\O/
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:51):
(I want half the school to have inappropriate crushes on Chris)
("He knows HARRY POTTER donchaknow?")
Kate says (01:52):
BECAUSE HE IS GRYFFINDOR'S RESERVE KEEPER AND HE'S NOT RON WEASLEY, WHO IS SCARY AND ALSO GINGER AND ALSO TAKEN
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:52):
AND ALSO GINGER
CHRIS IS SOMETIMES, IN THE RIGHT LIGHT, STRAWBERRY BLONDE
AND PETE IS CREEPY OVER PATRICK, Y/Y?
Kate says (01:53):
OMG YES YES YES
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:53):
AND THE PROFESSORS ARE TRYING IN THEIR REPRESSED WAY TO BE LIKE "PETE IT'S STATUTORY RAPE DO NOT BE SO OBVIOUS"
Kate says (01:53):
I HAVE THIS WHOLE VERSE PLANNED OUT IN MY HEAD FOR THEM
EXCEPT FOR SNAPE
WHO IS ALL "IF YOU FUCK HIM THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY WENTZ. HELL."
PETE IS VAGUELY TRAUMATISED THAT SNAPE EVEN KNOWS WHAT SEX IS
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:54):
"IF YOU KISS STUMP IN DETENTION AGAIN, WENTZ, I WILL *CHEMICALLY CASTRATE* YOU!"
Kate says (01:54):
OH EM EFF GEE
YES YES YES
THAT IS SO FUCKING AWESOME
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:54):
AND THEN HE GOES AND GRUMPILY STARES AT GEE'S ARSE WHILST GRUMPING OVER TEA?
Kate says (01:54):
AHAHAHAHA SNAPE HAS THE INAPPROPRIATE MANCRUSH ON GEE
WHO WORKS AT THE SCHOOL BECAUSE HE WAS MAD DEPENDENT ON POTIONS FOR A TIME THERE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:54):
I can imagine Snape being SO FUCKING PISSED at being attracted at all to anyone
Kate says (01:54):
POTIONS AND FIREWHISKEY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:54):
AS:LDF:LAKSD:FLKASDFK
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:55):
FELIX FELICIS?
OR WATEVS
Kate says (01:55):
OH FUCK YES
THIS UNIVERSE, I LOVE IT SO MUCH ALREADY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:55):
I DO TOO KATE, I DO TOO.
Kate says (01:55):
GAH
SNAPE/GERARD
ASDKF;A
FRAAANK
WE HAVE FORGOTTEN FRAAAAAANK
WHO IS CLEARLY IN MIKEY'S YEAR
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:55):
THEY'D BE ALL GREASY TOGETHER ;_;
Kate says (01:55):
AND PINES FROM AFAR
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:55):
FRANK/BOB/RAY?
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:56):
JUST UNTIL IT'S GERARD/FRANK?
Kate says (01:56):
BOB/MIKEY
ALL THE WAY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:56):
aww, I love platonic-but-still-sexy-threesomes XD
Kate says (01:56):
BOB IS IN HUFFLEPUFF SEVENTH-YEAR
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:56):
IDEK I JUST LOVE BOB
Kate says (01:56):
OMG YES THEY ARE TOTALLY INSEPERABLE
INSEPARABLE*
JUST NOT HAVING THE SEXYTIEMZ
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:56):
MNNNUUUH EXACTLY
Kate says (01:57):
BOB IS HUFFLEPUFF AND NO ONE CAN WORK OUT HOW HE CAN MAKE MIKEYWAY GO WEAK AT THE KNEES
BECAUSE HE IS IN HUFFLEPUFF
AND MIKEY IS AWESOME AND COOL AND SHARP-HIPPED AND SLYTHERIN
AND A TOTAL GOOF FOR BOB
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:57):
I WANT HARRY TO HAVE ONE OF HIS "OH VOLDY NO!" MOMENTS, AND THEN THE SCHOOL TO BE LIKE "DID YOU *SEE* THE WAY PETE AND GABE AND TRAVIE WERE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER? *POOR* PATRICK!"
