(no subject)
I feel like I lost everyone when I lost Ryan. Perhaps I just lost myself, but I feel like I have no one to care about me now. I feel like my friends abandoned me which I know probably is not true. Sometimes though, I feel like I can just drop everything when one of my friends is upset, but they cannot do the same for me. I just can't deal with it anymore. I feel alone, everyday I just feel alone. Everyday it just gets worse, the hole gets deeper and darker. No one bothers to take me out of this hole and I cannot get out of it myself. I want out of it more than anyone can imagine. A month ago I was perfectly fine and then it all went to the worse. I don't know what to do. I guess I should just pretend like everything is ok and just ignore my feelings. Pretend like there is no Ryan and I have no friends.