the life i use to love now only brings me pain...

[xamongxdeadx]

i complain to much....

everyone wants money and things... all i want is someone to love... everyone gets what i want and i get stuck with nothing. i couldn't care less if i were a bum on the streets, as long as she was by my side. That will never happen though. i can't function with the thought circulating in my mind that my euphoric dream life will never be due to a rather ridiculous move on my part. i always kill my dreams and then try to bring them back with my tears. it's pathetic to because people are dying, kids are starving and all that is wrong with me is that im alone. im pathetic... so many things have gone right in my life. i haven't had it easy but the road ahead is smooth and i can coast down it with ease, but doing so will force me into the solitude which i hate. it is a enigma as to how my life is so horrible... i wish i knew what i see... i think that is why i run and why i want to run ultra runs... because i can be alone without caring that i am in fact alone. the pain from a fifty mile run destroys the pain from a broken, patheic heart...

see you next time...space cowboy...