Kate says (01:57):
AHAHAHAHA YES
Kate says (01:58):
AND HARRY TO BE ALL, "ER, GUYS, FREAKING OUT HERE"
AND EVERYONE TO BE LIKE, "ONE SECOND. THOSE CALLOUS BASTARDS! SORRY HARRY, WHERE WERE WE?"
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:58):
AND HERMIONE AND GINNY TO BE LIKE "DO YOU THINK WE COULD EVER BE THAT SKINNY? OR POLYJUICE OURSELVES INTO VICKY-T? JUST ONE NIGHT. IT'S ALL I NEED."
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:59):
"ONE NIGHT, A MEMORY FOREVER."
OOOMMMGGG
Kate says (01:59):
OMFG
VICKY-T
AKJJDSF;A
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:59):
WOULD PETE GET A BUNCH OF POETRY THAT READS ITSELF OUT OVER BREAKFAST?
Kate says (01:59):
HARRY THERE ALL, "GUYS. *GUYS!!!*"
YES YES YES HE WOULD TOTALLY SEND PATRICK THESE LOVESICK HOWLERS THE WHOLE TIME
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:59):
LIKE, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO BE ALL "MY SOUL IS LYRICAL LIKE YOURS."
BUT THAT TOO!
Kate says (01:59):
PATRICK HAS LEARNT HOW TO INCINERATE THEM ON SIGHT
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (01:59):
PATRICK IS AMAZING
Kate says (02:00):
OH EM EFF GEE YES YESSSSS
SOMEHOW, THE DECAYDANCE BUNCH RULE THE SCHOOL
DESPITE HARRY POTTER BEING THERE
COURTNEY BECKETT (WHO IS A PHOTOGRAPHER BY TRADE) TOTALLY DESPISES THE CREEVEY BROTHERS
"AMATEURISTIC TWITS"
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:01):
"YOU CALL THAT *EXPOSURE???!!!*"
Kate says (02:01):
"WHAT KIND OF IDIOTS ARE YOU!?"
HEEE, AND WHEN BILL GETS THERE
A TINY, SKINNY BUNDLE OF AWESOME AND SNARK
OH GOOD EVER LOVING GOD, THE PANIC BOYS
JON ARRIVES WITH BILL
Kate says (02:02):
THEN BRENDON AND RYAN
AND THEN SPENCER
PETE ADOPTS THEM INSTANTLY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:02):
SPENCER
A:KLSDJFLKA:LSDJF:A
HOGWARTS WOULD BE COVERED IN ROSES AND CHINTZ WITHIN *SECONDS*
Kate says (02:02):
(PETE MAY HAVE TO BE A FIFTH YEAR, OR HE WILL HAVE GONE BY THE TIME - UNLESS HE STAYS ON? TEACHERS HAVING DIED IN THE INTERIM - OMG OMG OMG HE TOTALLY STAYS ON AS THE NEW CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES TEACHER)
Kate says (02:03):
AHAAHHAHAHA DUDE, RYAN
HE'S ONLY A FIRST YEAR AND ALREADY SCARVES AND EMO FRINGES ARE CATCHING ON
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:03):
PEOPLE JUST LOVE HIM COMPLETELY AND GIVE HIM CAKES
Kate says (02:03):
HARRY'S THERE LIKE "WHY DID NO ONE EVER LISTEN TO ME LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS A FIRST YEAR?"
