btstaketwo- Bargaining
Anger was turning into rage when Cordelia started to compare me to my Dad. That was the ultimate low blow. I was nothing like my Dad. I was important. I had made something of myself. I was a watcher. Not the best watcher. I was no Giles that was for sure. Maybe I drank a little too much on occasion but I wasn't a drunk like like dear old Dad was.
The door to the hotel room slammed. I felt Cordy grab my arm. Everything had faded to black all of a sudden. My anger turned into curiosity. I felt... peace. Then there were stars all around.
She told me to look up and one star started to move towards us. The closer it got I knew it wasn't a star. It was her. It was Will. She looked more beautiful that she ever did on Earth. She was all lit up almost like a Christmas tree on Christmas morning. But it wasn't from cheesy lights on a string it was from within Willow.
My eye got misty and I felt a tear get caught behind my patch. Who knew that eyes could still cry after they were gone?
I cleared my throat. "Will...?"
"It's me Xander." I turned around and for the time being Cordelia was gone. It was just me and Willow. "Willow... I am so sorry. How?"
She smiled and took my hand. "Xan, it's not your fault. We can't think about that right now. We don't have a lot of time and I've got lots to fit in so just listen for right now, 'kay?"
I squeezed her hand and nodded. She took a deep breath that she probably didn't have to take any longer, she probably took it out of habit. Habit to dive into one of her long rambles, just like she used to. "Xander. You have to go with Cordy to L.A. You have to go and help Buffy. You are the one that sees remember? They will all need your help. You have always been the most reluctant champion that I've ever known but you always do what needs to be done. Even if it hurts."
She sighed and let go of my hand. "This is the Reader's Digest condensed books version. Giles is not Giles. He is the incarnate."
I looked at her in question. "Buffy killed Giles, well... not Giles ten years ago. She couldn't deal with the same sitch basically as when she sent Angel to hell so she made with the scadaddle. For ten years you and I have believed to be Giles hasn't been him. He killed me Xander."
I started to say something and she held her hand up and went on. "I know that you are going to feel guilt about not knowing Xan. But what's done is done. It cannot be undone. You have to go to L.A. and you have to stop drinking so much."
Rolling my eye, I started to say that my drinking was no big deal. "Resolve face Xander. No ifs ands or buts. I love you. If you can't do this for Buffy or for me, do it for Tara. She's back and she is going to need your help."
She disappeared before my eyes and I was back in my hotel room. Cordelia was sitting on the edge of my bed. Giving me a 'see? I told ya' kind of look.
"Cordelia. If ever you cared about me you have to do one thing for me."
She made a motion with her hand to go on. "Since you are a supreme being and all you gotta let me switch." That was her 'huh' face. "Let me take Will's place. She is so much more powerful than I am. She actually used the word champion on me. Can you believe it? I can't do this. She is the strong one and I am just a one-eyed ex-carpenter turned wannabe watcher."
The door to the hotel room slammed. I felt Cordy grab my arm. Everything had faded to black all of a sudden. My anger turned into curiosity. I felt... peace. Then there were stars all around.
She told me to look up and one star started to move towards us. The closer it got I knew it wasn't a star. It was her. It was Will. She looked more beautiful that she ever did on Earth. She was all lit up almost like a Christmas tree on Christmas morning. But it wasn't from cheesy lights on a string it was from within Willow.
My eye got misty and I felt a tear get caught behind my patch. Who knew that eyes could still cry after they were gone?
I cleared my throat. "Will...?"
"It's me Xander." I turned around and for the time being Cordelia was gone. It was just me and Willow. "Willow... I am so sorry. How?"
She smiled and took my hand. "Xan, it's not your fault. We can't think about that right now. We don't have a lot of time and I've got lots to fit in so just listen for right now, 'kay?"
I squeezed her hand and nodded. She took a deep breath that she probably didn't have to take any longer, she probably took it out of habit. Habit to dive into one of her long rambles, just like she used to. "Xander. You have to go with Cordy to L.A. You have to go and help Buffy. You are the one that sees remember? They will all need your help. You have always been the most reluctant champion that I've ever known but you always do what needs to be done. Even if it hurts."
She sighed and let go of my hand. "This is the Reader's Digest condensed books version. Giles is not Giles. He is the incarnate."
I looked at her in question. "Buffy killed Giles, well... not Giles ten years ago. She couldn't deal with the same sitch basically as when she sent Angel to hell so she made with the scadaddle. For ten years you and I have believed to be Giles hasn't been him. He killed me Xander."
I started to say something and she held her hand up and went on. "I know that you are going to feel guilt about not knowing Xan. But what's done is done. It cannot be undone. You have to go to L.A. and you have to stop drinking so much."
Rolling my eye, I started to say that my drinking was no big deal. "Resolve face Xander. No ifs ands or buts. I love you. If you can't do this for Buffy or for me, do it for Tara. She's back and she is going to need your help."
She disappeared before my eyes and I was back in my hotel room. Cordelia was sitting on the edge of my bed. Giving me a 'see? I told ya' kind of look.
"Cordelia. If ever you cared about me you have to do one thing for me."
She made a motion with her hand to go on. "Since you are a supreme being and all you gotta let me switch." That was her 'huh' face. "Let me take Will's place. She is so much more powerful than I am. She actually used the word champion on me. Can you believe it? I can't do this. She is the strong one and I am just a one-eyed ex-carpenter turned wannabe watcher."