(no subject)
Isn't it funny that when you finally return to LJ to actually write a post for the first time in months that its the same day your best infrequent poster friends did too?
Anyways. I'm halfway through my third semester of my second year of grad school. This has been some in the blink of an eye type shit. I'm plugging away at this novel and with the recent stupid stresses of financial aid hassles and money borrowing and lending and housemates and moving and yaddayaddayadda, it's like I just dove into the fiction deeper. Sometimes it's all I think about and I know I'm becoming one of those crazy writers where everything ties back into this one project. It's been a decade since I've been that guy.
I'm scared of school being over. Everything is moving so fast I'm going to be out before I know it and I'm thinking of how to get through as much of this book as possible by the time I get out. I got pretty deep into it, but I've got to FINISH, even just a first draft. I'm closing in on Pg.150, but I'm guessing at 600 total, so if I keep going at a similar pace, I'm guessing maybe I'll get through the second 200 page section, but parhaps not my vague finishing line sometime in 2014. Terrifying.
The pressure to produce feels so real, it's been almost impossible to let myself breathe. Recent attpempts at relaxation have been kinda bust, and I know i'm dealing with a slow build up before I really need to blow off steam. I feel bad that Lacy and I aren't having as much of the care free fun that we had this time last year. We're both working even harder than before.
I'm missing friends as usual of course. When I come up for air after intense periods of work I realize how much time has passed since I've had real talk with any of them and get really sad and self aware about the things I've let slip. I didn't get invited to an old good friends wedding and it felt pretty crappy. A bunch of old homies have gotten hitched lately according to FB and it just feels so alien. I'm still very detached from other peoples grown uppiness, and I'm older than most of these people. It makes me think there's something wrong with me.
Lace and I moved to a new house where at least we are friends with everyone who lives here...no more weird passive aggressive anarchist hoarders. It's cool to have something that feels like a fresh start, but I've already been here a couple weeks and have barely looked up from the day to day to really appreciate the change in surroundings.
I have noticed that I live closer to a coffee shop that stays open late, and i've been having a more east coast winter kind of coffee consumption where I'm set to vibrate after a long cafe work sesh.
Working out is seriously the only steady stress relief. I've joined a gym for the first time ever, and yeah it's crossfit, and I KNOW, it's a cult and all that, and I don't want to be one of those crossfit people who always talks about crossfit. BUT...it is really fun, and challenging and I'm seeing the biggest change in my fitness results since the height of my insanity punx days.
I get so much LiveJournal spam lately that I'm almost tempted to dump it...but I just can't let go.
A mood tag hamster for the first time in years? why the eff not?
Anyways. I'm halfway through my third semester of my second year of grad school. This has been some in the blink of an eye type shit. I'm plugging away at this novel and with the recent stupid stresses of financial aid hassles and money borrowing and lending and housemates and moving and yaddayaddayadda, it's like I just dove into the fiction deeper. Sometimes it's all I think about and I know I'm becoming one of those crazy writers where everything ties back into this one project. It's been a decade since I've been that guy.
I'm scared of school being over. Everything is moving so fast I'm going to be out before I know it and I'm thinking of how to get through as much of this book as possible by the time I get out. I got pretty deep into it, but I've got to FINISH, even just a first draft. I'm closing in on Pg.150, but I'm guessing at 600 total, so if I keep going at a similar pace, I'm guessing maybe I'll get through the second 200 page section, but parhaps not my vague finishing line sometime in 2014. Terrifying.
The pressure to produce feels so real, it's been almost impossible to let myself breathe. Recent attpempts at relaxation have been kinda bust, and I know i'm dealing with a slow build up before I really need to blow off steam. I feel bad that Lacy and I aren't having as much of the care free fun that we had this time last year. We're both working even harder than before.
I'm missing friends as usual of course. When I come up for air after intense periods of work I realize how much time has passed since I've had real talk with any of them and get really sad and self aware about the things I've let slip. I didn't get invited to an old good friends wedding and it felt pretty crappy. A bunch of old homies have gotten hitched lately according to FB and it just feels so alien. I'm still very detached from other peoples grown uppiness, and I'm older than most of these people. It makes me think there's something wrong with me.
Lace and I moved to a new house where at least we are friends with everyone who lives here...no more weird passive aggressive anarchist hoarders. It's cool to have something that feels like a fresh start, but I've already been here a couple weeks and have barely looked up from the day to day to really appreciate the change in surroundings.
I have noticed that I live closer to a coffee shop that stays open late, and i've been having a more east coast winter kind of coffee consumption where I'm set to vibrate after a long cafe work sesh.
Working out is seriously the only steady stress relief. I've joined a gym for the first time ever, and yeah it's crossfit, and I KNOW, it's a cult and all that, and I don't want to be one of those crossfit people who always talks about crossfit. BUT...it is really fun, and challenging and I'm seeing the biggest change in my fitness results since the height of my insanity punx days.
I get so much LiveJournal spam lately that I'm almost tempted to dump it...but I just can't let go.
A mood tag hamster for the first time in years? why the eff not?