What is Possession?
Click to viewIt was already April. A time of separation.
They had spent almost 3 months together in Japan, apart from a couple of days when Changmin had returned to Korea to fulfil a promise he had made to Kyuhyun to attend his sister's wedding. Their Tokyo apartment was almost as lived in as their own homes in Korea by the end of that period. The night before they were to fly back, Yunho had stared at his stuff in the walk-in wardrobe, wondering if he ought to get a head-start in packing up everything. After all, it wouldn't be long before he would really have to say goodbye to the place for awhile. The thought of that sunk in slowly, darkening his mind, as the room itself too, started to darken with the setting of the sun.
Perhaps he would ask the company to let the apartment go after their last trip.
Yunho sighed and walked to the window, where he could see Tokyo start to light up for the night. Suddenly, time seemed to pass too fast. Seasons come and went, with the passing sands of time. It was winter, now it was spring. If he stared hard enough in the direction of the Meguro River, he thought he could see the pale pink of the cherry blossoms in the distance.
I would miss that.
I would miss everything.
Lost in his thoughts, he didn't realise the presence of another come into the room. Footsteps which stood at the door, then came by the bed. And finally, behind him as a chin was leaned on his shoulder and a wisp of hair ticked his jaw. Arms came around his waist as he leaned into the other's embrace.
"Stop thinking, I can hear you all the way from my room."
Yunho inhaled the scent of peppermint and lavender shampoo and smiled to himself.
And you, I would miss you, the most of all.
---
Yunho arrived back in Seoul with his manager the next day.
He took out his phone, waited for it to connect to the network and immediately dialled a number.
"Hey, I'm back. What time tonight?"
He nodded as the other greeted him enthusiastically and gave him a time. Then he hung up and typed the details out into a message. Hitting 'send', he shut his phone and got into the car, heading for home.
---
10pm.
Changmin yawned as he entered his hotel room in Saitama. He needed a shower after all that mad dancing on stage at D&E's concert and the smoky BBQ dinner. He still had time anyway.
1am.
He's in bed when his phone buzzes softly.
"Hello?"
"Hey. Did I wake you?"
"Not really. I haven't slept yet. You said about 1am right? Where are you?"
"85st, where else?"
"Alright, say hi to hyungs for me."
"Yea. Let me know when you're back tomorrow."
"Okay, goodnight hyung."
"Night, Min-ah."
He smiles to himself before turning on his side and falling asleep.
---
Changmin shuts the door behind him and dumps his bag on the floor, stretching. Slightly tired from the early morning flight, coupled with the run down to Inkigayo, he just wants one thing. His apartment is quiet, just the way he had left it that one day he returned for the wedding. He goes to the kitchen and can't help the grin that turns up the corners of his mouth.
Take-out from Donghae hyung's taco restaurant and a cup of coffee from 85st sit on the counter. The coffee is still warm, Yunho must have timed his return right this time. He taps on his Kakaotalk application to send a message to the other.
Shimu-san: Donghae hyung's food? Really?
Yunhokun: Chwangdola! Haha! I figured, since you are so close to him and all (LOL)..
Shimu-san: (rolls eyes)
Yunhokun: Eat it while it's hot ^^ Call you later.
---
Yunho is happy, happier than he has been in a long time. The heaviness of his impending departure is still at the back of his mind, along with all the emotions and nostalgia that he's been carrying with him since their Korean 10th year anniversary in 2013, and then the Japanese 10th year one this year. But he's with his second family now, friends who have been with him through everything, every damn thing, up and down, and he's home. He's safe and he's warm and he's with them at this moment. His mind wanders briefly to wondering where Changmin is, but he recalls his partner having mentioned something about finalising some work stuff and sorting out a schedule. He makes a mental note to give the man a call later.
He laughs as Dong Ho bowls a gutter ball and swears to himself. Ho Jun shakes his head and stifles a chuckle. Yunho smiles and leans back against the other, feeling his arms go round him, squeezing in return. It's been so long, too long since he had last seen his group of best friends and soon, it would be too long before he could have such moments with them again. As soon as the thought enters his head, Ho Jun nudges him.
