I Finally Remembered You. Part 36 - Destiny and All That
Title: I Finally Remembered You. Part 36 - Destiny and All That
Author: Xanfan
Rating: R/NC-17 for other chapters
Pairing: X/A
Summary: AU futurefic. Slash. Xander, not Buffy, had gone to see Angel in “I Will Remember You” Years later, he finally keeps his promise.
Spoilers: All of BtVS & Ats
Warnings: Slash M/M, mild language, more in future chapters
Banner Art by katek1010
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Words in Italics indicate thoughts. Except at the very beginning when they indicate ‘previously on ….”
___________________________
Previously on IFRY:
After a moment, Xander pulled back slightly and turned towards Lorne with his trademark brave face. “So, what else do we need to talk about? More big revelations?”
“Nah, I just wanted her negative vibes away from my good mood. Plus, I had no interest in seeing the Xander-shaped hole in the wall when your nerves got the best of you and you made a run for it,” Lorne said as he took a sip of his drink.
Xander opened his mouth, but no words came out. Then he started to giggle, almost hysterically.
Angel couldn’t help but laugh at Lorne’s and Xander’s antics. He knew that an uncomfortable and possibly painful situation awaited them down the hall, but he was very glad that they could have this moment of lightness in the face of what was still to come.
*******************
The minute Spike heard Buffy start to storm back down the hall after Angel had told her to get lost, he grabbed Willow by the arm and made a run for it up the stairs with her in tow, yelling, “Abandon ship! Slutty the Vampire Layer snit alert - run for your lives, witches and vampires first!” over his shoulder as he went. He smirked at the sounds of human and Slayer feet scrambling for cover from the angry senior Slayer.
When Spike reached his room, he shoved Willow in, and slammed the door behind him, holding up a finger for silence when the witch opened her mouth to speak, listening at the door to see if they were followed.
Satisfied that they were safe (at least for the moment), he turned to her and leaned back against the door, putting one booted foot flat against it, and smirked, very smugly. He could see her practically bouncing in anticipation.
“Why’d you bring me to your room, why not hide in mine? And also, I know you heard what they were saying in there after Faith stormed in. So? Spill, Bleachy, what did you hear?” Willow demanded impatiently.
“Obvious, idn’t it? Buffy’s gonna come looking for a shoulder to cry on and she’d be looking in your room, wouldn’t she? Last place she’d think to find you is in my room. As for what I heard… a little of this, a little of that,” Spike taunted, seemingly nonchalant. His eyes widened when the redhead started advancing on his position against the door.
“You will tell me what I want to know,” Willow growled. After a moment of Spike’s shocked silence, she backed up with a blush. “Sorry, I was stuck in the moment again, I’m all better now. So, what did they say?”
Spike eyed her warily before he gave in and grinned at her antics. “Well….”
“Spike!”
The blond vampire chuckled. “It seems the whelp and the poof are destined, meant to be and all that. The Powers That Be finally did some good messin’ with our lives and helped out a bit.”
Willow just stood there, goggle-eyed at that announcement.
“Meant to be?” she whispered.
Spike nodded.
“Wow!” Willow exclaimed.
“Got that right. Who’da thought those two would be all ‘destined to be’ and shite?” Spike asked.
Willow thought about what she had seen of Angel and Xander since what was left of the AI team had come to stay with them. “Now? Yeah, I see it. The ease of their interactions, their unconscious affection and mannerisms, the way they look at each other, they way they laugh together? It all makes sense. But back in the early days? Not a chance. Although, some of that antagonism has to have been sexual tension, don’t you think?”
Spike laughed. “Oh, there was sexual tension, alright, from both of ‘em. But the love sod? Didn’t see it then.”
Willow continued on thoughtfully with a small smile at the vampire’s words. “Do you think any of the rest of us have someone we’re meant to be with? Do you think it was Tara? Do you think I’ll be alone for the rest of my life now because she’s gone?”
“There now, ducks,” Spike began as he pushed away from the wall and pulled the sad-eyed witch into his arms. “Maybe we’re meant to love the people we loved, when we loved ‘em. Glinda was meant for you at that time, but now ya’ve got someone else you’re meant to have. Maybe ya needed the other people in your life, your other loves, to get ya all set, prepared like, for the next one.”
“Really?” Willow sniffled against his black t-shirt.
“I wouldn’t lie to ya, would I?”
Willow giggled. “Yes you would, just for fun.”
“Yeah, I would, but not about this,” Spike admitted.
They stayed there for awhile, taking what comfort could be had while thinking of the loves they both had lost over the years.
“I really loved her, you know,” Willow whispered.