AND HERMIONE'S ALL "YOU JUST DIDN'T HAVE THEIR CONFIDENCE HARRY *PATPAT*"
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:04):
AND PATRICK AND SPENCER EMO TOGETHER BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY'RE FAT BUT SHOULDN'T ROSS BE FAT? HE EATS SO MUCH CAKE T_T
Kate says (02:04):
AND YET HE IS ALL SKINNY AND SHARP-HIPPED AND A LITTLE BIT TOO LIKE A MINI-MIKEY IN THE MAKING
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:04):
LIKE, MAYBE JUST ONE NIGHT. TWO PASSING SOULS, A MOMENT OF SHARED EMOTION
Kate says (02:04):
PETE ACTUALLY CALLS HIM MINI-MIKEY
MIKEY IS NOT AMUSED
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:04):
ASKLAD:KLJFKLASJDFIKL
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:05):
KATE
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
Kate says (02:05):
I HAVE NO IDEA
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:05):
AND WHERE ARE THE JOBROS IN THIS???
Kate says (02:05):
THIS UNIVERSE IS HEINOUS
AND ALSO ENTIRELY IN CAPSLOCK
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:05):
*KEVIN*
Kate says (02:05):
OH EM EFF GEE
KEVIN
KEVIN AND MIKE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:05):
SO FUCKING BAD AT EVERYTHING, HIM AND NEVILLE EAT ICE CREAM AT MIDNIGHT AND CRY TOGETHER OVER SNAPES COMMENTS
Kate says (02:05):
TINY, CURLY, HUFFLEPUFFING KEVIN
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:06):
ASLD:FKA:LSDJF:ASLDJFA
Kate says (02:06):
ASDJKF;ASDFKA;DGH[ NEV AND KEV
THE NEW HOGWARTS MENTOR SCHEME
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:06):
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH LKAJSDFKLJALKDFJALKSDJF
Kate says (02:06):
THE ONLY THING KEVIN IS GOOD AT IS, LIKE, CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES
HE IS PETE'S FAVOURITE FOR THIS REASON
AND POSSIBLY HAS SOMETHING UNLIKELY WITH A LOT OF TEETH WHICH FOLLOWS HIM ROUND
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:07):
;alkakdl;sjfal;ksdjf;klasjdfasd
Kate says (02:13):
OMG OMG OMG DUDE
KEVIN JONAS AT HOGWARTS
BEING FAILY AND ADORABLE AND CRUSHING ON MIKE CARDEN
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:14):
OANSDKFJAKLDJSFALKSDFJ
KATE
Kate says (02:14):
ESPECIALLY SINCE KEVIN WILL ARRIVE AFTER THE VANQUISHMENT OF VOLDEMORT WHEN MIKE IS IN, LIKE, FIFTH YEAR
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:14):
WHAT IF HIS PARENTS HAVE DISOWNED HIM?
Kate says (02:14):
AND ALL WILL BE AWESOME
AJSKDFL;ASLKJASDFKJ FOR BEING ~MAGICAL?
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:14):
BECAUSE MAGIC IS AGAINST THE BIBLE
Kate says (02:14):
HIIIIIIVE
HIS PARENTS HAVE DISOWNED HIM
HIS BROTHERS HAVE NOT
Kate says (02:15):
THEY HAVE SECRETED AN OWL IN THE GARDEN
AND ARE WRITING TO HIM
SECRETLY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:15):
;alkdsjfkajsdfklajs;dflkjas
O.M.G
Kate says (02:15):
I KNOW.
I. KNOW.
AND THEN NICK AND TYSON ARE FALLING IN LOVE AND ARE LIKE, THE POSTER CHILDREN FOR LOVE AND AFFECTION AND ~RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE NICK IS TOTALLY INTO TYSON AND TYSON IS TOTALLY INTO NICK
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:16):
AND *EVERYONE* IS LIKE "KEVIN OMG! LET ME LOVE YOU! YOU POOR THING. HOW CAN YOU DEAL WITHOUT YOUR FAMILY??!" AND HARRY IS LIKE "*SINGLE EMO TEAR*"
AND OMG. NICK N TY
Kate says (02:16):
AND KEVIN KEEPS KIND OF STARING AT THEM LIKE "WHY CAN'T I HAVE THAT?" AND MIKE IS ALL, "IF YOU KEEP STARING AT RITTER, PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET THE WRONG IDEA" AND KEVIN IS ALL "AAAAAH!!! DON'T SNEAK UP ON PEOPLE LIKE THAT!!"