"Hey pro. Wanna have a game with that guy over there? He's been staring at us, and sneaking pictures. I bet we're gonna be all over SNS tonight."
Yunho looks over at the member of the public in the next lane that immediately tries to look away, embarrassed at being spotted. He smiles brightly, his good mood back in full force. He takes a sip of beer (Changmin's favourite brand, he noted when Ho Jun had first brought their drinks over) and opens his mouth to speak.
"Hey, wanna bowl first? We can play a game."
---
Rarely does Changmin feel insecure. He's always been sure of Yunho. Always. Even when he himself was unsure about his own role in the group, his own ability to be who Yunho needed, he had always believed and trusted in Yunho.
Not today though.
Maybe it was the tumult of emotions he had been feeling ever since WITH. Ever since their breakdowns at Tokyo Dome. Ever since leaving Japan, where they had been together too much, for too long.
How am I supposed to go back to our old ways so quickly, hyung?
He looks at the picture on his phone again, it's a bit blurry but there's no hiding Yunho's smile as he leaned back against Ho Jun. The accompanying fan-account says both were close the whole night.
He tells himself he's being silly. He's known Ho Jun hyung for as long as he's known Yunho to tell the truth. A twin package, a double combo.
Just like Yunho and him.
Again, that pang of insecurity.
Changmin throws his phone on the bed and hits the floor in a push-up position. Maybe he could drive out the shit feelings with exercise.
His phone beeps with an incoming message.
Yunhokun: Hey. I miss you.
---
1am.
"Hello?"
"Hey Min-ah. Is everything okay?"
"Of course. Why do you ask?"
"You didn't reply my message."
"..."
"Min?"
"I didn't check my phone." Changmin groans inwardly at the lame excuse.
".. Chwangdola. You're being silly. This is because of the pictures all over the internet right? Ho Jun hyung got mentioned on Twitter quite a few times." Yunho chuckles softly. Silence, then he clears his throat as he realises that Changmin was still being quiet.
"Min, I'm outside and I'm coming in."
Yunho comes in, panting. He probably had to run through the garage or something to avoid fans, Changmin isn't sure, and he doesn't really care.
He hears the other come in, undress and slide in between the covers next to him.
"Changminnie," Yunho sings, gently against his ear. He feels the other's arms encircle his waist and pull him close against his chest.
"What?"
"Don't be like this."
"I'm not being anything. Just go and spend time with your friends. I'm tired."
"I spent time with them already. But it's time for me to be at home."
"Your home's not here, hyung. It's 10 minutes away."
"No, it's wherever you are, Changminnie. You're my home."
And Changmin feels the weight of his insecurity lift and fade away, as Yunho presses a kiss into his cheek and sigh against his nape.
Changmin turns to face Yunho, his eyes shining in the moonlight that comes through the window. He feels slightly embarrassed about his little childish show of pettiness.
"It's just that.. sometimes I can't help it. You're better than me, you let me do what I want with Kyuhyun and all, and I just take it for granted. But then sometimes, I see such things with you and Ho Jun hyung and I..." Changmin looks down at their intertwined hands, feeling his ears burning.
"Changmin-ah. We've had this conversation before. Just like how you go on trips with Kyuhyun and the others, and I hang out at 85st and go out with Ho Jun hyung and all, this is who we are. This is what we need to stay sane. I'm not always okay when you go off either, but I tell myself it works for you just as it does for me. At the end of the day, no matter what, we both come home to each other. When I leave, you are going to need Kyuhyun and the rest a lot more. But it's okay, because of this."
Yunho grasps Changmin's hand and places it over where his heart is.
"Because I'm with you. Here."
And Changmin lets the sappiness of the line go, as both of them pause, staring at each other before bursting into laughter, Changmin, burying his face in Yunho's neck.