“I know, luv, I know. She was a good one, that one. Full of goodness and light, couldn’t help but love her a little bit meself. Not romantic like, but friend like. You could tell she’d been from a bad place, but she pulled herself up and changed her life as best she could. Had spirit and guts, she did,” Spike said, a touch of pride in his voice for the fallen witch.
“She was shy, but she was strong, inside. When she left me, I was hurt and mad, but a part of me was proud of her for standing up for herself and doing what she thought was right for both of us,” Willow admitted.
“Was proud of her meself,” Spike agreed. After some more silence, “I wonder if it wasn’t like in that book, A Separate Peace; she was too good for this world, too good to live in it. She had to leave it, or it would have tainted her too much, broken her.”
“That actually makes sense. I’m glad I couldn’t bring her back. As much as I love her and miss her everyday, I couldn’t live with myself if I’d done to her what I did to Buffy. Ripped her out of heaven. I can’t imagine she’d be anyplace else,” Willow said.
“Ya made a mistake with Buffy, Red, but I think you learned from it, eventually. I know you won’t be doin’ anything like that again. And o’ course Glinda’s in heaven, ain’t no other place for a soul like hers,” Spike assured.
“So, Xander and Angel were meant to be, huh?” Willow asked, changing the subject back.
“Seems like,” Spike agreed.
“But that’s not all, is it? Something more is going on, or was going on. There’s something we’re missing Spike, a big piece of the puzzle,” Willow insisted.
“I did hear a few words here or there, sometin’ about Thanksgiving and a visit to L.A.” Spike offered.
Willow stepped back and stared at him. “The Thanksgiving after you got chipped, when Xander took Buffy and Dawn down to L.A. to visit their dad and Buffy made him go give Angel a message, ‘cause she was pissed that Angel had been lurking and hadn’t bothered to see her!?!”
Spike nodded; that made sense.
“But Xander said it only took a few minutes. He left the message, Angel didn’t shoot the messenger, Angel killed a demon that burst in on them and Xander left,” Willow said in confusion.
Spike thought back over what he had over heard and remembered a conversation he had interrupted between Faith and Xander, something about a…. “Lost day!”
“What?” Willow asked.
“I walked in on Faith and the whelp talking a few days back, they stopped talking when I interrupted, but I think I heard sometin’ about a lost or missin’ day,” Spike offered.
“What the hell is going on?” Willow asked in frustration and confusion. She sat down and pulled a piece of paper and a pen off of Spike’s desk and began to make notes. “So, something happened between Xander and Angel and now they’re all destined and stuff. It happened after the first Thanksgiving after Angel left for L.A. But it couldn’t have happened then, because there wasn’t enough time for anything to happen, because it was just a few minutes, and I know because Xander can’t lie to me worth crap and Cordelia called to say that he was still alive, like, moments after he left.”
“But there’s this missin’ day shite, wot does that mean?” Spike said excitedly, getting into the little mystery solving they were doing.
Willow’s brow wrinkled in concentration and Spike couldn’t help but think it was cute when she did that.
Suddenly, Willow stood up. “Oh. My. God!”
“Wot?” Spike asked in confusion.
“The lost day, something happened, and then it didn’t!” Willow exclaimed.
“Again, wot?” Spike asked, no less confused.
“Don’t you see? Somehow, whatever happened, happened on that day, and then the day was taken away, or reset or something and it didn’t happen, but it really had, but it hadn’t,” Willow babbled.
“I’ve still no bloody idea what the hell you’re saying,” Spike growled in frustration.
“Something happened between Angel and Xander when Xander was in L.A. But, for some reason, that day was erased like it didn’t happen. And they forgot, or at least one of them did, but then they didn’t really, because some part of them remembered,” Willow said slowly.
“Bloody hell!” Spike exclaimed in dawning realization. “The poof remembered. He had to have. Every time he said the boy’s name, he’d get all broody, worse ‘an normal, worse ‘an the Buffy Brood.”
“But Xander didn’t, because when he came back, I think he honestly thought nothing had happened. But he’d blush at Angel’s name, for some reason, and even he’d be confused about why he blushed,” Willow added.
“And they said the PTBs had helped out, nudged a bit. Maybe let the boy have some of his memories or sometin’?” Spike offered.
“Like subconsciously?” Willow asked.
“Yes!”
“But why? Why take the day away? Why did Angel remember and not Xander? Why do they both seem to remember now?” Willow asked.
“I don’t know, but I’m gonna find out,” Spike said as he opened the door, intending to go and confront the duo in question, only to find said couple standing outside the door, Xander with one hand raised to knock.
“Looking for us?” Xander asked.
“You bet your hienie we are,” Willow said as she and Spike each grabbed one of them by the arm and pulled them into the room.
