I have this urge...
To ruin your life like you did mine...
Fuck...so much hatred and bitterness surrounds me because of your stupid ass...I fucking hate you so much...
Even though I am happy with no regrets I just want to...ugh I need to vent I need to get it all out so I can just forget your worthless ass and erase you from my life like you erased me from yours so fucking easily...you made me feel like I wasn't worth anything like I could never find someone to make me happy again..you made me feel so ugly and gross so many times...I don't regret anything in my life but you..I regret you...I regret the day I met you back in 2007 I regret being friends with you...I regret dating you and spending money on you...I regret placing all my dreams and my heart in your hands and taking you back three fucking times when I knew you were nothing but a liar the promises the empty promises of never hurting me again still loom over my like a dark cloud and I know you read and are probably going to say some dumb shit in your journal but I really don't care I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ANYMORE! I regret YOU I wish I had never met you...
Yeah I might not be as smart as most people but I know what love is and I know what being played feels like and I hate you for doing it all to me I hate you Katlen I fucking hate you and I hope you end up alone and realize that you lost someone amazing and I know I am not skinny but that doesn't mean I don't deserve a chance because I don't have a fucking dick when you told me you were gay! I don't care if that love isn't about gender or orientation if you weren't sure then shouldn't have said you were gay you could have said "Jessica I'm not sure what I am." instead of saying you were gay until he came along. I would have been okay with that I really would have. I know for one that love is about personality not looks or gender or orientation but I still think it was fucked up of you to do that to me. That hurts the most is you lied to me about that and I will never be able to forgive you for it.
I am so bitter and angry at you and I always be I can't tell myself I won't be because that's not true I always be you will never understand what you put me through and the fact that you didn't even care kills me inside even more.
Yeah I know I fucked up because I said I would come see you and I didn't make it but I don't just get money handed to me when I ask I have to work for it, I HAD TO WORK FOR IT I got distant near the end of us because I knew what was going on I play stupid but I am actually very smart and what you did was low even for you I know you don't regret hurting me in fact you probably got enjoyment out of seeing me so depressed and upset over losing you its what you wanted but you know what? no more I'm not like that anymore IF YOU EVER WANT TO BE MY FRIEND YOU WILL HAVE TO EARN MY TRUST AGAIN AND IT WILL TAKE YOU A LONG ASS TIME TO EARN IT BACK though you probably won't even try because I know you and you don't care enough to try
I'm done though I hope you think about me and I hope you feel like shit if your so-called friend relays my journal entries to you.
Fuck...so much hatred and bitterness surrounds me because of your stupid ass...I fucking hate you so much...
Even though I am happy with no regrets I just want to...ugh I need to vent I need to get it all out so I can just forget your worthless ass and erase you from my life like you erased me from yours so fucking easily...you made me feel like I wasn't worth anything like I could never find someone to make me happy again..you made me feel so ugly and gross so many times...I don't regret anything in my life but you..I regret you...I regret the day I met you back in 2007 I regret being friends with you...I regret dating you and spending money on you...I regret placing all my dreams and my heart in your hands and taking you back three fucking times when I knew you were nothing but a liar the promises the empty promises of never hurting me again still loom over my like a dark cloud and I know you read and are probably going to say some dumb shit in your journal but I really don't care I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ANYMORE! I regret YOU I wish I had never met you...
Yeah I might not be as smart as most people but I know what love is and I know what being played feels like and I hate you for doing it all to me I hate you Katlen I fucking hate you and I hope you end up alone and realize that you lost someone amazing and I know I am not skinny but that doesn't mean I don't deserve a chance because I don't have a fucking dick when you told me you were gay! I don't care if that love isn't about gender or orientation if you weren't sure then shouldn't have said you were gay you could have said "Jessica I'm not sure what I am." instead of saying you were gay until he came along. I would have been okay with that I really would have. I know for one that love is about personality not looks or gender or orientation but I still think it was fucked up of you to do that to me. That hurts the most is you lied to me about that and I will never be able to forgive you for it.
I am so bitter and angry at you and I always be I can't tell myself I won't be because that's not true I always be you will never understand what you put me through and the fact that you didn't even care kills me inside even more.
Yeah I know I fucked up because I said I would come see you and I didn't make it but I don't just get money handed to me when I ask I have to work for it, I HAD TO WORK FOR IT I got distant near the end of us because I knew what was going on I play stupid but I am actually very smart and what you did was low even for you I know you don't regret hurting me in fact you probably got enjoyment out of seeing me so depressed and upset over losing you its what you wanted but you know what? no more I'm not like that anymore IF YOU EVER WANT TO BE MY FRIEND YOU WILL HAVE TO EARN MY TRUST AGAIN AND IT WILL TAKE YOU A LONG ASS TIME TO EARN IT BACK though you probably won't even try because I know you and you don't care enough to try
I'm done though I hope you think about me and I hope you feel like shit if your so-called friend relays my journal entries to you.