Love & Time (6/6)
-continues from ' if only'-
The sun sends its rays softly down into the trees. the park, quiet, except for the rustle of the breeze.
Yunho looks over at his companion. His eyes are closed, soaking up the sun. it is silent, but a comfortable kind of silence. the kind that tells you that the world is good today, that the moment now, it is perfect.
But still, it has been a month already. And a dull ache inside Yunho's heart reminds him of what had been.
He sighs unknowingly and peers at the grass by his feet.
Changmin hears the sigh and props an eyelid open.
He knows. He had purposely chosen not to talk about it. Then. and then not yet. It just didn't feel like the right time.
But now, it seems, the moment was now.
We Love.
Everything seemed okay. But the cracks, they remained. Light trails of the wounds that bled; that etched themselves deep.
We Leave.
"I left because I couldn't promise you anything. I wasn't ready, Yunho." Changmin's voice comes out in a croak, and he swallows, clearing his throat.
"I know it's a fucked up reason to have gone and done that to you. I'm sorry. It's not enough, but I'm sorry. You were too wonderful, too good. I was just me, just me who kept snapping at you. Kept laughing at you. And yet you smiled through it out. Yet, you loved me."
Changmin sits up, leaning forward on his elbows. He sees a tiny dandelion in the grass, waving its head at him. He focuses on that instead of the presence beside him.
"How do you explain to someone that you were leaving because they were too perfect? Yunho, how? I'm sorry. I didn't deserve you. I hoped.. I hoped by leaving, you would find happiness."
We Take.
"It was my happiness to find, Changmin. Not yours." Yunho replies softly. He trails a finger along his arm. "I was devastated for ages. Then I finally picked myself up. Went out, I met Soo Jin..."
Yunho's heart lurches as he recalls her teary face as they broke up soon after he had met Changmin and Kyuhyun at the cafe. She had no idea, no idea at all - that the reason he had not been able to give all of himself to her was because of the man she had bumped into on the street.
"He better be worth leaving your second chance at happiness for. And second chances don't come easy."
We Give.
Changmin gets up and kneels down in front of Yunho, his eyes, teary. He grasps Yunho's hands with both of his and peers up at him.
"Look at me, Yunho."
"I was a dick. I was young and stupid. I had all these.. these notions of what should be and what should have been. I forgot that in relationships, there are always two parties. Not one. I missed you. I missed you so fucking much. I came back.. I tried to forget you but I returned. I thought I saw you once, while walking on the streets. You seemed happy.."
And Changmin told him about that night he had spotted him at Dong Ho's party. How his smile was still as captivating as ever, how he then saw the cause of that smile; with Yunho as they chatted over champagne.
"So I left. You were happy.."
---
We Love.
Yunho stares at him, memories of that night flowing back into his mind as he recalls feeling a magnetic call in his heart, as he ran out into the streets only to find nothing amidst a sea of strangers and city noises.
"Changmin. It was you that I felt."
The realisation falls like a bomb in between the both of them. That back then, although separated by time and space, two destined souls will always yearn for each other.
We Leave.
Changmin feels tears finally drop. All the months of separation, of loneliness, of darkness, of trying and failing to let go of the pain. Of ignoring and then finally gathering the courage to return to find Yunho. It seeps out into the clear drops that slide its way down his face and onto his shirt.
Yunho drops to his knees beside Changmin and holds his chin, thumb caressing his cheek as he gazes into Changmin's eyes.
He holds Changmin's other hand and raises it to his chest, just over his heart. Metal clinks as the twin rings on their fingers meet.
We Take.
"I want you to know, I never forgot you. I tried moving on, Min-ah. But how could I? When my heart was you?"
"But you didn't stop me from leaving, remember?" Changmin whispers, tracing a finger along Yunho's ring. Even though he had been the one to initiate the break-up, he had stung from Yunho's silence and willingness to let him go. It had seeped into his soul and coloured his insecurity. Even until now, as he kneels, facing the man he loves.
Yunho is quiet for a second. Then his lips quirk in a slight smile.
"When we get home, there's a box in my desk drawer. It contains all the words that I should have said, that I would have said, and that I will always say, to keep you beside me always."
We Give.
"My second chance at happiness. Be mine, again." Yunho whispers, as he leans in.
---
The birds chirp. The breeze blows and lops the dandelion off its roots. The flower dances in the breeze; circling the entwined pair briefly before flying off into the sky.
cr: http://stuffled.com/vector/flying-dandelion-love-hearts/
The sun sends its rays softly down into the trees. the park, quiet, except for the rustle of the breeze.