Previous Chapters
Author: Xanfan
Rating: R/NC-17 for other chapters
Pairing: X/A
Summary: AU futurefic. Slash. Xander, not Buffy, had gone to see Angel in “I Will Remember You” Years later, he finally keeps his promise.
Spoilers: All of BtVS & Ats
Warnings: Slash M/M, mild language, more in future chapters
Banner Art by katek1010
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Words in Italics indicate thoughts. Except at the very beginning when they indicate ‘previously on ….”
___________________________
Previously on IFRY:
After a moment, Xander pulled back slightly and turned towards Lorne with his trademark brave face. “So, what else do we need to talk about? More big revelations?”
“Nah, I just wanted her negative vibes away from my good mood. Plus, I had no interest in seeing the Xander-shaped hole in the wall when your nerves got the best of you and you made a run for it,” Lorne said as he took a sip of his drink.
Xander opened his mouth, but no words came out. Then he started to giggle, almost hysterically.
Angel couldn’t help but laugh at Lorne’s and Xander’s antics. He knew that an uncomfortable and possibly painful situation awaited them down the hall, but he was very glad that they could have this moment of lightness in the face of what was still to come.
*******************
The minute Spike heard Buffy start to storm back down the hall after Angel had told her to get lost, he grabbed Willow by the arm and made a run for it up the stairs with her in tow, yelling, “Abandon ship! Slutty the Vampire Layer snit alert - run for your lives, witches and vampires first!” over his shoulder as he went. He smirked at the sounds of human and Slayer feet scrambling for cover from the angry senior Slayer.
When Spike reached his room, he shoved Willow in, and slammed the door behind him, holding up a finger for silence when the witch opened her mouth to speak, listening at the door to see if they were followed.
Satisfied that they were safe (at least for the moment), he turned to her and leaned back against the door, putting one booted foot flat against it, and smirked, very smugly. He could see her practically bouncing in anticipation.
“Why’d you bring me to your room, why not hide in mine? And also, I know you heard what they were saying in there after Faith stormed in. So? Spill, Bleachy, what did you hear?” Willow demanded impatiently.
“Obvious, idn’t it? Buffy’s gonna come looking for a shoulder to cry on and she’d be looking in your room, wouldn’t she? Last place she’d think to find you is in my room. As for what I heard… a little of this, a little of that,” Spike taunted, seemingly nonchalant. His eyes widened when the redhead started advancing on his position against the door.
“You will tell me what I want to know,” Willow growled. After a moment of Spike’s shocked silence, she backed up with a blush. “Sorry, I was stuck in the moment again, I’m all better now. So, what did they say?”
Spike eyed her warily before he gave in and grinned at her antics. “Well….”
“Spike!”
The blond vampire chuckled. “It seems the whelp and the poof are destined, meant to be and all that. The Powers That Be finally did some good messin’ with our lives and helped out a bit.”
Willow just stood there, goggle-eyed at that announcement.
“Meant to be?” she whispered.
Spike nodded.
“Wow!” Willow exclaimed.
“Got that right. Who’da thought those two would be all ‘destined to be’ and shite?” Spike asked.
Willow thought about what she had seen of Angel and Xander since what was left of the AI team had come to stay with them. “Now? Yeah, I see it. The ease of their interactions, their unconscious affection and mannerisms, the way they look at each other, they way they laugh together? It all makes sense. But back in the early days? Not a chance. Although, some of that antagonism has to have been sexual tension, don’t you think?”
Spike laughed. “Oh, there was sexual tension, alright, from both of ‘em. But the love sod? Didn’t see it then.”
Willow continued on thoughtfully with a small smile at the vampire’s words. “Do you think any of the rest of us have someone we’re meant to be with? Do you think it was Tara? Do you think I’ll be alone for the rest of my life now because she’s gone?”
“There now, ducks,” Spike began as he pushed away from the wall and pulled the sad-eyed witch into his arms. “Maybe we’re meant to love the people we loved, when we loved ‘em. Glinda was meant for you at that time, but now ya’ve got someone else you’re meant to have. Maybe ya needed the other people in your life, your other loves, to get ya all set, prepared like, for the next one.”
“Really?” Willow sniffled against his black t-shirt.
“I wouldn’t lie to ya, would I?”
Willow giggled. “Yes you would, just for fun.”
“Yeah, I would, but not about this,” Spike admitted.
They stayed there for awhile, taking what comfort could be had while thinking of the loves they both had lost over the years.
“I really loved her, you know,” Willow whispered.