Kate says (02:17):
HASN'T HARRY LEFT AT THIS POINT? ASDJKFALS; IF HARRY'S LEFT IT MEANS - NICK IS IN SEVENTH YEAR, AND THAT WORKS OUT KIND OF PERFECTLY
PETE IS THERE AS, LIKE, CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES TEACHER
BECAUSE PATRICK IS STILL THERE
AND PETE IS THE SKEEVY TEACHER PERVING ON HIS STUDENTS
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:17):
O.M.G
Kate says (02:17):
MIKEY IS HANGING AROUND BECAUSE GERARD LIVES THERE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:17):
WITH OCCASIONAL RAUCOUS RAVES IN THE SHACK WITH GABE AND TRAVIE?
Kate says (02:17):
YESSSSS
THOUGH GABE AND TRAVIS HAVE TO FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT
Kate says (02:18):
BECAUSE OF BILVY
*SOLEMN NOD*
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:18):
THE FIRST TIME THAT HAPPENS, ALL THE DORMS ARE SEARCHED WHILST THE PROFS ARE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT *WHERE* THaT GOFAWFUL NOISE IS
GODAWFUL*
Kate says (02:18):
AHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSS
THEY THINK IT'S THE RESULT OF A TERRIBLE SPELL GONE WRONG, OR POSSIBLY AN ANIMAL IN PAIN
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:18):
XDDDDD INJURED HIPPOGRIFF EATING A CENTAUR
Kate says (02:18):
IT'S ONLY WHEN THEY GO DOWN TO EX-HAGRID'S SHACK TO ASK FOR PETE'S PROFESSIONAL OPINION THAT THEY REALISE THE ~TRUTH
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:19):
XDDDDD
THIS VERSE.
Kate says (02:19):
IT IS AWESOMELY HEINOUS
THOUGH I'M LEANING MORE TOWARDS HEINOUSLY AWESOME
TENTATIVELY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:19):
I'M JUST QUIETLY EXPLODING
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:20):
CAN YOU *IMAGINE* PATRICK BEING SUPER SHY AND LIKE, HIM AND PETE OUTSIDE OF A DANCE AND PETE BEING QUIET FOR ONCE AND PATRICK LIGHTING UP THEIR HIDING PLACE WITH DELICATE LITTLE LIGHTS AND LOOKING HOPEFULLLL
Kate says (02:20):
YULE BAAAALLL
AND PATRICK IS STILL AN ICKLE FIRSTIE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:20):
BECAUSE APPARENTLY FAIRY LIGHTS = TWUUUU LUVVVVV
Kate says (02:20):
AND PETE IS THE SKEEVY SIXTH YEAR
Kate says (02:21):
AND PETE IS ALL "DUDE, I HAVE SOME MORALS, OK?"
AND PATRICK IS ALL "WAITWHATNO!!"
AND THEN THEY REENACT THE SCENE WHEN PATRICK IS IN, LIKE, SIXTH YEAR, AND IT LEADS TO LESS "OMG GROSS" AND MORE *SMOOCH*
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:21):
AWWWW
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:22):
PETE WOULD TOTALLY KISS PATRICK ON THE CHEEK AND BE LIKE, "NOT YET."
AFTER THE FREAK OUT
xd
XD*
Kate says (02:22):
AHAHAHAHAHAHA "I AM SAVING YOU, STUMP. FOR A RAINY DAY AND THE REST OF MY LIFE."
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:23):
"FOR THE TIME WHEN I SAY I COULD PUT YOU IN MY POCKET AND MEAN IT *ONLY* METAPHORICALLY!"
