TYLER!
Tyler, this guy, showed me around today. He's gay and is really really nice. He wants to be my friend and thinks that the not having friends thing is bad. While we were hanging he randomly told me that he liked me, so I said it back with a thank you. I'm glad he likes me. He wants to hang tomorrow again. I'd tell you all what we did today, but I'm too lazy, plus I just wrote it all down to Jen and don't feel like repeating the process. Maybe I'll just copy and past it into hurr. I think I will:
Yay, today I hung out with Tyler…strictly in non-date capacity. It was fun. He took me to Broadway, which is like the Castro; we ate at a restaurant there. The waiters were all gay, of course, and seriously the cutest and hottest guys I’ve even seen, no lie… Then we walked to the park where he showed me the conservatory, which was beautiful. Plants and flowers are nice. Then we hiked up the water tower and gazed out over Seattle. Then we talked at a giant bookstore thing, which was the best part. He’s not as good looking as I thought he was, but he is cute. He’s much more talkative than I am, but then who isn’t? I eventually warmed up to him though. He seems to be a raging extrovert and loves the company of his friends. He recently came out and is now being condemned by his parents, who’re religious. He has sex casually with a twenty-eight year old man. He says he can’t not be in relationship with meaningfulness, though; so he’s going to call off the whole them having sex thing. Oh, we decided to meet in Greenlake at the Chocolati Café (I picked the place, he picked the time) and when I got there he wasn’t there, so I went inside and waited for him. I ended up waiting for an hour, which sucked so much, but ultimately was okay, I guess, because I got a free hot chocolate out of the wait (I guess someone felt sorry for me; the baristas walked up to me and said “here, someone bought this for you” and gave me the drink ) and a delicious candy. He apologized and had a good excuse; the power went out and his alarm clock didn’t sound. It’s weird, because my lights kept on flickering and I thought the power might go out, so I became worried that my alarm wouldn’t sound and I’d be late… Maybe it was a sign; Mr. McCullough might say it was. Anyway, he likes good music, which is a plus, since good music is better than bad music, and if we become good friends and hang out often like he wants, I wouldn’t want to have to listen to horribleness all the time. He seems to think not having friends is really bad, so at one point I told him not to hang out with me because he feels sorry for me, then he told me that that wasn’t just it and that he thinks I’m funny and interesting. Oh, and on the way somewhere, maybe home, he said he liked me; it was random. I thanked him and said “ditto”. Just kidding, I said “I like you, too”. I don’t want to get my hopes up, though. Like, he seems to want me to meet his friends and become great pals, but I don’t think I’d be able to handle all that plus the horrible depression after something bad happens and we end up not being friends. I know that’s stupid; I shouldn’t go into relationships with a barrier up or whatever, but I can’t help it. I don’t know what made me that way. But me liking him less than as much as I can allow myself to seems like more of a cushion than a barrier, though; so it’s not that bad, I guess. The pain will be less when sadness comes. And if nothing does happen that separates these hypothetical friendships horribly, then the us splitting up and going to college will definitely suck, since it’s eventually gonna happen. After all, we’re all planning on going to college around the same time, and to different places, far away places, like…two hours away, so that’ll be not good. He said I should go to his college though, since it’s good or something. I’m gonna hurry though community college then decide what I really want. Maybe things will be different, maybe if I did move those two hours away into the dorms, things wouldn’t be that bad. Jenny has Dane, so she won’t be too sad about my leaving. I know, assuming they’re still together… They will be, I think. They already talk like they’re going to have kids, but only, I think, in that our-kid-definitely-won’t-be-named-that way, after they just heard a horrible baby name and weren’t talking about their future at all (that's an example I made I up, but I think something similar has happened). But who knows, Jenny told me that a month ago, things could have changed; they could be discussing wedding plans and baby names nightly. That reminds me, when I get married, and assuming I still have you and Jenny as my best friends, you’re gonna have to be the groomsmaids, you know, since Daniel and TJ probably don't feel that close to me where they'd want to be my best men. And anyway, you two are my top best friends ever. It’ll be a gay wedding; we’ll be able to have it however we want, so having of the groomsmaids sounds not that stupid, right? So, what do you say? You can still wear a dress and stuff, you’ll just be a called a groomsmaid, which isn’t that bad of a title when you think about it. I think that implies that I’d be the girl in the relationship though. Hmmm, do I want that? Eh, I don’t care. Anyway, Tyler is really nice.
