The End of an Era
Well, my bachelor-hood doesn't technically end until October, but just today, I was thinking about it, because last night as I was leaving Bellatrix's apartment, she mentioned to me that it would be the last time she ever had to send me off from that front door.
I'm not upset about this, mind you... I'm just really stunned. I guess there are many times when big changes come and go, and you never really notice, because you're so caught up in dealing with whatever it is and adjusting. At least, that's the way it is with me.
Some five years ago, I moved to Tucson, Arizona on nothing more than a whim. No preparation, no planning, not even a definate place to live; I was somehow so sure that I needed to be here. Looking back on it, I can't believe how crazy I was, nor how lucky that everything worked out in the end. And I never really thought about how much my life was changing, because I was struggling to keep my head above water, so I could remain close to the woman I love.
But this time, I actually stopped and realized how things are just blowing by me, as they usually do, before they actually have. Today is not such a milestone, in the grand scheme of things... the moving guys are coming to take Bellatrix's stuff (along with some of mine) up to our new house.
Soon, I'll be moving up there myself, taking my stuff and my cat, extending my daily commute to and from work from like 3 miles each way to something like 16 or 17. Then, Bellatrix and I will start trying to put our lives together, so that when they become one in October, we'll be prepared. This is a huge thing, and though it's not that ultimate day when we're married, I guess to me it just feels like this is the beginning of the final countdown.. when the winds of change really begin to howl, leaving something completely different in their wake than was there before.
I'm not even sure I have a point... nor am I sure why I suddenly, in the middle of my workday, popped open a Notepad window and started typing this up. But for some reason, I felt the need to put all this into words.
I'm not upset about this, mind you... I'm just really stunned. I guess there are many times when big changes come and go, and you never really notice, because you're so caught up in dealing with whatever it is and adjusting. At least, that's the way it is with me.
Some five years ago, I moved to Tucson, Arizona on nothing more than a whim. No preparation, no planning, not even a definate place to live; I was somehow so sure that I needed to be here. Looking back on it, I can't believe how crazy I was, nor how lucky that everything worked out in the end. And I never really thought about how much my life was changing, because I was struggling to keep my head above water, so I could remain close to the woman I love.
But this time, I actually stopped and realized how things are just blowing by me, as they usually do, before they actually have. Today is not such a milestone, in the grand scheme of things... the moving guys are coming to take Bellatrix's stuff (along with some of mine) up to our new house.
Soon, I'll be moving up there myself, taking my stuff and my cat, extending my daily commute to and from work from like 3 miles each way to something like 16 or 17. Then, Bellatrix and I will start trying to put our lives together, so that when they become one in October, we'll be prepared. This is a huge thing, and though it's not that ultimate day when we're married, I guess to me it just feels like this is the beginning of the final countdown.. when the winds of change really begin to howl, leaving something completely different in their wake than was there before.
I'm not even sure I have a point... nor am I sure why I suddenly, in the middle of my workday, popped open a Notepad window and started typing this up. But for some reason, I felt the need to put all this into words.