Kate says (02:23):
ASDKJF;ALSAL "STOP WAXING POETIC," PATRICK GRUMPED. "IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE, OK? AND IT WAS DARK. GOD, WHO THINKS FAIRY LIGHTS MEAN TRUE LOVE, ANYWAY?"
Kate says (02:24):
"ANYONE WHO'S BEEN THROUGH PUBERTY," PETE TOLD HIM KINDLY AND SKIPPED OFF BACK TOWARDS THE PARTY.
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:24):
'AKLS;DJFASDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Kate says (02:25):
WHERE DO TRAVIS AND GABE FEATURE IN THIS, ANYWAY?
I'M THINKING TRAVIS IS THE AWESOME!COOL FIFTH YEAR FROM, LIKE, RAVENCLAW
Kate says (02:26):
AND GABE IS, LIKE, THE ASTRONOMY TEACHER
WHO IS *WOUNDED* WHEN BILL IS ALL "YOUR SUBJECT SUCKS"
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:26):
"THE COBRA IS WEAK WITH YOU, YOUNG BECKETT. *LEER*"
OR POSSIBLY JUST, "YOU SUCK. ME. NOW. FOR REALZIES."
Kate says (02:27):
SNAPE AND GABE CORDIALLY LOATHE EACH OTHER
MAINLY BECAUSE SNAPE TRIED TO TAKE THE MORAL HIGH GROUND
AND GABE WAS ALL "DUDE. PRETTY SURE WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH YOUR ASSISTANT IS ILLEGAL IN A COUPLA DIFFERENT COUNTRIES."
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:27):
"BUT NOT THIS ONE, SAPORTA, NOT THIS ONE!"
Kate says (02:28):
"AND WHAT YOU ARE DOING WITH TRAVIS MCCOY IS! AND THE WAY YOU LOOK AT WILLIAM BECKETT SHOULD BE!"
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:28):
*FALLS ABOUT LAUGHING*
Kate says (02:28):
OH SNAPE
YOU ARE SO LULZY WHEN YOU ARE RIGHTEOUSLY INDIGNANT
ABOUT SEXUAL MATTERS
*LE WINK*
Kate says (02:29):
OMG DUMBLEDORE
UNTIL HE GETS KILLED, THAT IS
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:29):
I THINK HE'D TURN TO DRINK
Kate says (02:29):
*LAUGHS. OUT. LOUD. FOR REALZ*
THOSE SHERBERT LEMONS
NOT SO SHERBERTY ANY MORE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:29):
JUST LIKE, HIM AND MCGONOGAL IN HIS OFFICE. "MINERVA, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. MY SCHOOL HAS TURNED INTO A DEN OF INIQUITY. I NEVER THOUGHT THEY'D ALL TAKE TO DEBAUCHERY QUITE SO *WELL*"
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:29):
ROFFFLLLLLLL
Kate says (02:30):
TASTE QUITE STRONGLY OF FIREWHISKEY ACKSHUALLY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:30):
GERARD CAN'T EAT THEM
Kate says (02:30):
AHAHAHAHAHAH "I MEAN, A LITTLE DEBAUCHERY NOW AND THEN IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL - WHY, I REMEMBER, BACK WHEN GRINDELWALD AND I WERE YOUNG-"
"I THINK YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH LEMONS, NOW, ALBUS."
