Fic: AAR: Music With Rocks In: Gen
Title: Music With Rocks In
Rating: G
Warnings: None! (O.o)
Word Count: 796
Pairing: Gen
Summary: When Tyson and Nick were younger, they had plans to take over the world. The plan's changed, but the goals are still the same.
Or: "What're we going to do tonight, Brain!?" "What we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world."
AN: Oh, darlings, this is the crack that knows not what it is. Not as bad as my HEINOUS BIGBANG FIC (¬_¬), but bad enough all the same.
Written for whocares19_05 as the fic she donated for over at help_haiti. She asked for an angsty Tyson-moves-to-LA fic. I did talk to her before giving her mad, vaguely Terry Pratchett-esque, Pinky-and-the-Brain-inspired, unashamed crackfic, but I'm still not entirely convinced this was a fair exchange. *grin* I do at least take satisfaction in knowing that our plan to take over the world will be equally successful as (and hopefully faster than, since we're now in competition) AAR's.
**
When Nick and Tyson were, like, fourteen and sixteen (old enough to know better, then), they were going to take over the world.
No, really. They were going to take over the world.
They had a plan for it and everything. Things weren’t quite going their way yet, sure - so far the Secret Lab consisted of some hastily drawn plans (drawn in crayons quietly filched from Tyson’s younger sister and on paper Nick had misappropriated from his parents’ shop, the stuff they wrapped the flowers in; Tyson had won that Evil Round, because really, he had all but actually stolen candy from a baby) tacked to the wall of Tyson’s step-dad’s shed, and they had to manoeuvre round the lawn-mower for any dramatic evil gestures, but they were getting there. Slowly.
One of the plans they had drawn up was the real plan, The Plan, in fact. The others were decoys. They were extremely sneaky decoys. They involved things like detailed diagrams of how best to pour boiling water on one’s enemies and how one might most easily escape a rabid bear. (Nick had drawn in the angles and how fast you’d need to climb the tree to get away, it was awesome.) And then, on one piece of (mauve, it was mauve and Tyson claimed this made it doubly evil, because - mauve) paper, tucked behind one of the others, was a simple little scrap of paper.
It simply read: Win over the children.
They had random bits and pieces pinned up all over the shed, but that bit was the masterplan. One day, the kids would be the grownups. And then the grownups would all think Nick and Tyson were gods, and then they’d be ruling the world.
And aside from the mauveness of the paper, it really wasn’t that evil or that threatening. Tyson’s mom mostly ignored it, and Nick’s parents occasionally asked when he was going to put all that ‘creative energy’ into something useful, but mostly the Secret Lab stayed untouched.
Tyson’s stepdad didn’t mow the lawn all that often.
So, yeah. Nick and Tyson had a plan to take over the world.
And in their spare time they played in this band.
**
It was Tyson who first brought up the idea.
“Hey, dude...”
“Hmm?” Nick glanced at him. It was a soupy-hot day, the air thick and muggy and lying too heavy over the ground, and Nick wasn’t sure he wanted one of Tyson’s crazy ideas to come right now.
“Y’know how we’re going to Take Over The World?” Tyson always managed to make it sound like he was capitalising the words, which was why Tyson was nominally going to be the evil mastermind and Nick was going to be the power behind the throne (“and my gorgeous and nubile concubine!” “Shut up, Tyson.”) - Nick just couldn’t get the hang of it.
“Yeah?”
“We should do it with music.”
“Like ‘say it with flowers’?” Nick asked, dubious.
Tyson considered it briefly. “Yeah. But more evil and - with music.”
“So not much like saying it with flowers then.”
“No, it - look, dude, forget the flowers. It’s nothing to do with flowers. It’s to do with Taking Over The World and doing it with music.”
“You mean, take the band global?”
“Yeah. Global and evil,” Tyson said with relish.
Sometimes Nick thought Tyson liked the ‘evil’ part of their plan just a tiny bit too much. “So we use music to take over the hearts and minds of the young? And then subvert all their youthful hopes and dreams, subsuming them into our will and allowing us to reign as demigods over the entire world until the day we die?”
Tyson paused. “Yeah, pretty much. I mean, demigods, man. That’s what rockstars are, right?”
Nick thought it over. “I’m pretty sure Bon Jovi is,” he said after due consideration. “Thought of an evil name yet?”
“‘Rejects’ is pretty bad-ass,” Tyson suggested, absently picking something out from under his nail.
“Nah, we want them to embrace us, not think we’re the weird kids at the back of the class with the braces and the bad skin.” Nick cocked his head to one side. “How about the All-Americans?”
Tyson nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he paused. “How about both?”
“The Rejected All-Americans?” Nick shook his head. “Nah, man. Too much focus on the reject part.”
“The All-American Rejects,” Tyson said decisively.
Nick raised one eyebrow. “What does that even mean?”
“No idea. But if we don’t know, you can bet that sweet ass that no one else will,” Tyson grinned cheerfully. “And then, my friend, whilst they’re distracted with looking for meaning, we’ll be conquering the world.”
**
As far as plans go, it's pretty sweet. They're freaking rockstars, dude. And when the whole 'demi-god' thing comes good for them, well. They won't even have to let you know.
**
DONE! And done! Hope y'all enjoyed!
Clearly, Pinky and the Brain should have become rockstars. Also, Pinky and the Brain is a totally awesome bandname. Though it implies that Pinky is the frontman. Would Pinky be the frontman? It's been a long time since I watched Pinky and the Brain, and I think maybe he'd be a bit too dappy for it.
Oh, er. Tyson Ritter. Ha, yeah, 'too dappy' to be a frontman, I think there may be no such thing.
I wouldn't say shit like that if I wasn't highly caffeinated and somewhat sleep deprived, would I? Bed.
