Grocery-store madlibs
So, if I worked a register at a grocery store, I'd totally play a game in which I mentally combined the items each customer was purchasing.
Because really, when a customer buys a rotisserie chicken, a gallon of bleach, and some Sunny D, you gotta wonder. Or when they walk up to you with a plunger, some batteries, and chocolate ice cream. Mom once sent me to the store to buy A SINGLE CUCUMBER, and I insisted on getting some lettuce and milk and stuff as well, because OMG, how mortifying. (Yes, yes, clerks don't actually play this game, and I'm just being paranoid to assume they would. I know all that. But still, if purchasing a single cucumber doesn't seem strange, suspicious, or outright obscene to you...)
Today, the guy behind me at Safeway -- and this is during the dinnertime rush, mind you, not a CVS-late-at-night kind of purchase -- was buying enema kits. FOUR of them. Maybe five: I had to look away to not laugh. Maybe this is only funny because I sleep-deprived myself again, but I cannot for the life of me figure out why you'd need more than one. Maybe two, for some -extreme- medical problem. But FOUR?
Because really, when a customer buys a rotisserie chicken, a gallon of bleach, and some Sunny D, you gotta wonder. Or when they walk up to you with a plunger, some batteries, and chocolate ice cream. Mom once sent me to the store to buy A SINGLE CUCUMBER, and I insisted on getting some lettuce and milk and stuff as well, because OMG, how mortifying. (Yes, yes, clerks don't actually play this game, and I'm just being paranoid to assume they would. I know all that. But still, if purchasing a single cucumber doesn't seem strange, suspicious, or outright obscene to you...)
Today, the guy behind me at Safeway -- and this is during the dinnertime rush, mind you, not a CVS-late-at-night kind of purchase -- was buying enema kits. FOUR of them. Maybe five: I had to look away to not laugh. Maybe this is only funny because I sleep-deprived myself again, but I cannot for the life of me figure out why you'd need more than one. Maybe two, for some -extreme- medical problem. But FOUR?