AHAHAHA, NO
Kate says (02:31):
HE PREFERS NOT TO BE AROUND THE HEADMASTER WHEN HE'S IN HIS - AH - WHEN HE'S ALL LEMONED UP
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:31):
XDDDDDDD
Kate says (02:31):
THIS RESULTS IN DISAPPROVING LOOKS FROM SNAPE
AND YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A DISAPPROVING LOOK TILL YOU'VE SEEN ONE FROM SNAPE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:33):
OH! AND PETE WOULD BE THE ONLY ONE WITH A WORKING COMPUTER *AND* INTERNET
HE WOULD HAVE A TUMBLR DEDICATED TO PICTURES OF LIGHT THROUGH PATRICK'S HAIR
AND A TWITTER DETAILING THE NAMES OF THEIR CHILDREN
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:33):
AND EVERY TIME PEOPLE ASK HOW THE FUCK HE'S DOING IT, HERMIONE WOULD BLUSH AND GIGGLE
Kate says (02:33):
HE TOTALLY WOULD
Kate says (02:34):
HE HAS LOADS OF FOLLOWERS TOO
WHO THINK HIM AND PATRICK ARE ADORABLE
PATRICK HAS NO IDEA, BEING A NICELY-BROUGHT-UP PUREBLOOD
TY ISN'T ABOUT TO ENLIGHTEN HIM
WHY GIVE HIS FRIEND THE PAIN OF KNOWING THAT PETE WANTS TO CALL ONE OF THEIR INEVITABLE CHILDREN "GRISABELLA AMOURIA"?
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:35):
O.M.F.G
AND PETE WOULD HAVE TONS OF PICTURES OF THEIR NON-EXISTANT CHILDREN
Kate says (02:35):
DONE THROUGH MORPH_THINGS AND MAGIC
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:35):
MADE UP ON THOSE "MORPH YOUR FACES" SITES
Kate says (02:35):
ASDJFK;A HIVE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:35):
HIVVVVVE
Kate says (02:35):
NO NO NO
HE DID IT WITH A POTION AND A DROP OF PATRICK'S BLOOD
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:35):
;ALKSDJF;LAKJSD;FKSD
Kate says (02:35):
AND THEN TREATED PHOTOS WITH IT
MAGIC!FU
Kate says (02:36):
AND EVERYONE'S LIKE "AW, THEY'RE ADORABLE, ISN'T MORPH_THINGS AMAZING?" AND THEN HE GOES AND CHECKS IT OUT AND SPENDS HOURS MERGING THE MOST UNLIKELY PEOPLE'S FACES
SNAPE AND GABE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:36):
AAAAH
Kate says (02:36):
DUMBLEDORE AND GINNY
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:36):
XDDDDD
CAN YOU IMAGINE
IT WOULD BECOME A GUERILLA MISSION FOR HIM TO STICK UP AS MANY PHOTOS AS HE CAN IN A NIGHT
Kate says (02:37):
OH FUCKING YES
YES YES YES
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:37):
;;LDKJFALKD
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:37):
PEOPLE WOULD BE GROSSED AT HOW NORMAL GERARD AND MIKEY'S KID WOULD LOOK
Kate says (02:37):
ASDJFKA;S YESSS
Kate says (02:38):
THEY'D BE LIKE "WHERE ARE THE TENTACLES?"
"THE SLIMY, INCESTUOUS TENTACLES?"
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:38):
LIKE A BLONDE LITTLE ANGEL AND PEOPLE'D BE "WHERE IS THIS BLONDE COMING FROM????"
OR
SNAPE AND GABE'S CHILD
WOULD LOOK LIKE GEE
Kate says (02:38):
YESSSS
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:38):
AND THEN PEOPLE WOULD FEEL QUEASY FOR A WHILE
Kate says (02:38):
AJSDK;FA THEY'D BE ALL "o.O
BECAUSE THERE IS A HORRIBLE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE SOMEWHERE WHERE SNAPE IS SCREWING HIS SON BY GABE SAPORTA
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:38):
AND THAT'D BE THE END OF SNAPE'S INAPPROPRIATE CRUSH
Kate says (02:39):
SDJFKL;AS;A YESSSS
AND THAT'S WHEN FRANK MAKES HIS MOOOOOOVE
I'm Bringing Sassy Back says (02:39):
OMGGGGGG
Kate says (02:40):
BASICALLY, THE BANDOM BOYS DO HOGWARTS
AND MAN DO THEY DO IT GOOD.
You were warned! :D