Rating: G
Warnings: None! (O.o)
Word Count: 796
Pairing: Gen
Summary: When Tyson and Nick were younger, they had plans to take over the world. The plan's changed, but the goals are still the same.
Or: "What're we going to do tonight, Brain!?" "What we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world."
AN: Oh, darlings, this is the crack that knows not what it is. Not as bad as my HEINOUS BIGBANG FIC (¬_¬), but bad enough all the same.
Written for whocares19_05 as the fic she donated for over at help_haiti. She asked for an angsty Tyson-moves-to-LA fic. I did talk to her before giving her mad, vaguely Terry Pratchett-esque, Pinky-and-the-Brain-inspired, unashamed crackfic, but I'm still not entirely convinced this was a fair exchange. *grin* I do at least take satisfaction in knowing that our plan to take over the world will be equally successful as (and hopefully faster than, since we're now in competition) AAR's.
**
When Nick and Tyson were, like, fourteen and sixteen (old enough to know better, then), they were going to take over the world.
No, really. They were going to take over the world.
They had a plan for it and everything. Things weren’t quite going their way yet, sure - so far the Secret Lab consisted of some hastily drawn plans (drawn in crayons quietly filched from Tyson’s younger sister and on paper Nick had misappropriated from his parents’ shop, the stuff they wrapped the flowers in; Tyson had won that Evil Round, because really, he had all but actually stolen candy from a baby) tacked to the wall of Tyson’s step-dad’s shed, and they had to manoeuvre round the lawn-mower for any dramatic evil gestures, but they were getting there. Slowly.
One of the plans they had drawn up was the real plan, The Plan, in fact. The others were decoys. They were extremely sneaky decoys. They involved things like detailed diagrams of how best to pour boiling water on one’s enemies and how one might most easily escape a rabid bear. (Nick had drawn in the angles and how fast you’d need to climb the tree to get away, it was awesome.) And then, on one piece of (mauve, it was mauve and Tyson claimed this made it doubly evil, because - mauve) paper, tucked behind one of the others, was a simple little scrap of paper.
It simply read: Win over the children.
They had random bits and pieces pinned up all over the shed, but that bit was the masterplan. One day, the kids would be the grownups. And then the grownups would all think Nick and Tyson were gods, and then they’d be ruling the world.
And aside from the mauveness of the paper, it really wasn’t that evil or that threatening. Tyson’s mom mostly ignored it, and Nick’s parents occasionally asked when he was going to put all that ‘creative energy’ into something useful, but mostly the Secret Lab stayed untouched.
Tyson’s stepdad didn’t mow the lawn all that often.
So, yeah. Nick and Tyson had a plan to take over the world.
And in their spare time they played in this band.
**
It was Tyson who first brought up the idea.
“Hey, dude...”
“Hmm?” Nick glanced at him. It was a soupy-hot day, the air thick and muggy and lying too heavy over the ground, and Nick wasn’t sure he wanted one of Tyson’s crazy ideas to come right now.
“Y’know how we’re going to Take Over The World?” Tyson always managed to make it sound like he was capitalising the words, which was why Tyson was nominally going to be the evil mastermind and Nick was going to be the power behind the throne (“and my gorgeous and nubile concubine!” “Shut up, Tyson.”) - Nick just couldn’t get the hang of it.
“Yeah?”
“We should do it with music.”
“Like ‘say it with flowers’?” Nick asked, dubious.
Tyson considered it briefly. “Yeah. But more evil and - with music.”
“So not much like saying it with flowers then.”
“No, it - look, dude, forget the flowers. It’s nothing to do with flowers. It’s to do with Taking Over The World and doing it with music.”
“You mean, take the band global?”
“Yeah. Global and evil,” Tyson said with relish.
Sometimes Nick thought Tyson liked the ‘evil’ part of their plan just a tiny bit too much. “So we use music to take over the hearts and minds of the young? And then subvert all their youthful hopes and dreams, subsuming them into our will and allowing us to reign as demigods over the entire world until the day we die?”
Tyson paused. “Yeah, pretty much. I mean, demigods, man. That’s what rockstars are, right?”
Nick thought it over. “I’m pretty sure Bon Jovi is,” he said after due consideration. “Thought of an evil name yet?”
“‘Rejects’ is pretty bad-ass,” Tyson suggested, absently picking something out from under his nail.
“Nah, we want them to embrace us, not think we’re the weird kids at the back of the class with the braces and the bad skin.” Nick cocked his head to one side. “How about the All-Americans?”
Tyson nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he paused. “How about both?”
“The Rejected All-Americans?” Nick shook his head. “Nah, man. Too much focus on the reject part.”
“The All-American Rejects,” Tyson said decisively.
Nick raised one eyebrow. “What does that even mean?”
“No idea. But if we don’t know, you can bet that sweet ass that no one else will,” Tyson grinned cheerfully. “And then, my friend, whilst they’re distracted with looking for meaning, we’ll be conquering the world.”
**
As far as plans go, it's pretty sweet. They're freaking rockstars, dude. And when the whole 'demi-god' thing comes good for them, well. They won't even have to let you know.
**
DONE! And done! Hope y'all enjoyed!
Clearly, Pinky and the Brain should have become rockstars. Also, Pinky and the Brain is a totally awesome bandname. Though it implies that Pinky is the frontman. Would Pinky be the frontman? It's been a long time since I watched Pinky and the Brain, and I think maybe he'd be a bit too dappy for it.
Oh, er. Tyson Ritter. Ha, yeah, 'too dappy' to be a frontman, I think there may be no such thing.
I wouldn't say shit like that if I wasn't highly caffeinated and somewhat sleep deprived, would I? Bed.