Yunho looks over at his companion. His eyes are closed, soaking up the sun. it is silent, but a comfortable kind of silence. the kind that tells you that the world is good today, that the moment now, it is perfect.
But still, it has been a month already. And a dull ache inside Yunho's heart reminds him of what had been.
He sighs unknowingly and peers at the grass by his feet.
Changmin hears the sigh and props an eyelid open.
He knows. He had purposely chosen not to talk about it. Then. and then not yet. It just didn't feel like the right time.
But now, it seems, the moment was now.
We Love.
Everything seemed okay. But the cracks, they remained. Light trails of the wounds that bled; that etched themselves deep.
We Leave.
"I left because I couldn't promise you anything. I wasn't ready, Yunho." Changmin's voice comes out in a croak, and he swallows, clearing his throat.
"I know it's a fucked up reason to have gone and done that to you. I'm sorry. It's not enough, but I'm sorry. You were too wonderful, too good. I was just me, just me who kept snapping at you. Kept laughing at you. And yet you smiled through it out. Yet, you loved me."
Changmin sits up, leaning forward on his elbows. He sees a tiny dandelion in the grass, waving its head at him. He focuses on that instead of the presence beside him.
"How do you explain to someone that you were leaving because they were too perfect? Yunho, how? I'm sorry. I didn't deserve you. I hoped.. I hoped by leaving, you would find happiness."
We Take.
"It was my happiness to find, Changmin. Not yours." Yunho replies softly. He trails a finger along his arm. "I was devastated for ages. Then I finally picked myself up. Went out, I met Soo Jin..."
Yunho's heart lurches as he recalls her teary face as they broke up soon after he had met Changmin and Kyuhyun at the cafe. She had no idea, no idea at all - that the reason he had not been able to give all of himself to her was because of the man she had bumped into on the street.
"He better be worth leaving your second chance at happiness for. And second chances don't come easy."
We Give.
Changmin gets up and kneels down in front of Yunho, his eyes, teary. He grasps Yunho's hands with both of his and peers up at him.
"Look at me, Yunho."
"I was a dick. I was young and stupid. I had all these.. these notions of what should be and what should have been. I forgot that in relationships, there are always two parties. Not one. I missed you. I missed you so fucking much. I came back.. I tried to forget you but I returned. I thought I saw you once, while walking on the streets. You seemed happy.."
And Changmin told him about that night he had spotted him at Dong Ho's party. How his smile was still as captivating as ever, how he then saw the cause of that smile; with Yunho as they chatted over champagne.
"So I left. You were happy.."
---
We Love.
Yunho stares at him, memories of that night flowing back into his mind as he recalls feeling a magnetic call in his heart, as he ran out into the streets only to find nothing amidst a sea of strangers and city noises.
"Changmin. It was you that I felt."
The realisation falls like a bomb in between the both of them. That back then, although separated by time and space, two destined souls will always yearn for each other.
We Leave.
Changmin feels tears finally drop. All the months of separation, of loneliness, of darkness, of trying and failing to let go of the pain. Of ignoring and then finally gathering the courage to return to find Yunho. It seeps out into the clear drops that slide its way down his face and onto his shirt.
Yunho drops to his knees beside Changmin and holds his chin, thumb caressing his cheek as he gazes into Changmin's eyes.
He holds Changmin's other hand and raises it to his chest, just over his heart. Metal clinks as the twin rings on their fingers meet.
We Take.
"I want you to know, I never forgot you. I tried moving on, Min-ah. But how could I? When my heart was you?"
"But you didn't stop me from leaving, remember?" Changmin whispers, tracing a finger along Yunho's ring. Even though he had been the one to initiate the break-up, he had stung from Yunho's silence and willingness to let him go. It had seeped into his soul and coloured his insecurity. Even until now, as he kneels, facing the man he loves.
Yunho is quiet for a second. Then his lips quirk in a slight smile.
"When we get home, there's a box in my desk drawer. It contains all the words that I should have said, that I would have said, and that I will always say, to keep you beside me always."
We Give.
"My second chance at happiness. Be mine, again." Yunho whispers, as he leans in.
---
The birds chirp. The breeze blows and lops the dandelion off its roots. The flower dances in the breeze; circling the entwined pair briefly before flying off into the sky.
cr: http://stuffled.com/vector/flying-dandelion-love-hearts/