Opening a wounded heart (Oneshot)

Feb 18, 2012 18:05


Title:  Opening a wounded heart
Author: xamuletheartx
Pairing:  Yaotome Hikaru x OC (Hayase Karina)
Genre: Angst? Romance?
Rating: PG
Summary: Once you categorized something as being a precious thing, bit by bit you become scared of parting with it…
A/N: omg this is sooo emo-ish im sorry if it’s not to ur liking!!!
Requested by: suyooyuuchie14

I know one day I will be physically taken away from you but nevertheless until that time comes I will protect you with my very own hands. )

yaotome x oc, request, one-shot, fanfictions

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Comments 15

hi_chew_galore February 18 2012, 20:28:29 UTC
Spot! Hehe

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hi_chew_galore February 18 2012, 20:32:53 UTC
Wahhh! SO DEEP~! HEEHEHHEHHE I LOVE HIKARU FANFICS! GOODJOB FRIEND!!

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xamuletheartx February 19 2012, 10:50:24 UTC
Ahahaha sankyuuu~!!!

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usagi_goes_pyon February 18 2012, 22:22:18 UTC
;w;
Hikaru... What a manly man!! XD

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xamuletheartx February 19 2012, 10:50:46 UTC
Eheheheh~!
thnks for reading and commenting

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suyooyuuchie14 February 19 2012, 06:24:34 UTC
I shouted "Lovely" 3 times while reading this! ahhhhh I'm satisfied!really! I was surprised that you wrote it in Karina's pov and you got exactly her character! (the one I'm imagining her to be)

The points that I love:

the thought of having someone close to hikaru died instead of someone leaving him for someone else. I love

the character shift of hikaru from being cheery to someone stoic just because he doesn't want to feel attached to someone for the fear of being left behind :3

Karina's persistence!..and her knowledge of the situation (about what happened in the past. supposed that maybe hikaru's her friend from the start?) :3

Thank youuuu!!! <3 <3 <3

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xamuletheartx February 19 2012, 10:51:59 UTC
Awwww thnks bb~!!
really? I'm glad that I did ^^ this was nice to write XD I enjoyed writing this one XD

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talktoyourpet March 2 2012, 13:43:28 UTC
YO! You might wanna check this sentence again? It just doesn't flow right... or maybe it's just me?
[By now the two started arguing with each other and tears fell on her plump cheeks as she felt her self getting furious at Hikaru, she felt herself push the older boy and pin him on the wall before embracing the boy in her arms warmly, trying her utmost best to convey that everyone needs someone and that just because you lose one person doesn’t mean you lose everything.]
But overall, I love how you added Hikaru's POV later at the end. It brings everything to such a perfect closing. ^^

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xamuletheartx March 2 2012, 17:49:18 UTC
ahahaha idk? maybe it doesnt flow right ahaha XD i have no one to beta it so ahaha XD

<333 sankyuu~!!! oh really? XD

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talktoyourpet March 4 2012, 09:22:48 UTC
just a suggestion. why don't you change it like this?

[By now, the two started arguing with each other and tears fell on her plump cheeks as she felt herself getting furious at Hikaru, then she felt herself pushing the older boy and pinning him on the wall before embracing the boy warmly in her arms, trying her utmost best to convey that everyone needs someone and that just because you lost one person doesn't mean that lose everything.]

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xamuletheartx March 7 2012, 17:24:26 UTC
ahahaha thnks <3 *hugs*
it's corrected~!

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