Day 4

[xanotherdreamx]

[Drone filter]

[Roxas has been staying in the Quinn household since he went there with Himeno a few days ago. All the the activity lately has gotten him to focus less on the new details about himself he gathered from Naminé and more on the situation at hand.

In fact, he sounds a bit cranky today.]Why is everyone listening to them?! Aren't the

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[pallidhues]

....

Sometimes it's not just one thing or the other.

[xanotherdreamx]

Then what else is it? Something... in-between?

[pallidhues]

That's like the best way to describe it, yes.

The list might not have anything to do with reality at all. To say it's one thing or the other may not be a good idea; you never really know all of someone's motivations. [She'd seen that kind of thing enough times to know.]

If we don't even know why we're here, how can we say that the people in control here want one thing or another? They've obviously got no problem with lying. The list might be made up to frame people they want to punish, but if they're expecting you to think it's one thing or the other, they might be using it to protect the people that really are the monsters, or it might even be completely arbitrary. If they think that everyone thinks that the people on the list are guilty, they could be using it to kill everyone that they want dead, but if they think that everyone thinks that the people on the list are being framed and are innocent, then they could be using it to make you let your guard down around those people.

[xanotherdreamx]

Oh, I guess you have point. They might be leading us in the right direction because they want to for some reason...

So they could even be hiding some of the "monsters" but blaming the others. How are we supposed to know what to trust? Are they just trying to confuse everyone so much that we all just end up taking each other out?

[pallidhues]

That's the problem. It's all too confusing to tell, and if you make the wrong decision, you might--...

...Just, keep your guard up, okay? Don't trust anyone. [....]

...Not even me.

[xanotherdreamx]

Yeah, I know. There's really no way to know anything right now, is there?

Really? But if I can't trust you and you said not to trust anyone, then shouldn't I be able to trust people?

...Nothing makes sense here.

[pallidhues]

....

[That was quite a problem.]

Then the only thing left is to make your own decisions.

[Unless she was lying about that, etcetera, etcetera. Why did logic have to be so complicated?]

...But that doesn't mean that someone is wrong, even if you don't trust them. Even liars tell the truth sometimes. [Did that sound a little tight? Maybe, maybe.]

[xanotherdreamx]

I guess I'll have to.

[He thinks about her final statement for a few moments. He knew he didn't trust anyone in the Organization anymore, but now that he thought about it how often had they really lied to him? They were just hiding things most of the time, weren't they?]

Yeah. It's like you said before. It's not always just one thing or another.

[pallidhues]

Right. [And that might be a little bit of relief, there.]

...By the way, Roxas-- [She hesitated a moment, trying to think of a delicate way to say this.] ... if something... 'happens' to me, I want you to know that I'm sorry. ...Just in case.

[xanotherdreamx]

Huh? What are you sorry for?

[pallidhues]

--....

[A lot things. Things she'd tell him about someday, and maybe things she'd never tell him about at all, but she'd always know-- they'd always be there, every last single thing she'd ever regretted doing to him or to Sora or-- anyone, and everything that everyone had ever done to him, even the things that weren't her fault, except she still felt responsible because it ached, watching someone else be toyed with and used like a tool, and thinking that maybe they were the only person in all the worlds that would understand, that would be able to say, 'I know how that feels,' and hating that she thought that because it was so, so wrong and it made her sick and she would never wish it on anybody, least of all him. But she couldn't say that, couldn't just say 'I'm sorry for everything.']

...For if I disappear. I know it probably won't make that much of a difference, but--[She didn't want to leave him alone. Not that he'd be alone, but he'd be the only Nobody here. A lonely existence made even lonelier... not that her

[xanotherdreamx]

...That's right, you know me. Er, it sounds like people are coming back, though, so maybe we don't have to worry as much.

[pallidhues]

[...Ah, but droned. The idea of that didn't exactly appeal to her; all she'd ever had was what scrap of a self she could call her own, and if they took that away-- it made her shudder. It made her throat do strange, uncomfortable things.]

I-I guess you're right. Sorry.

[xanotherdreamx]

[She didn't sound very certain about it. He wondered if something was wrong, but he wasn't sure if it was something he would understand if she told him.]

You don't really have to apologize for that.

[pallidhues]

[...And besides, if she became a drone, she wouldn't be able to help him. Not that she'd be able to much now, either, but-- at least she could tell him the things he needed to know, when he was ready.]

O-oh! Sorry...!

[Because apparently, reflex trumped logic that time.]

[xanotherdreamx]

[There was definitely something odd about this girl. She had told him a lot of things already even though he wasn't sure if they were really true or not. Maybe she knew more?]

...Um, right.