a thought to ponder.

[xandelux]

so, in theory, a lot of women have post-pardom depression because of their disconnect with the control they experience when their pregnant. what i mean is, a lot of women find that when they are pregnant, they have all of these expectations and fantasies about what the child will be like and how everything will look... from big things like where they will end up going to school or who they will marry or whether or not they'll be drug addicts, to little things like whether they're hair will stay blonde or get darker. when the child is born, mothers tend to be upset because they cant make those irrational decisions anymore, they actually ahve to deal with where their child will go to college and what they'll do and if their hair will get darker, and this causes a lot of upset for women at times, haveing to admit that they no longer own their childs fantasies.

i recently gave birth to my future, and i'm struggling with the fact that i can't make those irrational fantasies about my life anymore, because its happening, i'm no longer ten, dreaming of being famous or writing novels or being a gallery owner... i have to deal with my life and my accomplishments and i just have one thing to say.

i'd like to be pregnant again.

ang