"..then fuck off!"
Jessica text messaged me last night. Our first communication in about two or three weeks. More like two, feels like three.
she said: "I'm drinking Cristal right now!", and she was. Because she can do that. All that shit that rappers rap about Prada, Louis Vuitton, Lexus', Benz', Cristal, Tiffany's, she lives it. There's definately more to her than that though. She's a great writer, she's fucking smart as shit, she's determined, she's fashionable, she's funny, sexy, gorgeous, determined, hard working, thoughtful, basically she's the perfect girl- seriously. I'm what they rap about when they talk about before they got signed or whatever. Rent being late, cell phone getting turned off every other month(well not anymore), car breaking down, getting locked up, being broke. All that shit. Makes me a little insecure sometimes. I know she doesn't care about shit like that but it's so obvious. She's never ridden a city bus. I didn't know that filet mignon wasn't fish until this year. lol! We've been through so much shit together and people will never know. They'll never know why she's crazy and I'm an idiot. We talked for a little bit in b/t her partying last night. Her best friend yelled at me for like 5 minutes straight. She said things I really needed to hear. Jessica told me things she'd never told me before. After all this time she's still holding shit back from me. I never would have known. It's so hard for me to find the right balance that I want in a relationship. I know that's what I want, but something is just weird, and it holds me back. Oh well, she called me again just after 1am her time (5pm here) I was asleep, I told her I'd call her later. She said "good night sweetheart". She was a little drunk. I hate talking about important shit when she's drunk. So much stuff has happened since she's been gone. I feel like I'm just settling or trying to cover up how I feel about her. It's so ridiculous that this is all my fault....
I'm at my mom's house. She needed to borrow my car b/c hers died. So I'm sitting here on her computer, washing my clothes and stuff. My sister is here w/ her baby, he's the cutest. I got him a gift card to the GAP, he's less than one year old, but you gotta get them started early! I got the same thing for my one year old niece. My two year old nephew (he's my favorite) gets a big tonka truck with lights and sounds! Like the kind I always wanted. I think I'm going to take him shopping too. He's so awesome! Anyway I guess I'm gonna go think about calling Jessica now. Maybe I shouldn't Monica was pretty stern and serious on the phone. I don't want to make promises I can't keep.
she said: "I'm drinking Cristal right now!", and she was. Because she can do that. All that shit that rappers rap about Prada, Louis Vuitton, Lexus', Benz', Cristal, Tiffany's, she lives it. There's definately more to her than that though. She's a great writer, she's fucking smart as shit, she's determined, she's fashionable, she's funny, sexy, gorgeous, determined, hard working, thoughtful, basically she's the perfect girl- seriously. I'm what they rap about when they talk about before they got signed or whatever. Rent being late, cell phone getting turned off every other month(well not anymore), car breaking down, getting locked up, being broke. All that shit. Makes me a little insecure sometimes. I know she doesn't care about shit like that but it's so obvious. She's never ridden a city bus. I didn't know that filet mignon wasn't fish until this year. lol! We've been through so much shit together and people will never know. They'll never know why she's crazy and I'm an idiot. We talked for a little bit in b/t her partying last night. Her best friend yelled at me for like 5 minutes straight. She said things I really needed to hear. Jessica told me things she'd never told me before. After all this time she's still holding shit back from me. I never would have known. It's so hard for me to find the right balance that I want in a relationship. I know that's what I want, but something is just weird, and it holds me back. Oh well, she called me again just after 1am her time (5pm here) I was asleep, I told her I'd call her later. She said "good night sweetheart". She was a little drunk. I hate talking about important shit when she's drunk. So much stuff has happened since she's been gone. I feel like I'm just settling or trying to cover up how I feel about her. It's so ridiculous that this is all my fault....
I'm at my mom's house. She needed to borrow my car b/c hers died. So I'm sitting here on her computer, washing my clothes and stuff. My sister is here w/ her baby, he's the cutest. I got him a gift card to the GAP, he's less than one year old, but you gotta get them started early! I got the same thing for my one year old niece. My two year old nephew (he's my favorite) gets a big tonka truck with lights and sounds! Like the kind I always wanted. I think I'm going to take him shopping too. He's so awesome! Anyway I guess I'm gonna go think about calling Jessica now. Maybe I shouldn't Monica was pretty stern and serious on the phone. I don't want to make promises I can't keep.