its been a long time coming

[xanina]

in the last week i have become quite a happier person. i'm starting not care or worry as much as i would normally would on a normal basis.  i can't attribute what makes me feel so at ease, but i don't really care, i'm not going to worry about it.  this is going to be the run on sentence rant of my life i can feel it.  as much as i'm happier, i dread the next month of my life.  there are too many papers, too many things to be done and way too many fun things in between.  what can i say i want my cake and i want to eat it too.  i'm just hoping i can finish all the work, the x-mas presents and everything else.  i'm not working at my job though and it worries the hell out of me.  my car needs an oil change really bad and i kinda can't afford it at the moment.  i want to take such good care of this car, but i'm already failing.

some nights i come home and i just want to hop into bed with a purring kittie and then i remember that my annie cat is dead and my other cat doesn't cuddle.  the other cat just likes my bed and runs away when i get home.  someone may have just found me a cuddly kittie, but i can't get my hopes up.

i think i'm going to go dream about a lot of things that i can't have like kitties and other things that shall remain nameless...