I was trying to figure out how to express this feeling...

[xantus]

but it appears it already is written.

Comments

[raverpup]

Hmmm, I don't really agree. While I think that the author is correct that not having adequate opportunity to let your sexuality mature during adolescence is definitely not beneficial, and leads to things like obsession with youth, I also don't think all gay men are sex addicts. In fact, I've probably known more gay guys who are capable of having monogamous, mature sexual relationships than those of the type described by the author

[lord_kook]

But... but... self-loathing is what I base my entire personality on.

[raverpup]

When you write "However, that doesn't address the fact that there are a lot of people my age running around who were so repressed as children that they attach themselves to a social group which is almost defined by it's sexual behavior without any interest in commitment or healthy affection," I'm not sure how to draw the connection between sexual repression as adolescents and later sexual behavior. After all, I grew up among Baptist fundamentalists, was about as severely sexually repressed as you can be, and, nonetheless, have always been pretty much straight-up monogamous - in some ways, I would say that sexual repression acted, in my case, to make me less sexually outgoing than many of my peers

[xantus]

well, for one. the time of the post reflects much of it's actual weight in my mind. there were a couple paragraphs that just clicked with me in the night, so I ended up just linking the whole thing.

I started out in the camp of selectively hand picking relationships through the shield of the internet. Now every day I have a bigger desire to meet people in a real manner, without all the pretense of the interweb. I've never been on a 'date' and it's always been too easy to just jump to sex.

I want to prove that I have some self control.
I'm also in heat.

these ideas clash daily. news at 11.

[lord_kook]

It's easy to jump into sex everywhere, dear. The intarweb just happens to be full of people that have even less self-control/social consciousness/self-esteem than even the most chi-chi Castro queen. While we're all desperate for touch and connection, there are certain places where we're so desperate we've forgotten how to play the other games (if we even learned at all).

Don't be too hard on yourself. Yer still a youngin': you've got a long time to learn, and as those lovely producers of smokey-tokes said: You've come a long way, baby.

*nodnodnods*

[lord_kook]

This is why I say I 'hate gay people'. I hate the whole idea of 'being gay' because the phrase itself adds weight and power to the not-neurosis of our sexuality that the guy in the article was talking about. It IS a neurosis. We're not damaged by being attractive to the same sex, but we are damaged by the way that attraction is dealt with on a global scale. Damaged goods from the get-go, and the best we can hope to make of it is finding a decent outlet for that boogie-angst.

[cosmogonic]

It looks like I'm the only queer in the entire world who frequently, uh, "expressed" it growing up. Lonely, so lonely.