On HP fanfiction
First off, I wish to make it clear that I don't consider my own fanfiction writing - and characterization - skill to be anything above average. I don't claim to be better than anyone, but as I was wasting a little time earlier, reading through a bunch of fics (time travel, hpdm, hpss, bit of everything), I gradually felt my patience grow thin. Let's jump straight into my "concerns":
1. Why, please why, can't people at least TRY to keep everyone in character!? I very much can NOT imagine McGonagall introducing herself by way of saying "please call me Minnie". Nor that Dumbledore would use the word "stuff" to describe anything. Possibly when quoting someone with a bit of humor; but in serious conversation? God, please why do you do this to me! Oh, that's right, you don't exist...
2. The way of describing Snape in Snapecentric fics. "Ebony orbs", "silky strands"... Fanon!Snape kills me. Let me be the first to say that I don't regard Snape as with "yellow teeth, greasy hair, ugly nose", because I believe that to be the slightly subjective view his students have of him. But to write him into some kind of aristocratic SEX GOD!? That's a far shot. He's not even pure blood for godssake! There is no effing "Snape Mannor", he is in all probability not fluent in French, he and Salazar Slytherin does not practise table manners together, and he does. not. have. an. effing. MANOR! GAAH. This drives me nuts, this one. Can you tell?
3. Über!Draco fucks me. Downplaying his bad traits (childishness for example; making him into some super-mature extra-well-mannered fucking pureblood prince of Slytherin with like TEH table manners) and gloryfying his entire person. That annoys me so bad I get urges to KILL every time I read it.
4. Not that supermagical!wandless!warddetecting!occlumencymaster!etc!Harry is any better.
5. Dark!Harry is also very annoying. I was gonna leave it at that, but let's not, actually! I wish to mention all the aspects of Dark!andEvil!Harry that makes me almostliterally spit on the screen. Let's start from the beginning. Oftentimes, the transformation into Dark! begins as a result of Vernon's abuse and/or Harry discovering his (homo)sexuality. He will proceed to grow his hair or, as a twist; point....
6. ....(cont. from point 5) his hair grows by itself overnight (to chinlenght), and he no longer needs his glassess, and he'll grow a few FEET (as well as his fingers getting longer, his hands "more elegant"... like, say.. fanon!Snape's hands? Maybe? Throwing a wild guess?). And maybe, just maybe, if he's lucky enough, he'll even recieve a time!letter from Lily telling him... omg!!11. Cliffhanger. And by then everyone sighs at the "subtle" hints of a severitus!fic. Yes, that's right, Lily and Snape went at it behind James' back. (Or possibly, if in a Dark!Harry fic, Snape raped her. But naturally, they'll be evil father/son-friends at the end anyway.)
Cont. on point 5: Right. So Harry will take up drinking and smoking and most definitely drugs. He'll go clubbing in leather pants and he'll cut himself. Yes yes, never to forget the cutting! He'll hurt himself as sure as he'll be friends with Draco and Blaise Zabini. Harry will all of a sudden have all these witty comebacks to Draco's insults. They'll be so witty, Draco won't even bother anymore. And Harry now knows how to cast super dark spells, like cutting spells and STUFF. That makes no sense, but it doesn't have do, cuz it's DARK!fic. As long as Harry's emo, it's okay! He probably uses said dark spells on the Gryffindors, because they let him down, everyone knows that... er, remind me again? Oh right, in Dark! fic, Dumbledore probably ordered them to act as his friends already from their first day. That's the one. I forgot. That's pure logic, that.
I'm kind of losing track...
Oh, a small addition: the Weasley twins will almost always be on Harry's side. Because people can't seem to write them evil like they apparently can Dumbledore and Ron.
Oh and Ginny is a safe bet in Dark!Harry fics: she's probably Dark! already. Right.
I'll be back with more of these little peeves of mine. There are lots of them.
Note: WELL written dark!Harry, severitus! or even sexgood!Snape CAN be good. REAL good even.
But they usually suck.
1. Why, please why, can't people at least TRY to keep everyone in character!? I very much can NOT imagine McGonagall introducing herself by way of saying "please call me Minnie". Nor that Dumbledore would use the word "stuff" to describe anything. Possibly when quoting someone with a bit of humor; but in serious conversation? God, please why do you do this to me! Oh, that's right, you don't exist...
2. The way of describing Snape in Snapecentric fics. "Ebony orbs", "silky strands"... Fanon!Snape kills me. Let me be the first to say that I don't regard Snape as with "yellow teeth, greasy hair, ugly nose", because I believe that to be the slightly subjective view his students have of him. But to write him into some kind of aristocratic SEX GOD!? That's a far shot. He's not even pure blood for godssake! There is no effing "Snape Mannor", he is in all probability not fluent in French, he and Salazar Slytherin does not practise table manners together, and he does. not. have. an. effing. MANOR! GAAH. This drives me nuts, this one. Can you tell?
3. Über!Draco fucks me. Downplaying his bad traits (childishness for example; making him into some super-mature extra-well-mannered fucking pureblood prince of Slytherin with like TEH table manners) and gloryfying his entire person. That annoys me so bad I get urges to KILL every time I read it.
4. Not that supermagical!wandless!warddetecting!occlumencymaster!etc!Harry is any better.
5. Dark!Harry is also very annoying. I was gonna leave it at that, but let's not, actually! I wish to mention all the aspects of Dark!andEvil!Harry that makes me almostliterally spit on the screen. Let's start from the beginning. Oftentimes, the transformation into Dark! begins as a result of Vernon's abuse and/or Harry discovering his (homo)sexuality. He will proceed to grow his hair or, as a twist; point....
6. ....(cont. from point 5) his hair grows by itself overnight (to chinlenght), and he no longer needs his glassess, and he'll grow a few FEET (as well as his fingers getting longer, his hands "more elegant"... like, say.. fanon!Snape's hands? Maybe? Throwing a wild guess?). And maybe, just maybe, if he's lucky enough, he'll even recieve a time!letter from Lily telling him... omg!!11. Cliffhanger. And by then everyone sighs at the "subtle" hints of a severitus!fic. Yes, that's right, Lily and Snape went at it behind James' back. (Or possibly, if in a Dark!Harry fic, Snape raped her. But naturally, they'll be evil father/son-friends at the end anyway.)
Cont. on point 5: Right. So Harry will take up drinking and smoking and most definitely drugs. He'll go clubbing in leather pants and he'll cut himself. Yes yes, never to forget the cutting! He'll hurt himself as sure as he'll be friends with Draco and Blaise Zabini. Harry will all of a sudden have all these witty comebacks to Draco's insults. They'll be so witty, Draco won't even bother anymore. And Harry now knows how to cast super dark spells, like cutting spells and STUFF. That makes no sense, but it doesn't have do, cuz it's DARK!fic. As long as Harry's emo, it's okay! He probably uses said dark spells on the Gryffindors, because they let him down, everyone knows that... er, remind me again? Oh right, in Dark! fic, Dumbledore probably ordered them to act as his friends already from their first day. That's the one. I forgot. That's pure logic, that.
I'm kind of losing track...
Oh, a small addition: the Weasley twins will almost always be on Harry's side. Because people can't seem to write them evil like they apparently can Dumbledore and Ron.
Oh and Ginny is a safe bet in Dark!Harry fics: she's probably Dark! already. Right.
I'll be back with more of these little peeves of mine. There are lots of them.
Note: WELL written dark!Harry, severitus! or even sexgood!Snape CAN be good. REAL good even.
But they usually suck.