Sorry that this entry is so long. But sometimes I just need to share the happy times with mes amis.
Yay, today I hung out with Tyler…strictly in non-date capacity. It was fun. He took me to Broadway, which is like the Castro; we ate at a restaurant there. The waiters were all gay, of course, and seriously the cutest and hottest guys I’ve even seen, no lie… Then we walked to the park where he showed me the conservatory, which was beautiful. Plants and flowers are nice. Then we hiked up the water tower and gazed out over Seattle. Then we talked at a giant bookstore thing, which was the best part. He’s not as good looking as I thought he was, but he is cute. He’s much more talkative than I am, but then who isn’t? I eventually warmed up to him though. He seems to be a raging extrovert and loves the company of his friends. He recently came out and is now being condemned by his parents, who’re religious. He has sex casually with a twenty-eight year old man. He says he can’t not be in relationship with meaningfulness, though; so he’s going to call off the whole them having sex thing. Oh, we decided to meet in Greenlake at the Chocolati Café (I picked the place, he picked the time) and when I got there he wasn’t there, so I went inside and waited for him. I ended up waiting for an hour, which sucked so much, but ultimately was okay, I guess, because I got a free hot chocolate out of the wait (I guess someone felt sorry for me; the baristas walked up to me and said “here, someone bought this for you” and gave me the drink ) and a delicious candy. He apologized and had a good excuse; the power went out and his alarm clock didn’t sound. It’s weird, because my lights kept on flickering and I thought the power might go out, so I became worried that my alarm wouldn’t sound and I’d be late… Maybe it was a sign; Mr. McCullough might say it was. Anyway, he likes good music, which is a plus, since good music is better than bad music, and if we become good friends and hang out often like he wants, I wouldn’t want to have to listen to horribleness all the time. He seems to think not having friends is really bad, so at one point I told him not to hang out with me because he feels sorry for me, then he told me that that wasn’t just it and that he thinks I’m funny and interesting. Oh, and on the way somewhere, maybe home, he said he liked me; it was random. I thanked him and said “ditto”. Just kidding, I said “I like you, too”. I don’t want to get my hopes up, though. Like, he seems to want me to meet his friends and become great pals, but I don’t think I’d be able to handle all that plus the horrible depression after something bad happens and we end up not being friends. I know that’s stupid; I shouldn’t go into relationships with a barrier up or whatever, but I can’t help it. I don’t know what made me that way. But me liking him less than as much as I can allow myself to seems like more of a cushion than a barrier, though; so it’s not that bad, I guess. The pain will be less when sadness comes. And if nothing does happen that separates these hypothetical friendships horribly, then the us splitting up and going to college will definitely suck, since it’s eventually gonna happen. After all, we’re all planning on going to college around the same time, and to different places, far away places, like…two hours away, so that’ll be not good. He said I should go to his college though, since it’s good or something. I’m gonna hurry though community college then decide what I really want. Maybe things will be different, maybe if I did move those two hours away into the dorms, things wouldn’t be that bad. Jenny has Dane, so she won’t be too sad about my leaving. I know, assuming they’re still together… They will be, I think. They already talk like they’re going to have kids, but only, I think, in that our-kid-definitely-won’t-be-named-that way, after they just heard a horrible baby name and weren’t talking about their future at all (that's an example I made I up, but I think something similar has happened). But who knows, Jenny told me that a month ago, things could have changed; they could be discussing wedding plans and baby names nightly. That reminds me, when I get married, and assuming I still have you and Jenny as my best friends, you’re gonna have to be the groomsmaids, you know, since Daniel and TJ probably don't feel that close to me where they'd want to be my best men. And anyway, you two are my top best friends ever. It’ll be a gay wedding; we’ll be able to have it however we want, so having of the groomsmaids sounds not that stupid, right? So, what do you say? You can still wear a dress and stuff, you’ll just be a called a groomsmaid, which isn’t that bad of a title when you think about it. I think that implies that I’d be the girl in the relationship though. Hmmm, do I want that? Eh, I don’t care. Anyway, Tyler is really nice.
Sorry that this entry is so long. But sometimes I just need to share the happy times with mes amis.