I have to go read...
The most important book I've ever had in my life has just arrived in the mail. I have needed this for a long time to help me stave off all those things that are trying so hard to kill me. You think this is a joke, but it is no laughing matter. You just get a simple "headache". I, on the other hand, get brain cancer. You get a simple "cold". I get double pneumonia complicated with staph infections. You get... Well, hopefully, you get the idea.
The book is entitled, "The Complete Manual of Things That Might Kill You: A Guide to Self-Diagnosis for Hypochondriacs". I'm not a hypochondriac but I am well aware that I am always suffering from some horrible, probably fatal disease or disorder. Like right now, I'm feeling a bit sleepy. My guess is that I have some severe form of neurological degeneration that will cause me to die within hours... Please, keep your fingers crossed. In case I die and can't report back, I'm including a photo of the book so you can buy a copy for yourself... before it's too late!
I don't know why LJ laid the book on sideways. The book, too, may be succumbing from some horrible disorder and is unable to stand erect... Good God, the end is near!
The book is entitled, "The Complete Manual of Things That Might Kill You: A Guide to Self-Diagnosis for Hypochondriacs". I'm not a hypochondriac but I am well aware that I am always suffering from some horrible, probably fatal disease or disorder. Like right now, I'm feeling a bit sleepy. My guess is that I have some severe form of neurological degeneration that will cause me to die within hours... Please, keep your fingers crossed. In case I die and can't report back, I'm including a photo of the book so you can buy a copy for yourself... before it's too late!
I don't know why LJ laid the book on sideways. The book, too, may be succumbing from some horrible disorder and is unable to stand erect... Good God, the end is near!