“I know, luv, I know. She was a good one, that one. Full of goodness and light, couldn’t help but love her a little bit meself. Not romantic like, but friend like. You could tell she’d been from a bad place, but she pulled herself up and changed her life as best she could. Had spirit and guts, she did,” Spike said, a touch of pride in his voice for the fallen witch.
“She was shy, but she was strong, inside. When she left me, I was hurt and mad, but a part of me was proud of her for standing up for herself and doing what she thought was right for both of us,” Willow admitted.
“Was proud of her meself,” Spike agreed. After some more silence, “I wonder if it wasn’t like in that book, A Separate Peace; she was too good for this world, too good to live in it. She had to leave it, or it would have tainted her too much, broken her.”
“That actually makes sense. I’m glad I couldn’t bring her back. As much as I love her and miss her everyday, I couldn’t live with myself if I’d done to her what I did to Buffy. Ripped her out of heaven. I can’t imagine she’d be anyplace else,” Willow said.
“Ya made a mistake with Buffy, Red, but I think you learned from it, eventually. I know you won’t be doin’ anything like that again. And o’ course Glinda’s in heaven, ain’t no other place for a soul like hers,” Spike assured.
“So, Xander and Angel were meant to be, huh?” Willow asked, changing the subject back.
“Seems like,” Spike agreed.
“But that’s not all, is it? Something more is going on, or was going on. There’s something we’re missing Spike, a big piece of the puzzle,” Willow insisted.
“I did hear a few words here or there, sometin’ about Thanksgiving and a visit to L.A.” Spike offered.
Willow stepped back and stared at him. “The Thanksgiving after you got chipped, when Xander took Buffy and Dawn down to L.A. to visit their dad and Buffy made him go give Angel a message, ‘cause she was pissed that Angel had been lurking and hadn’t bothered to see her!?!”
Spike nodded; that made sense.
“But Xander said it only took a few minutes. He left the message, Angel didn’t shoot the messenger, Angel killed a demon that burst in on them and Xander left,” Willow said in confusion.
Spike thought back over what he had over heard and remembered a conversation he had interrupted between Faith and Xander, something about a…. “Lost day!”
“What?” Willow asked.
“I walked in on Faith and the whelp talking a few days back, they stopped talking when I interrupted, but I think I heard sometin’ about a lost or missin’ day,” Spike offered.
“What the hell is going on?” Willow asked in frustration and confusion. She sat down and pulled a piece of paper and a pen off of Spike’s desk and began to make notes. “So, something happened between Xander and Angel and now they’re all destined and stuff. It happened after the first Thanksgiving after Angel left for L.A. But it couldn’t have happened then, because there wasn’t enough time for anything to happen, because it was just a few minutes, and I know because Xander can’t lie to me worth crap and Cordelia called to say that he was still alive, like, moments after he left.”
“But there’s this missin’ day shite, wot does that mean?” Spike said excitedly, getting into the little mystery solving they were doing.
Willow’s brow wrinkled in concentration and Spike couldn’t help but think it was cute when she did that.
Suddenly, Willow stood up. “Oh. My. God!”
“Wot?” Spike asked in confusion.
“The lost day, something happened, and then it didn’t!” Willow exclaimed.
“Again, wot?” Spike asked, no less confused.
“Don’t you see? Somehow, whatever happened, happened on that day, and then the day was taken away, or reset or something and it didn’t happen, but it really had, but it hadn’t,” Willow babbled.
“I’ve still no bloody idea what the hell you’re saying,” Spike growled in frustration.
“Something happened between Angel and Xander when Xander was in L.A. But, for some reason, that day was erased like it didn’t happen. And they forgot, or at least one of them did, but then they didn’t really, because some part of them remembered,” Willow said slowly.
“Bloody hell!” Spike exclaimed in dawning realization. “The poof remembered. He had to have. Every time he said the boy’s name, he’d get all broody, worse ‘an normal, worse ‘an the Buffy Brood.”
“But Xander didn’t, because when he came back, I think he honestly thought nothing had happened. But he’d blush at Angel’s name, for some reason, and even he’d be confused about why he blushed,” Willow added.
“And they said the PTBs had helped out, nudged a bit. Maybe let the boy have some of his memories or sometin’?” Spike offered.
“Like subconsciously?” Willow asked.
“Yes!”
“But why? Why take the day away? Why did Angel remember and not Xander? Why do they both seem to remember now?” Willow asked.
“I don’t know, but I’m gonna find out,” Spike said as he opened the door, intending to go and confront the duo in question, only to find said couple standing outside the door, Xander with one hand raised to knock.
“Looking for us?” Xander asked.
“You bet your hienie we are,” Willow said as she and Spike each grabbed one of them by the arm and pulled them into the room.
Previous Chapters