SNOW
I love snow. Don't you? Every winter the white stuff spills out of the sky making everything beautiful and Christmas-y. DAMN, BULLSHIT!!! I hate snow. I hate winter. I especially hate those ass-janitors who LOVE snow. Every winter they pray and desire for the white stuff to come in mass quantities. What the fuck is so great about that? This is Minnesota. Isn't EVERYONE a skiier or snowboarder or ice-fisherman or snowmobiler or some other crap? NOT ME. I've lived here my whole fucking life and I still hate snow. As I said, I have a special loathing for the snow-enthusiasts. Those pricks on TV...you know the ones, the weather-people. I can understand them having excitement for snow in the autumn weeks, but now it's MARCH and they STILL want the white shit. WHAT THE HELL??? Hasn't there been enough for you? It's that time of year when the snow gets all icy and grainy and dirty. Then more falls and THEN it gets into the 30-degrees and the snow starts to melt. THEN it turns to ice on the ground and people slip and fall into the slush. How can anyone not have excitement for THAT? I know I do. I just love having my pants soaked with slush so it looks as if I pissed myself. I just love scraping myself up on the grainy ice and having my gear spill all over the place. Don't you? If you DON'T love the snow you are considered a hypocrite by the Minnesotans. If you don't shovel your sidewalk in the city you get a notice from the city Snow Nazis who threaten you with a $120 fine. Fuck That Shit. I have a bad back and I feel shitty having to ask my housemates--who are all GIRLS--to do the shovelling. Yet the Snow Enthusiasts are out there with big shit-eating grins shovelling away. I imagine they can't WAIT for that fucking chore. It's snow after all.
"I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors, but I think that God's got a sick sense of humor." --Depeche Mode.
"I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors, but I think that God's got a sick sense of humor." --Depeche Mode.