(no subject)
...i cannot sleep.
strangely, despite the most important event of my life not happening and me being numb & cold inside and out, this week has come together for me in its own little way.
i had dinner reservations for last tuesday at Mario's, a nice italian restaurant, but couldn't follow through due to a sudden change of plans. my debit card was burning a hole in my pocket that day and i had to decide between a new guitar and a plane ticket. i wanted to buy the plane ticket because it would mean more to me than the guitar, even in the long run, but i went with the guitar because i couldn't do it...
it seems every time something goes wrong, i go out and buy a guitar. this was my third one in two weeks, and there is a possibility that another seven-string will be on the way next week. i can't buy happiness but it comforts me, in a way, knowing that no matter what i don't have, i'll always have my music to fall back on. but it also worries me, as i do have limited cash flow and i've been told, and i realize, the fact that i spend entirely too much money on musical instruments. at least this one's a nice one that'll last a long time.
( it's the one on the bottom. )
and then the band. bryan envies me for my new purchase. nigel is just... nigel. and he needs a new double bass pedal. but in all seriousness, i'm so glad i have them, this band, the music in my life. ever since i joined this band, it's become more than just a hobby for me. it's more than having fun. this is my life; it's our life. we are so incredibly dedicated to our music that we've given nearly everything up to complete our record. the only things that still need to be done are half of the vocals and the mastering. nigel's more or less dropped out of college and bryan is contemplating it. we want to play out, tour, record more. we've got a good half of our next record already written and we're going to record it this coming summer. we're going to find a new bass player and we're going to play out, we're going to tour new york and very possibly the east coast.
i showed them the new katatonia the other day and, for lack of a better expression, they nearly creamed their pants. hopefully they tour the US in the near future, because now i've got two people to go see them with.
...
i don't know why but i've had this feeling that i need to be doing something at every last moment over the past week. and i feel mute or suppressed in some way, even useless at points when i don't have my hands on a guitar. i can't express myself through words as well as i can with music. as soon as i'm done with school in a few weeks (for this i cannot FUCKING wait) however this will change.
i shall return to livejournal though, do not worry. only time will tell if it will be sooner or later.
strangely, despite the most important event of my life not happening and me being numb & cold inside and out, this week has come together for me in its own little way.
i had dinner reservations for last tuesday at Mario's, a nice italian restaurant, but couldn't follow through due to a sudden change of plans. my debit card was burning a hole in my pocket that day and i had to decide between a new guitar and a plane ticket. i wanted to buy the plane ticket because it would mean more to me than the guitar, even in the long run, but i went with the guitar because i couldn't do it...
it seems every time something goes wrong, i go out and buy a guitar. this was my third one in two weeks, and there is a possibility that another seven-string will be on the way next week. i can't buy happiness but it comforts me, in a way, knowing that no matter what i don't have, i'll always have my music to fall back on. but it also worries me, as i do have limited cash flow and i've been told, and i realize, the fact that i spend entirely too much money on musical instruments. at least this one's a nice one that'll last a long time.
( it's the one on the bottom. )
and then the band. bryan envies me for my new purchase. nigel is just... nigel. and he needs a new double bass pedal. but in all seriousness, i'm so glad i have them, this band, the music in my life. ever since i joined this band, it's become more than just a hobby for me. it's more than having fun. this is my life; it's our life. we are so incredibly dedicated to our music that we've given nearly everything up to complete our record. the only things that still need to be done are half of the vocals and the mastering. nigel's more or less dropped out of college and bryan is contemplating it. we want to play out, tour, record more. we've got a good half of our next record already written and we're going to record it this coming summer. we're going to find a new bass player and we're going to play out, we're going to tour new york and very possibly the east coast.
i showed them the new katatonia the other day and, for lack of a better expression, they nearly creamed their pants. hopefully they tour the US in the near future, because now i've got two people to go see them with.
...
i don't know why but i've had this feeling that i need to be doing something at every last moment over the past week. and i feel mute or suppressed in some way, even useless at points when i don't have my hands on a guitar. i can't express myself through words as well as i can with music. as soon as i'm done with school in a few weeks (for this i cannot FUCKING wait) however this will change.
i shall return to livejournal though, do not worry. only time will tell if it will be sooner or later.